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Comic Review – Batgirl #26

This issue wraps up the “Batgirl: Wanted” arc. Going in, I was anxious, hoping that Commissioner Gordon would finally find out his daughter’s secret. The mixture of emotions should be powerful, between pride and anger and confusion and sorrow, since his daughter was a hero to all of Gotham… At least until she seemingly killed James Gordon Jr. Of course, in comics, we know that a body unrecovered is a character still alive, but I digress…

The minions of Bitchface McGee Knightfall are still mid-murder of Commissioner Gordon. They’ve got Meta-Humans in their ranks and Grotesque has a pair of bolt cutters hovering around Jim’s pinky finger. But just as they’re about to start a-choppin’, Batgirl bursts through the front window on her motor cycle.

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Severe property damage. Because your Dad wasn’t mad enough at you for killing your brother…

Babs crashes her bike into Bonebreaker, chucks some Batarangs at Gretel, and makes to escape with the Commish, when this Mirror shows up, claiming that they’re “on the list” because they’ve “both cheated death.” Whatevs. Batgirl chucks another Batarang at his face (because she didn’t learn a lesson the last time she threw a Batarang at some bitch), knocking him off kilter and giving her and Gordon Sr. the time they need to literally trap themselves in the fucking basement. While they, argue, though, Bonebreaker calls Knightfall to tattle on Batgirl…

Those are the bloodiest Batarangs ever. Bitch might have Hep C. You don't know...

Those are the bloodiest Batarangs ever. Bitch might have Hep C. You don’t know…

This is actually a pretty good idea. Too bad it doesn’t seem likely to happen, especially as Knightfall tells the terrifyingly named “Michael” to burn the whole house down with everyone (EVERYONE) inside if her thugs screw up the hit. Waiting in the lamest ambush ever, at the top of the stairs to the basement, Bonebreaker and the others try to coax Batgirl out of hiding, promising not to fight and to give her hugs and candies and a nice cup of hot cocoa, maybe a blanket while they just go on ahead and murder her father. She, of course, is not terribly fond of this idea.

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Standard serious Bat-face, where all features disappear but them eyes just glow in the dark.

Batgirl is able to fight off the Knightfall minions by using their numbers and strength against them by fighting them in a tiny little hallway which didn’t look all that tiny when she and her dad walked through it a few pages earlier. Downstairs, the Commissioner takes out Michael as he tries to sneak in (BY TALKING LOUDLY ON HIS CELL PHONE) and start burning shit up.

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How’s he gonna tell Knightfall anything if he’s knocked out, dumbass?

Gordon passes up his gun in favour of activating an adorable little small scale Bat Signal. Seeing that half of their crew is no loonger in fighting shape, plus given that Gotham PD and the Bat Family are all likely on their way, Bonebreaker and Company sluggishly pick themselves up and head out through that gaping hole that Babs put in the house, and… Batgirl just lets them go. Like, seriously, she actually just lets them walk away.

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Psst… I think she likes you.

It is at this point, after the imminent threat has past, Jim Gordon pulls out his service pistol and points it at the back of her head. She challenges him as a police officer, saying that she acted the only way that she could, and he admits that he knew what kind of actual fucking psycho

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And here comes the moment that I’ve been waiting for– !

MOTHER FUCKER.

MOTHER FUCKER.

Mother. FUCKER. She resigns herself to revealing her secret and he LOOKS AWAY. Not even catching shit in his peripherals. I mean, should I really be surprised? He hasn’t been able to identify his own daughter for years despite the fact that most of her face is actually visible, her distinguishing and highly recessive trait red hair has been showing for all of this time, and, y’know, he has actually met his daughter before… But I was really hoping that this was going to be the moment. An arc that spanned several issues, culminating in very little, especially as Ricky even survives his ordeal and wakes back up by the end of this issue.

I have completely forgotten how Barbara even ended up dating this dude, anyways...

I have completely forgotten how Barbara even ended up dating this dude, anyways…

Of course, none of this is the big reveal of this issue…

DUN Dun snoooooooz...

DUN Dun snoooooooz…

BIG FUCKING SURPRISE. Did I call it? Because, yes, I called the fuck out of it. In fact, the panel is so understated and the moment so fleeting, I’d think that writer Gail Simone just fucking expected us all to come to this conclusion readily.

Yes, James Gordon Jr. is back to be a psychopathic murderer another day, this time with an eyepatch! THIS is most likely why Jim Sr. couldn’t find out about his daughter’s secret identity right now; they’ve got to have more family drama to play up when James Jr. comes back into the light and they realize that he’s alive… Likely after he manipulates a bunch of crap in the shadows to ruin Jim Sr. and Barbara’s lives as much as possible in the meantime.

Next issue ties into “Gothtopia” and what the fuck is that?! Find out with us when I review Batgirl #27 in a month!

Thanks for reading!

Comic Review – World’s Finest #18

Alright, bitches, let’s try to do this thing more often…

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OMG The cover clearly states– ! Oh, wait, never mind. Nuclear Schmuclear.

Picking up from where last issue left off, Karen’s powers have gone haywire after an attempt to recharge her powers by chillin’ in front of the sun results in her being too charged up when her powers kick back in (because that’s what’s been happening this whole time and HOW COULD SHE THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA I THOUGHT YOUR WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART KAREN), and Helena’s solution is to tie PG’s ankles to a tug boat because her lack of leverage during flight (<- How do they catch airplanes when flying and shit, then?) will enable to boat to be strong enough to drag her down AND NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

WHY?! Why did you think this was a good idea?!?!

WHY?! Why did you think this was a good idea?!?!

The Tattooed Lady, who is referred to as “Tats” because, y’know, bad writing, is begging a servant of a demon statue guy named Xazdi to remove her powers so that she can become normal again, but he basically says, “Naw, bitch,” and it’s all the pep talk she needs!

 

It's kind of "Be careful what you wish for" but with more idiocy and self satisfaction.

It’s kind of “Be careful what you wish for” but with more idiocy and self satisfaction.

Back in some apartment in Manhattan, Helena and Karen muse on whether the people they lost on Earth 2 still live on as doppelgangers on this planet. Helena is dismissive of the notion, not too keen on opening herself up for fear of losing them again (and also because that’s why EVERYONE is closed off in fiction, nowadays) and Karen is still enamoured of the idea of not just their loved ones but also colleagues, teachers, even ex-boyfriends just living their lives, untouched by the horrors of Apokalips. Helena derails that train of through by reminding her that they still have to find the murderous Tits Tats. The friends place a friendly wager on who can find their villain first. Karen figures that super-speed and x-ray vision will do the trick, but Helena’s too lazy to put on pant and resorts to the Interwebs.

I don't think that's how Google StreetView works...

I don’t think that’s how Google StreetView works…

Hel finds her first and apparently fucking teleports to Brooklyn to catch Tats. She takes her down, ties her up, and then seems to forget that she’s dealing with a Meta-Human here as Tats is able to activate her, well, her Tats. She frees herself and runs to her demon statue and, when Helena rushes in after her, the statue comes to life (like ya do) and strangles Huntress. Luckily, Power Girl bursts in to save her, claiming that she never actually went to look for Tats, opting instead to follow Helena and cheat off of her work like the slow kid in middle school.

Boobs. Everywhere. As far as the eye can see.

Boobs. Everywhere. As far as the eye can see.

Karen ties the inky tattoos up but her powers fade right after she talks some shit. Her brilliant solution? Take Huntress’s crossbow and fire it at the creature’s heart which she assumes is going to be in the same place as a human’s… And… The demon blows up?!

Um.... Yeah, girl.

Um…. Yeah, girl.

The issue closes on the two of them eating a meal that Helena bought, despite the fact that she one their earlier wager, because… I dunno, because Karen is kind of a brat? The two discuss Karen’s powers situation and what they can do about it…

Ooh, subtle...

Ooh, subtle…

When “World’s Finest” first released, it was one of my favourite books. I really enjoyed how the two friends played off of each other, how we got to see glimpses of their lives back on Earth 2 (and their first Annual is coming out next month, featuring Supergirl and Robin of Earth 2, so that should be cool), how they’re acclimating to life on Earth Prime… But the excitement quickly fizzled as the storyline following Desaad kind of went nowhere, the Darkseid connection left hanging, and then spending issues following uninteresting and ultimately not terribly formidable adversaries. This “Tats” chick and her arc?

RHAAAAAR!

RHAAAAAR!

I just don’t care. Like, at all.

So, since next month starts the crossover between World’s Finest and Batman/Superman, I’m hoping to finally give a fuck again.

 

See you next week, True Believers.