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New 52 Comic Review – “World’s Finest” #22

Let’s dive right in.

Picking right up where last issue left off, Helena and Karen are sifting through the wreckage of Ken’s portal to Earth 2, and tensions are kind of high. Karen is certain that that was their home, and that Clark either needed her help or was faking being evil also because he needed her help. Helena insists that there’s a very good chance that it was just yet another copy of home, but Karen accuses her of not having the ability to admit when she’s wrong.

Because, really, when it comes to their intellect, the Bat-family is just as overconfident as the Kryptonians.

Because, really, when it comes to their intellect, the Bat-family is just as overconfident as the Kryptonians.

 

Agents of A.R.G.U.S. show up to confiscate the remains of the device, and the girls aren’t super keen on just given up a possible ride home. Told to put their weapons on the floor, Karen rips the concrete out from under them before Helena can even get all the way through her utility belt.

A.R.G.U.S., of course, stands for Alternate Reality Guys Using  Stereotypes.

A.R.G.U.S., of course, stands for Alternate Reality Guys Using Stereotypes.

 

The girls take out the men pretty effectively, but they’ve got back-up. A tank is sent in and surely that will prove more of a match for– .

Wait never mind.

Wait never mind.

 

Now it gets a little bit weird, though.

Here begins a flashback sequel, with no preamble, but which spans several pages.

Pretty sure this is a younger Helena. Maybe.

Pretty sure this is a younger Helena. Maybe.

 

This vaguely Bat-family-ish girl is obviously attempting to untie herself, having been caught while on her idea of a miniature vacation, freeing a bunch of immigrants who have found themselves forced into sexual slavery and in the hands of a bunch of drunken hunters who look awfully well put together for hill folk.

But then she says something in her inner monologue about her dad spinning in his grave, plus it sounds like her mom is still alive and kicking, so maybe not.

Either way, she manages to make her way back into the cabin where the girls are being kept and attempts to fight off the men… While still bound at the ankles and with her arms behind her back. Needless to say, it doesn’t really go particularly well for her. One of the men knocks her out.

Um, blunt force trauma does show, and often times it can totally be determined what type of weapon or object was used to inflict the wound. Maybe get past the first season of CSI next time you binge watch Netflix, huh?

Um, blunt force trauma does show, and often times it can totally be determined what type of weapon or object was used to inflict the wound. Maybe get past the first season of CSI next time you binge watch Netflix, huh?

So, dude mentions wanting to lot leave traceable anything in autopsy, yes? So they are definitely going to kill this girl. Because, if nothing else, it would be terrible easy to do so now and to dave yourselves a whole lot of trouble later on, right? Right.

Except for not.

I know they're drunk hillbillies, but their planning seems to be getting worse and worse.

I know they’re drunk hillbillies, but their planning seems to be getting worse and worse.

They leave her alive, and less restrained than before, with only one arm tied to a tree. Supposedly wolves will get her, but I can’t help but wonder why they wouldn’t either kill her or just add her to their selection of women to abuse..?

I guess I’m underestimating the chivalry of the average redneck mass rapist.

The wolves don’t get her, by the way.

She makes it back to the cabin and torches the place, watching from outside as everyone makes it outside, miraculously.

Also, apparently, the house was made of matches.

Also, apparently, the house was made of matches.

She catches the men off-guard and, this time without all of the pesky rope keeping her limbs tucked to her sides and useless, is able to defeat them.

You know they were abducted right as they got into the country. What makes you think that they have cellular phones, or that at the very least roaming isn't a thing?

You know they were abducted right as they got into the country. What makes you think that they have cellular phones, or that at the very least roaming isn’t a thing?

Back in the present day, and still with no explanation of what the heck that was all about, Helena is dropped of at one of her safe-houses in Chicago while Karen heads off to New York.

Her plan? Eat all of the pizza. Since Chicago style is superiour to New York in every way.

Her plan? Eat all of the pizza. Since Chicago style is superiour to New York in every way.

Actually, in addition to eating all of the amazing regional food, Helena has swiped some kind of records from Ken’s base in Gamorra, and she’s intent on proving that she was right, that that was not their Kal and so not their Earth.

She seems to get her smoking gun, too, noticing something off in the background of a surveillance tape with a significantly less Darkseid-y-influenced-looking Clark than the one that they were just exposed to. Something in the background catches her eye.

And her father would always tell her that coincidences are... Wait, I forgot it. Something about overlooking coincidences being, like, and bad thing or whatever.

And her father would always tell her that coincidences are… Wait, I forgot it. Something about overlooking coincidences being, like, and bad thing or whatever.

Meanwhile, in New York City, Karen has just completed the process of getting StarrWare back under her control and in her ownership.

Make them dollahs!

Make them dollahs!

Her legal team has made a killing and her assets are impressive still, but she gives them a surprise order, apparently giving absolutely zero fucks anymore.

MAKE THAT MONEY, GIRL.

MAKE THAT MONEY, GIRL.

Karen flies back to Chicago to meet up with Helena again, and the Huntress bluntly admits being wrong to her friend. There is no embarrassment or blame taken or thrown around, just acceptance and moving on to the planning stage.

Although, I don't know that TWO points of coincidence are enough when you're talking about a potential infinity of minutely different worlds.

Although, I don’t know that TWO points of coincidence are enough when you’re talking about a potential infinity of minutely different worlds.

So, since that was their Kal, though, and Karen was right, and now they’re going to have a bajillion dollars to finance their efforts?

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

So, I’ll admit, that wasn’t where I had initially thought that this series was going to go. I figured it was going to be about two people struggling to find their place in a world so similar to the one that they painfully lost, all while dealing with doppelgangers of their loved ones and even of their selves, and that would pretty much be it. Now, I do still think that that’s the overall direction of the series. I think that their efforts to get back to Earth 2 will fail… After a point.

I think that they will make it back home. Briefly, but I think that they will. And then some shit will happen that results in them having to be expelled from Earth 2 or just having to come back to Earth Prime.

Or maybe they’ll end up doing a kind of a Sliders thing, and the Multi-Verse could open back up because of all of their efforts.

Ooh… That would actually be really awesome.

http://drewpan.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/sliders.jpg

Take notes, DC!

Either way, I do want them to get back home, at least for a bit, and if for no other reason than the fact that it’d be interesting to see how Karen deals with an evil Kal and a dead Lois reconstituted in the body of a fembot Red Tornado.

Of course, Helena kind of gets shafted in this deal…

But it should be an interesting read if I’m right.

And then there’s that whole flashback sequence there and its subject. Perhaps that’s a Huntress from a different world? A Bizzaro Helena?

Either way, we’ll be checking back in with the World’s Finest.

What are your thoughts on the direction of the series? Where will the girls’ efforts finally take them? Be sure to leave your ideas in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

New 52 Comic Review – “World’s Finest” #21

Picking up where last issue left off, this Earth’s evil Ken has opened a portal which supposedly leads to Earth 2, home for Karen and Helena.

And the whole place kind of looks like it's on fire.

And the whole place kind of looks like it’s on fire.

 

Karen is none too pleased with the idea that this Ken is kind of a douchebag, and physically attacks him while sprouting… I wanna say bad poetry, maybe?

"My lovely Ken." Sounds weird, no?

“My lovely Ken.” Sounds weird, no?

  Read the rest of this entry

New 52 Comic Review – World’s Finest Annual #1

OR, "The Adventures of Robin and Supergirl!"

OR, “The Adventures of Robin and Supergirl!”

In this Annual, we get a glimpse into Karen and Helena’s lives back on Earth 2!

The issue opens up with Batman and Robin (remember, it’s Helena here) crashing through a ginormous window of a brothel operating in the heart of downtown Gotham. How this is a surprise when the window is literally an entire wall of the room and the room is full of prostitutes, I have no idea, but I guess they needed to have something for the heroes to leap through. The two of them make short work of the… Everyone in the room.

Apparently, Helena's upbringing was SUPER sheltered, and, also apparently, Selena is dead.

Apparently, Helena’s upbringing was SUPER sheltered, and, also apparently, Selena is dead.

Helena calls Batman “Dad” and he scolds her for her inexperienced mistake, even as he leaves her alone to further investigate the brothel alone. Probably trolling, because, let’s be for realsies here. While alone in the main hall, Robin spots and stops a last woman as she flees, telling her that it’ll be alright. But this girl is in cahoots with one of the thugs who runs the joint, and the two make off after knocking Robin out, briefly.

Heehee. "The Bolthole."

Heehee. “The Bolthole.”

Turns out, Batman didn’t actually leave her completely alone, and is instead observing her at a distance as she stalks through the brothel to bust whoremongers in different rooms, thus further proving that Batman is a super creepster. Helena takes out these goons more easily this time as she startles them and uses the element of surprise to disarm them via… Throwing knives RIGHT through the fucking hands. But, she does make short work of them, even as Batman internally criticizes her for a possible carelessness while simultaneously praising her mercilessness.

Haha, is that a cunnilingus joke--? Oh, wait. Holy balls, did she kill these guys?!?!?!

Haha, is that a cunnilingus joke–? Oh, wait. Holy balls, did she kill these guys?!?!?!

This part of the comic ends with Batman spotting Robin trying to force a girl to accept her help, and Batman says that that’s a job for the police and their future caseworkers, and that her next lesson is going to be about “The Stockholm Syndrom.”

Really, Batman? Are you that dad that called everything "The" something?

Really, Batman? Are you that dad that called everything “The” something?

A quick note to the writers: This kind of thing doesn’t usually happen because of “The Stockholm Syndrome,” if this was a sex trafficking operation. It’s usually because their captors get them hooked on drugs, so these bitches physically can’t leave. So… Keep that in mind for next time.

ANYWHO.

The next “Chapter” of this annual centres on Karen, as she writes in her diary about a huge mistake that she’s made. She recently snuck away to go to a bar in New York City, specifically, to be able to blend in so that she could practice flirting with guys.

Who wrote this drivel?

Who wrote this drivel?

She finally meets the right guy and they hit it off. Their conversation flows perfectly, they’re mutually attracted to each other, and they feel like they can open up to each other. The guy, “Ken,” reveals that he’s only in town for the duration of a “Worldgov” conference and will be going home the next day. She in turn, is about to tell him some big secret (gee, I wonder what it could be), when– .

Saved by the BOOM.

Saved by the BOOM.

She suits up, Kal’s “Secret Weapon” policy be damned, and rushes off to help. She saves who she can, she catches giant chunks of rubble from mid-air, she sees a woman fleeing the scene, but it too busy rescuing bitches to catch her, but shit keeps exploding, even as she accelerates. Ken rushes into the bathroom where he had told her to hide, but another explosion rocks the building. She calls out to him, saying that he shouldn’t go in, she’s not inside, but she is too late.

And, of course, cue the same old fucking "Crisis on Infinite Earths" Pietà that DC loves to reuse.

And, of course, cue the same old fucking “Crisis on Infinite Earths” Pietà that DC loves to reuse.

So, the thing that Karen is writing about in her diary is the fact that her disobeying Kal’s orders resulted in this boy dying. Hardly seems trivial. So, her current attitude of rowdiness and recklessness means… That she doesn’t learn lessons. Huh.

End Chapter Two.

Chapter Three is the final part, called “Three of a Kind?” with the Question Mark and everything. It looks like Karen went immediately over to her bestie, Helena, after Ken’s death. Karen laments his death, but the wording is kind of awful. More like she got dumped by a douchebag than a person losing his life.

See what I mean?

See what I mean?

So, Karen mentions the escapee and Helena latches right on to it, shifting into detective mode. Apparently, the culprit stood out… Because she was a Super. The two of them head back towards the scene, this time in costume.  And even though Karen’s still supposed to be keeping it on the down low.

Okay, so seriously. Bitch don't learn no lessons.

Okay, so seriously. Bitch don’t learn no lessons.

On the next page, we see Batman and Superman discussing the girls’ attitudes, and the impending arrival and subsequent attack of Apokolips. AND They have this fucking conversation is front of a large, open window, because, apparently, windows aren’t actually see-through on Earth 2. I mean, really, first the brothel, now fucking BATMAN?

And maybe a nod to the pre New 52 Kara spending time on Themyscira with the Amazons?

And maybe a nod to the pre New 52 Kara spending time on Themyscira with the Amazons?

Back at the scene of the blast, Karen uses her microscopic and different frequencies of vision to examine bits of tech and trace amounts of energy left in the area. They deduce that it’s not native to Earth, and that bits of it may very well be Apokolips technology in origin but, before they can reach any sort of conclusion, they are attacked.

And, seriously, I love Robin's "HO, FUCK, THAT WAS ALMOST ME" expression here.

And, seriously, I love Robin’s “HO, FUCK, THAT WAS ALMOST ME” expression here.

The two battle and they seem to be a pretty even match, but the collateral damage of their fight leaves Robin under some rubble, and so Karen goes to save her. The mystery bitch escapes in the meantime.

Because, really.

Because, really.

We go back to the Batcave for a moment. Basically, Batman knows who the bomber was and was worried about her complicating matters.

So, the kids go on ahead and trace the villain by a radioactive signature, which is probably not a good idea for Robin, both because of her vulnerability and her VULNERABILITY.

AGAIN.

AGAIN.

Karen takes a swing at the exact moment that Robin chucks an anti-Parademon grenade at the villain, now called “Fury” (hello, again, ties to Apokolips?) but the former is stopped from finishing her off by the appearance of Wonder Woman.

Who, on the next page, Supergirl promptly takes a swing at.

Who, on the next page, Supergirl promptly takes a swing at.

While they fight, Fury escapes via poorly rendered BOOM Tube.

Because that's what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME THE HEROES FIGHT EACH OTHER. WHY DOES NO ONE LEARN THINGS?

Because that’s what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME THE HEROES FIGHT EACH OTHER. WHY DOES NO ONE LEARN THINGS?

Also, there’s no real reason to include this next panel except that it really and truly bothers me.

Hades' Realm?! IT'S CALLED HADES. Oh, you ignorant mother-fuckers...

Hades’ Realm?! IT’S CALLED HADES. Oh, you ignorant mother-fuckers…

Robin comes back to the still squared-off Supergirl and Wonder Woman, saying that Fury escaped through a portal, like a hole in the universe. Wonder Woman immediately asks if the killer is alright. When Robin asks why she should care, Wonder Woman reveals…

Maury Povich, eat your heart out.

Maury Povich, eat your heart out.

So… Okay. Looks like we get a little bit of a look into the characters before the events of the Earth 2 comic book series, but I don’t think that it really amounted to much. I mean, we didn’t really learn anything new about the girls or their relationships to their father figures. Mostly, it seemed like a set-up to bring in another villain (Fury) down the road.

And, ultimately, I suppose that this issue is supposed to lead us further into the next story arc, the one that I’ve been looking forward to, where the girls finally meet face to face with the Superman and Batman of Earth Prime.

Let’s hope it comes out awesome.

Because I’m dropping some books. But, more on that next time.

Deuces.

 

 

Comic Review – World’s Finest #19

Whoo.

Okay, you guys.

I have really high hopes going into this issue.

They ain't kidding. FINALLY.

They ain’t kidding. FINALLY.

Let’s just jump right in.

PG is deep in the waters off the coast of Namibia, mining the ocean floor for diamonds and antagonizing local animal life. As she flings an overly familiar giant squid out of the water and over a fishing boat full of awfully light-skinned folks, she muses that she can sell the diamonds to get some quick cash.

I bet this WILL disturb their catch. There does their livelihood. I guess it's back to piracy for them.

I bet this WILL disturb their catch. There does their livelihood. I guess it’s back to piracy for them.

She shoots out of the water when she’s collecting a few thousand karats, giving the fishermen a pretty good look at her as she goes.

Well, at least it's going towards a good cause.

Well, at least it’s going towards a good cause.

The next scene is New York, where, Karen and Helena are discussing their legal troubles over breakfast in their hotel room, and Karen assures her that, if nothing else, at least her powers aren’t still on the fritz!

Why she needs to awkwardly tug at her uniform I have no idea.

Why she needs to awkwardly tug at her uniform I have no idea.

She plans to fly Hel around the park, but, of course, her powers decide to take that moment to cut out on her, sending both of them, now powerless, crashing to the ground through tree limbs and shit.

Limbs and boobs flailing to no avail!

Limbs and boobs flailing to no avail!

Naturally, they both survive unscathed, aside from some testy remarks by Helena. In the next shot, Karen is having a board meeting and getting cheesed off. This sets off her heat vision, setting fire to random shit but, luckily again, not injuring or killing anybody.

HOW COULD HE NOT?!

HOW COULD HE NOT?! IT’S COMING FROM HER FUCKING FACE!

While Karen’s face explodes all over her company, Helena thinks that she’ll have to take her friend’s well-being into her own hands and go to her not-dad for help.

Vigilantism AND carbs? Jealous.

Vigilantism AND carbs? Jealous.

Karen, meanwhile, realizes that shit is not getting any better, and we can infer that she’s resigned herself to asking Superman for help.

Context clues, yo.

Context clues, yo.

Helena creeps around stately Wayne Manor, thinking about the best way to get in to talk to her pseudo-pops. She resigns herself to going in through the Batcave.

I mean, she IS in costume already.

I mean, she IS in costume already.

Batman, meanwhile, is being a creepster and stalking her right back, even making it easier on her to break in.

Creepy and cocky. Every girl's dream.

Creepy and cocky. Every girl’s dream.

Helena scopes out the cave, finding it different than her home, and remembering the difference in age between her dad and this Batman, calling him a near Rookie. He sneaks up on her, y’know, like ya do, and she trains her crossbow on him, because of reasons. She immediately lowers it, apologizing for the break-in, saying that she needs his help. He promptly traps her in some kind of scifi light-construct cage thing, demanding answers, and she very calmly responds…

Because, let's face it, she was probably expecting this kind of shit. Fuck, dude, imagine THAT childhood.

Because, let’s face it, she was probably expecting this kind of shit. Fuck, dude, imagine THAT childhood.

Sooo… Between giant squids, board meetings, and croissants… THIS ISSUE WAS ANOTHER FILLER ISSUE.

SON OF A BITCH.

I guess, if I want to see anything interesting happen in this comic, I have to buy Batman/Superman, too!

Which means that nothing interesting is still happening in this actual fucking comic book series.

FanTAStic.

I feel like I’m being trolled by DC Comics.

SIGH.

See you all in another series…