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Amazing X-Men Annual Review #1

Amazing Annual - 1

We have the first Amazing X-Men Annual issue, which has Storm on the cover so it looks like it will be a Storm heavy issue, which makes me happy since I love Storm.

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“X-Men: Days of Future Past” final trailer

The final trailer before X-Men: Days of Future Past hits theaters on May 23rd has been released.

The trailer looks good, it gives us more insight into the movie, but I do have a question about Xavier walking.  In some scenes he is walking around and in others he is in the wheelchair.  The speculation is that he is using mechanical leg braces which he has used in the comics.  That would make sense especially with Beast hanging around/living with him.  I am curious as to what happened between First Class and Days of Future Past.  Magento is captured and Mystique seems to be just chilling and not trying to get Magneto out.  Did they have a lovers quarrel, with those two I wouldn’t be shocked.  It might have had something to do with her sleeping with Azazel, obviously Nightcrawler must become a thing.  Please let Quicksilver know that Magneto is his father or find out during the movie.  I really don’t want another Mystique – Nightcrawler thing from X2, it made me so mad that they never brought up he was her son.

Who is planning on checking out the movie on May 23rd?

Rescuing the Magic Kingdom

Welcome to a quick (okay, not so quick) guide to helping to save the Magic Kingdom!

Ahyuk!

As all should be aware the Magic Kingdom is under constant threat of numerous Villains, the leader in this threat seems to be Hades, who has access to all villains alive and dead (a little creepy when you think about it too much).  Disney World is always on the look out for heroes to help save the Magic Kingdom.  If you’re a willing volunteer, unafraid the perils of villains and throngs of masses also attending the festivities of the Magic Kingdom, then you can become a Secret Sorcerer.

It’s a process just to get to the gates!

Once you’ve taken the ferry or the monorail over to the awe inspiring world of Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, you find yourself on the streets of Main Street USA.  If you’re lucky the first thing you’ll see will be a horse…

Horse!!!

…and that horse will be pulling a car full of happy peppy singers…

…singers… so… much… pepp…

If you’re like me, once you’ve recovered from the frightened shock of the energy these positive creatures exude, and your eye has stopped twitching because it’s still just 9:00AM, you’ll want to make you’re way over to the Firehouse.
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Amazing X-Men #5 Review

Amazing X-Men 5 cover

I got this issue on time; I learned my lesson from the last time.  Let’s recap last issue, Nightcrawler rounded up all the remaining X-Men on the ship where they are awaiting to battle Nightcrawler’s father Azazel.  In addition, Nightcraweler made some kind of deal with the red Bamf’s to turn them blue but we don’t know what it is yet.

The issue starts back at the Jean Grey School, which has not been seen since the first issue, where Warbird, Angel, and Rachel Grey (aka Rachel Summers) are all helping the blue Bamf’s fight the red Bamfs.

Picture 1

Well it’s nice to see that some of the teachers were left at the school just in case.  It also answers my time question, apparently Storm, Wolverine, Northstar, Iceman, Beast, and Firstar have not been trapped in Hell for a very long time.  Rachel cannot get a telepathic lock on any of the X-Men that went through the portal.

Picture 2

The red Bamf’s are trying to destroy the portal while everyone else is trying to keep it open because it seem to be the only way to get the rest of the X-Men back.

Back in Hell or at least on the pirate ship the Storm, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Iceman, Firestar, Beast and Northstar are getting ready to battle Azazel and his demon pirates.

Picture 3

While the rest of the X-Men, battle Azazel demon pirate army, Azazel and Nightcrawler faceoff.

Picture 4

I have begun to find their interactions interesting because of how much Nightcrawler hates his father.  Nightcrawler will do anything to prove that he is different and not his father’s son.  Nightcrawler and Azazel continue to bamf around the ship fighting each other.

Picture 5Azazel decides to be a bigger ass then normal and bamfs down to Wolverine and stabs him through the back.  Now this normally wouldn’t be a problem but Wolverine lost his healing factor becasue of a virue and Azazel knows this – ass.

Picture 6

Nightcrawler bamfs down to Wolverine who tells Nightcrawler to on keep fighting.  A voice begins to talk to Nightcrawler in his head, I wonder who it could be, why Professor X.

Picture 7

Professor X, tells Nightcrawler that Archangels are on their way, that Nightcrawler should let them finish the fight.   Nightcrawler should come back to Heaven because what Nightcrawler is thinking of doing can’t be undone.  What is Nightcrawler thinking of doing?  Nightcrawler tells Professor X that he knows that no jail but one can hold Azazel, since Azazel is Nightcrawler’s father, Nightcrawler must be the one to do it.  Nightcrawler then tells the one Bamf that he is ready to pay what he owes so tell the others that it is time.  What kind of deal did Nightcrawler make?

Picture 8

Back at the school the portal begins to glow and Rachel reads the Bamfs minds and all they are saying is “It’s time.” Then the Bamfs begin to merge together well that’s what is looks like anyway.  Why are the Bamf’s merging together?

Picture 9

Nightcrawler then tells Wolverine to hold on, Wolverine just wants to be propped up to he can stab some people before he dies.

Picture 10

Seriously, they can’t kill Wolverine that would cause an uproar.  Nightcrawler goes back to fighting with his father but Azazel is planning to leave because the Archangels are coming.  Nightcrawler commands his Bamfs so come and attack his father.

Picture 11

Nightcrawler tells us that his father had sired children so they could be used as pawns to transport his army to Earth.  Nightcrawler has decided to make his father proud.

Azazel is bamfed through the portal and Nightcrawler is standing on the other side – naked.  I am guessing the Bamf’s merged together to form Nightcrawler?  Then Nightcrawler cuts his hand and lets the blood drip down.  Azazel tried to taunt Nightcrawler saying the people will die because of this, but Nightcrawler just punches him.

Picture 12

Thank goodness, because I was really getting tired of hear Azazel’s cray.  The reason that Nightcrawler cut his hand was to use Azazel’s blood to trap him on Earth. Storm tells everyone to grab a Bamf because it is time to go.  Nightcrawler closes the door of the portal once everyone is through while Professor X waves good-bye.  Nightcrawler has come back to life.

Picture 13

Wolverine finds Nightcrawler on the roof of the school, Wolverine talks to Nightcrawler about how hard this has to be for him. Wolverine and Northstar were the only X-Men to have actually been transported to Heaven.  Nightcrawler says how while he was there all he wanted was another adventure but now he doesn’t know if he can ever go back. Wolverine knows that Nightcrawler did something to get that body but Nightcrawler says he did nothing.

Picture 14

Then Nightcrawler thinks to himself how he saved billions of souls at the cost of his own.

Picture 15

Let me be the first to say – yay Nightcrawler is back, I have always liked his character.  I finally have my answer as to what kind of deal Nightcrawler made. I don’t know how I feel about Nightcrawler giving away his soul on order to defeat his father. I agree that something needed to be done to stop Azazel but did Nightcrawler really have to give up his soul. I guess we will see the effect of that when Nightcrawler gets his own series.  Also I am going to miss the Bamfs they were adorable, well at least I think they are gone.  In the next issue, we will see Nightcrawler come face to face with his mother (I guess she had to see for herself that he was alive) and Cyclops.  Nightcrawler obviously does not know about the change in Cyclops that should be an interesting meeting.

Amazing X-Men 6

Until next month.

X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailer #2

The second trailer for X-Men: Days of Future Past has been released.

I have to say this trailer makes me excited for the movie.  I know there will be lore issues, but I am liking the dynamic between Professor X and Magneto.  I have always liked their bromance, so I am interested to see how it is portrayed in this movie.

What do you think of the new trailer?

Amazing X-Men #4 Review

amzing - cover

Sorry for the late posting on this but it was sold out when I went to grab the comic the day it come out so I had to wait for them to get a new shipment.  That is what I get for not telling them pull a copy for me.  Lets recap what happened last issue well Beast was also pulled into the portal as well.  The pirates on the ship holding Storm were getting pissed because she kept beating them up.  Nightcrawler came in to save the day and had a moment with Storm.  Beast was attacking Nightcrawler because something happened to him the sea of purgatory.

The issue opens with Logan in the frozen tundra looking rather cold.

Amazing X-men #4 -1

Northstar falls into the snow saying how he has flown everywhere but all he could see was snow.  Wolverine said that they have to keep going because they had to find Nightcrawler.

Firestar is still battling demons in hell with Iceman melting on the floor.

Iceman is seriously melting

Iceman is seriously melting

Firestar is wondering if she should kill Iceman mainly to stop his suffering.  She realizes that he would do anything to save her and she figures if Iceman can freeze hell then she can make it burn.

Angry Firestar

Angry Firestar

Well Iceman can do things like that because he is an Omega level mutant, but I’ll just leave that alone.

Back on the pirate ship, Beast is still trying to kill Nightcrawler who tries to reason with Beast.

Beast please don't kill me we're friends.

Beast please don’t kill me we’re friends.

Storm notices a sword in Beasts back.  In an attempt to stop Beast, Nightcraweler bamfs him around the ship, which caused Beast to vomit on him – much to Nightcrawlers chagrin.  Nightcrawler did ask Beast not to vomit on him, which means he knew that it was a possibility so it’s Nightcrawler’s fault.

Amazing X-men #4 -4

Nightcrawler begs Beast to remember something, which causes a flashback of the team going out to Harry’s but Beast and Nightcrawler did not join them.  They instead played another game of Obstacle Chess, which Beast won.

I have to say this looks like fun

I have to say this looks like fun

Beast remembers that while Storm pulls the sword from his back.  Beast is really happy to see Nightcrawler, who wouldn’t be happy to see their dead friend.

Oh my friend, I am so happy to see you because well you died

Oh my friend, I am so happy to see you because well you died

Nightcrawler told Beast that he liked his new face and that he should keep it.  Beast likes to change him look around.  Strom reminds them that they have the ship to themselves.  Nightcrawler reminds them that they have to find the rest of the X-Men.  One of the Bamfs gives Nightcrawler a hat, which makes Beast realize that Nightcrawler had sent them.

Iceman wakes up thinking his face is melting but then he realizes that he is not melting anymore.  Then of course he naturally jumps to the conclusion he is dead.  All right, I will give him that one because I would probably jump to the same conclusion.

I'm melting

I’m melting

Firestar lets him know that he is not dead she also hopes to stay an X-Men forever.  I guess being an X-Men is a good thing now because she was not feeling it when they first got to Hell.

Please let me be an X-Men forever, I'm sorry I complained when I first started

Please let me be an X-Men forever, I’m sorry I complained when I first started

Firestar then lets him know that the Bamfs saved them.  I learned during this scene is that all the Bamfs apparently speak is bamf and whiskey.  Iceman thinks they should look around and try to find a cave painting or a magic sword because there is always a magic sword.

Amazing X-men #4 -9

Why does Iceman still sound young and stupid, I thought that would stop once he grew up.  Nightcrawler shows up which of course makes Iceman happy.  Firestar beings to introduce herself (because that is what you do when you’re in Hell) but Nightcrawler says he knows who she is and what she did as he kisses her hand.

Nightcrawler I have missed you so much.  Nightcrawler *Firestar blushes*

Nightcrawler I have missed you so much. Nightcrawler *Firestar blushes*

Nightcrawler is smooth; he is getting all the girls. He can have Firestar since Storm is with Wolverine or at least sleeping with him.  Iceman asks about the Bamfs, which causes Nightcrawler to tell the story of what created them.  Most importantly, how his father found them and fed them his blood, which caused them to look, like him.

I prefer the Bamf's now because they were ugly before

I prefer the Bamf’s now because they were ugly before

That would explain the red Bamfs but what about the blue ones.  Well the one red Bamf that was left in Heaven, Nightcrawler made a deal with.

Amazing X-men #4 -12

What kind of deal I have no idea because Nightcrawler realized they were talking too much and that they needed to go.  How long were these Bamfs building that machine in the school, because they must have been doing that for a while so how long has Nightcrawler been hunting down his dad?  Does time work differently in Hell?  Which makes me ask, how long have they been gone from the real world?

Northstar tells Wolverine that he is worried that they are both not going to make it out of the frozen tundra.  Seriously, where did this tundra come from and it can’t be a part of Hell since Hell is hot.  I know it’s not purgatory because is where the ship is so where is this frozen section.  I doubt it is left over from Iceman.  Wolverine tells Northstar that if he (Wolverine) falls that Northstar should keep going.

Wolverine looks really cold

Wolverine looks really cold

Northstar flies off to look around and Wolverine falls figuring that this is how he is going to die.  Then Wolverine remembers how he once told Nightcrawler how he would like to die, it was not by freezing to death.

Amazing X-men #4 -14

Nightcrawler tells him that when the time comes no one wants to dies alone.  Wolverine than curses Nightcrawler because it gives him the motivation to go on.

Damn you elf

Damn you elf

Then a Bamf appears with Nightcrawler again another happy reunion.

I am so happy to see you please take me from the cold

I am so happy to see you please take me from the cold

Nightcrawler takes Northstar with Firestar to the pirate ship.

On the X-ship Nightcrawler spies his father’s ships, he asks the X-Men if they were ready for a battle.

Amazing X-men #4 -17

I have to say I like this issue because it finally brought everyone together, I had been wondering what happened to Wolverine on the fall.  I really want to know where that frozen section came from.  I am happy to Iceman is not melting anymore, although I really wish his frozen Hell had lasted longer.  Firestar definitely improved in this issue because I was not feeling her in the first and second one.  I really liked how both Beast and Wolverine had flashbacks to moments with Nightcrawler, I am a fan of touching flashbacks.  The Storm and Nightcrawler one from last issue was really nice.  I am hoping there is an Iceman one in the upcoming issue.  I also loved how everyone was so excited to see Nghtcrawler.  I am looking forward to the battle between the X-Men and Azazel and at this point I am hoping that Nightcrawler will be allowed to come back with the X-Men.  I also want to know that the deal was that Nightcrawler made with the Bamf creatures.  I hope that comes out or more importantly we get to see it.

Until next issue, I will try to get the next one on time.

Why Beast looks human in Day of Future Past stills.

We have all seen the stills and a trailer for the new X-Men: Days of the Future Past movie.  While the stills and trailer look good, I have had a question (a few actually) about the movie – why is Beast human?  I am sure we all remember in X-Men: First Class, Beast taking a serum that instead of controlling his mutation actually accelerates it thus causing him to become blue and furry.

What I know from various other X-Men incarnations and the comics, um Beast stays blue and furry.  Ok, except for when he goes green, scaly, and furry – I think most of us would like to forget this version existed.

Many faces of Beast

Many faces of Beast

Then why is he in human form in some of the stills for the movie?

Beast looks rather human here

Beast looks rather human here

An argument can be made that he is using a hologram, which has been used in the X-Men cartoons, but that was also in the 90’s not the 70’s.  While Beast is super smart and can build anything, I am not sure he could have built a hologram in the 70’s, the tech for it probably doesn’t exist.  Lucky for us we don’t have to wonder anymore, Nick Hoult who plays Beast has given us an explanation:

“What’s happened up to this point is between the time of the last movie and this movie my character has created a serum which basically controls his mutation so his appearance is normal as long as he doesn’t get worked up. Any animal instinct or urges, that kind of brings him out. So yeah, he changes into Beast a few times throughout the story and they’ve done some great action sequences with him this time, particularly in the mansion flying around on these chandeliers and stuff.” – Nick Hoult

Is that why he is blue in this scene?

Is that why he is blue in this scene?

Basically Beast is now the Hulk only blue, I don’t know about anyone else but I am not fully feeling this idea.  Beast is supposed to be blue and furry, that is a part of the character.  More importantly is important to the character’s growth, Beast learns to come to grips and accept what he is and he learns to be “Mutant and Proud,” did anyone else hate that line from First Class?  Beast learning to accept his new form is pivotal to his character, the same as it is for the Thing in Fantastic Four.  By making it so that Beast can control his form and only ‘Hulk’ out into it is doing an injustice to the character and making it hard for him to be “Mutant and Proud.”

Beast all Beasted out

Beast all Beasted out

What are your thoughts on the whole Beast being able to control his form?

-Christena

Mutant Makeovers – See the “X-Men: Days of Future Past” Costumes!

What up, Nerds?

By now, the Interwebs are all aflutter with postings and repostings of Empire Magazine’s exclusive photos from Fox’s newest installment in the X-Men movie franchise. In fact, the magazine is releasing 25 different covers, each one with a solo image of a character to be featured in the film. Well… Actually, one of the covers is of director Bryan Singer (and we’ll just gloss over my feelings on him) and Rogue (who was actually cut from the film, by all accounts).

What TFP is going to do here, though, is take a look at each of the photos and analyze each one from a realistic, practical, design, and probably some other perspectives.

Basically, I’m about to tear these costumes to SHREDS.

Ignore my giddiness and maniacal laughter, and let’s get started.

That's a heck of an arch to its back. Sentinel's trying to look SEXY. Watch the future version sport some ducklips.

That’s a heck of an arch to its back. Sentinel’s trying to look SEXY. Watch the future version sport some ducklips.

Sentinels… Okay, so we don’t really get a good look at the feet here, so I can’t comment terribly accurately on the base, but… This whole thing looks kind of unsteady. Like, a stiff breeze or a pothole could knock this bitch over, let alone a bunch of fucking badass mutants. And that massive grate on its chest? That might be an exhaust, which would be a terrible idea for all of the reasons. Maybe it’s actually an air intake, but that still seems like a huge, obvious, highly vulnerable spot for such a thing. This thing looks so unstable with it’s broad, non-centred shoulders, but I also find myself staring uncomprehendingly at its crotch, where it has an athletic cup… Why.

Nice threads, man.

Nice threads, man.

I’m a little bit confused here… By the end of “X-Men: First Class,” they had uniforms. Or, jumpsuits at least. So, why is it that Alex Summers is now sporting a way over-sized olive drab onesie? It almost looks like a pilot’s jumpsuit, but… I can’t figure out why he’d be wearing one. And let’s not even get started on how perfectly his hair is coifed while his clothes are super wrinkled.

WHAT.

WHAT.

What is this even?! Toad is also in military-ish clothes, but… This looks like a past-version, but with a mohawk… And I don’t understand. Toad was in the first X-Men movie, also directed by Bryan Singer, and I see no reason for him to be used again, in the past, with an anachronistic haristyle, acne scars, a completely different actor and complexion, and with whatever the fuck those goggles are.

And he grew up to be Brian Cox?! I think not!

And he grew up to be Brian Cox?! I think not!

Pretty standard stuff here. I don’t know that a regular human and his standard issue US military uniform really needs all that much exposition.

Oh. Oh the 70s.

Oh. Oh the 70s.

This… This is such a 70s suit. ALL OF THE BROWN. Plus the brown sunglasses with their fade… But, I think, the most important element here is the mustache. It’s what lets you know that he’s a villain. Because people with mustaches are never to be trusted.

Once again, the eyes are led down to the crotch.

Once again, the eyes are led down to the crotch.

Some of this… Something about this… It seems half-assed. Those scales seem way too big and, if memory serves correctly, they used to have a texture to them, instead of looking like great, big, sparsely spaced sequins. She used to look more together, parts of her skin looking almost like she had blue-chick psoriasis, but she looks like a Trill (from Star Trek) who got glitter-bombed. Also, her boobs look larger than usual, and her crotch is… uncomfortable. Like, the spots and their sizes gradient out and in and it just looks… Weird. Extra exposed. I dunno. But I don’t like.

How do you get pants on with those feet?

How do you get pants on with those feet?

I actually appreciate that he’s dressed like a person here. Like he’s still clinging to his humanity despite his transformation. And I don’t necessarily hate what he’s wearing, either… But I have the same questions about missing uniforms and also just what he’s trying to accomplish by dressing normal when he’s fucking blue.

I CANNOT.

I CANNOT.

What is this even?! I’m so… Nonverbal right now that I’m going to outsource this one to Kizerezik:

  • “It really looks like he was designed back in the 70’s. Along with Prof X’s jet-chair? It’s totally how the 70 or 80’s thought the future would be like.”
  • “I’m pretty sure that’s an old camera case attached to the front of his belt.”
  • With his speed, wouldn’t most this shit fall off?”
  • “I really like that in the blur of him, his hair isn’t moving at all. If he’s going really fast, wouldn’t his hair be flowing at least a little bit?”
  • “I hope that control thing is connected to a game of pong.”

Actually, y’know what? No. I have formed an opinion now. In my mind, he looks like a refugee from a Young Adult novel that takes place in a dystopian future and whose main character is a teenaged girl who discovers that the quality that makes her special is the key to unraveling the tapestry of lies that hide the true face of evil in her government… And he’s, like, a tertiary character who joins the fight and does shit like making a disposable camera into a bomb and prying control panels off of walls in order to hack into mainframes. I don’t see superspeedy son of a terrorist with magnetic powers. I see a utility belt, a leather jacket, goggles, headphones, a terrible dye job, and it all adds up to a big cliche.

x09-pastmagneto

What is happening with that plate over your abdomen?

I feel like this isn’t a terrible interpretation of  the costume, but it looks like his stomach is pushed out and his shoulders too far back and it’s really throwing me off.

...No. Wait.

…No. Wait.

I don’t have a problem with his clothes. Truth be told, I couldn’t give a shit if he was wearing a mesh tank top and a pink tutu.

DIDN”T THIS MOTHERFUCKER GET PARALYZED AT THE END OF “X-MEN: FIRST CLASS?!”

WTF, guys?

:)

🙂

Obligatory super-ripped, shirtless Hugh Jackman? Check. Bone claws?! Fuck yeah! CONTINUITY, BITCHES!

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

Naw, I’m not here for you having your own cover, Bryan Singer. I’m not going to even dignify this cover with my glorious opinions.

Back to the future!

Back to the future!

Now we have future Logan, with his adamantium claws and a brand new costume. I… actually kind of like this design. I mean, it’s definitely a step up from the leather suits from the first two movies, at the very least. The use of subtle colours in the undersuit, visible mostly in the sleeves is, I think, a nod to the classic Wolverine costume, since the deep blue and dingy yellow are the only non-black colours visible. The spartan use of pads and armour is interesting, especially when we consider the nature of Logan’s powers. And then… The pants. Which have no padding or armour whatsoever. So… Do we not care about Hugh Jackman’s junk?

I think not.

Is this a hoverround chair?!

Is this a hoverround chair?!

Professor X… You’re paralyzed, bro. And yet you have a tactical vest on beneath a black badass jacket. And you have armour on your limp, unfeeling legs. Not even Wolverine had leg armour! You’re in a fancy-shmancy future BULLSHIT flying wheel-less wheelchair. WHAT are you going to do in a combat situation? Be for reals, man.

Oh, his stance is mirroring young Magneto's. METAPHORS ARE IMPORTANT.

Oh, his stance is mirroring young Magneto’s. METAPHORS ARE IMPORTANT.

I guess, in the future, everyone only wears black. And, as you get older and need more armour, you wear less? Whatevah. It’s Sir Ian McKellan. I suppose that the most significant thing here is the lack of his iconic helmet. That’s probably meant to signify his shift to the light side. Either that or he and Professor X are finally together and they’ve agreed to never keep secrets from each other.

Wink wink, 20th Century Fox.

SIGH.

SIGH.

I just… I have so many complaints. Way back in the way back, when I was still in high school and deeply in love with the first two X-Men movies, when superhero movies weren’t lurking around every major US holiday, before Joss Whedon showed me what could really happen with “The Avengers,” a superhero team I had never really cared about growing up, I had no problem with Halle Berry’s protrayal as Storm. Now, as I’ve grown older and wiser and rewatched these movies… I have to call into question this casting choice. Well, to be fair, this is probably mostly poor direction and bad writing, as a lot of people don’t know how to write women, let alone minority women. Let alone the epitome of the Strong, Independent Black Woman. But moving back to the clothing, since that is what’s supposed to be dissected in this post, I appreciate the nods to one of the more iconic costumes, but, really. Are those thigh-high boots? That shit just looks uncomfortable. It’s a good thing she’s not much of a melee fighter in the movies, since she’d have a hard time fighting and running with those shoes, and that cape would get caught on all kinds of shit. Just fly and fling lightning and make terrible quips, Halle. But maybe put a little effort into your hair next time.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

So, the other X-Men are all wearing all black, but Rogue is wearing all white? Is this symbolism? A metaphor? A plot point? Important at ALL?! Probably not, since every nerd news outlet is saying that her entire presence has been cut from the movie. In fact, y’know, I really only have one thing to say to Anna Paquin’s Rogue, a character that has been my bane since the first movie because she’s my FAVOURITE in the comics:

You won't be missed.

You will not be missed.

See you in the deleted scenes.

Is this racist? A little bit, right?

Is this racist? A little bit, right?

So… Warpath looks like if Rufio and the Prince of Persia had a baby, and the baby was STILL the wrong race. It looks like the designers were like, “Let’s give everyone the same base costume, random ass armour, and then let’s throw in some ethnic, and then some inconsistencies with these leather pauldron looking things on his shoulders.” What is with the black across his eyes? Is it to hide the fact that Booboo Stewart is Asian? Okay, he says he’s also Blackfoot Indian, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about Prince Zuko over here… I also have to question the inclusion of Warpath in this movie in general. He has heightened senses, super strength, enhanced speed, and flight, all powers that we already have in the main X-Men cast. What exactly does he bring to the table?

 

Kitty Pryde? Not Shadowcat?

Kitty Pryde? Not Shadowcat?

Her expression is vapid, her face monochromatic, and her outfit painfully plain. Why do we care about movie Kitty again? Oh, yeah. We don’t.

HADUKEN!

HADUKEN!

Once again we see a predominantly black costume with the apparently obligatory shoulder pads. Sunspot, however, has a high-backed collar that I can’t fathom a reason for and, more importantly, some linear yellow piping. The yellow lines remind me very strongly of the reflective tape on firefighters’ uniforms. So… I guess he’s a firefighter. A fighter with fire. He’s like a combination of Pyro and Cyclops, a solar power converter, and I suppose they’ve got to make due with what characters they’ve got left after the shitstorm of “X-Men: the Last Stand.”

x21-blink

WHOS FUCKING HEAD IS THAT THE STICKER IS COVERING?! Oh, wait, I think it’s supposed to be Warpath.

So, she gets a little bit of colour because she dyes her hair like Kizer? Pshaw. She has a little bit of a high-backed collar, although NOTHING like Sunspot’s. Her sleeves look a little shimmery, and I can’t really tell what’s going on with her costume because of all of the shoddy Photoshop. I’m mostly concerned by her doe-eyed look. She looks almost anime-styled and not like the hero. Like the girl that’s really cute and innocent and about to be raped by a tentacle monster. No es bueno, Blink. You should probably book it. Y’know, with the teleportation powers. The ones you needed to have because we never fucking found out what the hell happened to Nightcrawler. Like, really? He was so prominently featured in “X2: X-Mne United,” but we never see or hear of him again?!

Nice beard, bro.

Nice beard, bro.

Why do you have a heavy coat on? You’re ICEman. Are you COLD?!

Come. ON.

Come. ON.

This... Is an awkward pose.

This… Is an awkward pose.

His costume looks really bland and plain as well. And they gave him those fucking shoulder pads! Are those shoulder pads made of, oh, I don’t know, organic metal! Like his skin? Are they tougher, or even as tough? I doubt it. I’ve never seen a version of Colossus with sleeves, let alone with tiny little micro sleeves that only cover the shoulders. It just… It looks wrong to me.

Magical Negro alert!

Magical Negro alert!

He looks like he came to the future after being hurtled in time from Ancient Rome. Like, a brother was in the middle of a gladitorial contest, about to take out a lion or some shit, and Mr. Peabody comes and snatches him and deposits him into a future where giant robots roam the Earth, squishing unsuspecting mutants.I think it’s the cape. The red fucking cape. And the belts across his chest are making me think of Russel Crowe in “Gladiator.”

Now, the real problem here is that it doesn’t look like he, or any of the other mutants for that matter, are sporting their “M” tattoos on their eyes. It’s what fucking marks them as pariahs in the future! It’s a HUGE parallel to the Jews having to wear the Star of David on their clothing. It’s a plot point and the type of thing to drive Magneto up a fucking wall! HOW IS THIS NOT THERE?!

x25-futuresentinel

I don’t even know what kind of thing I’m looking at here.

So, I think that I’d have to understand what the hell is going on with this future sentinel in order to really be able to comment on it. And I DON’T. I have no idea what this is supposed to be, and I think that that in and of itself speaks volumes.

Okay.

So, those are my opinions at the moment. I have SO many SUPER mixed feelings about this movie. I hope it’s good, but I’m really worried that it’s going to lick megaballs.

Le sigh.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

But really, we couldn't get a Gambit cameo?

But really, we couldn’t get a Gambit cameo? Or the redemption of Rogue?

Until next time, Fangirls!