The Walking Dead S5E13 – “Spend”

 This episode opens on Father Gabriel, strolling around Alexandria, finding a little chapel, tearing up a bible.

I feel like they could do better than this MoFo.

Y’know. Just regular priest stuff.

The Walking Dead S5E12 – “Remember”

Alexandria looks awesome. In like a Stepford Wives kind of way.

What a polite house guest Mr. Dixon is!

Oh, and also, there’s someone skulking about just outside of the gates, apparently.The Alexandria welcoming committee demands the surrender of their weapons(Ha!) but Aaron clears them and insists that Rick speak to Diana, the “Oz the Great and Powerful” of their little settlement.

The Walking Recap – TWD S5E10 – “Them”

Them. They. They that are them. Those guys.

Wait. Who are we talking about?

Maybe those bastards who produce the show..?

Okay, so I’m still a little bit bitter about last week.

Anywho. Let’s get on with the recap:

TWD S5E9 – “What Happened and What’s Going On”

The season resumes! And I’m still not upset that Beth died. I mean, I’m bummed for Maggie, but…

Zero fucks.

Well, the episode opens with a montage that includes the gang leaving Grady, burying Beth, and places that have fallen (Woodbury and the prison) as they decide to pursue what would have been Beth and… What’s His Name’s plans. We also get a glance back at the girls that Carol had to kill, and I think the show has shifted from killing every black character to killing every little blonde girl…

But wait… I don’t remember any of these flashbacks…

The Walking Dead S5E7 – “Crossed”

We open on Sasha Fierce– a fierce Sasha axing a pew. The others are also taking apart the church, picking parts of the interior apart to fortify the exterior. Rick, Daryl, Sasha, Tyreese, and Noah head off to Atlanta to bring back Carol, leaving Michonne, Carl, Li’l Asskicker, and the Priest to hold down the fort, even as the latter is having a hard time with the shambles of his now blood-splattered church.

“God’s gonna be pissed when He sees how they’ve trashed His place…”

Probably should’ve gotten that blood out right away if you didn’t want it to soak into he wood, bro…