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TWD S5E9 – “What Happened and What’s Going On”

The season resumes! And I’m still not upset that Beth died. I mean, I’m bummed for Maggie, but…

Zero fucks.

Zero fucks.

Well, the episode opens with a montage that includes the gang leaving Grady, burying Beth, and places that have fallen (Woodbury and the prison) as they decide to pursue what would have been Beth and… What’s His Name’s plans. We also get a glance back at the girls that Carol had to kill, and I think the show has shifted from killing every black character to killing every little blonde girl…

But wait… I don’t remember any of these flashbacks…

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 TWD S5E8 – “Coda”

Mid-Season finale. Let’s just jump right on in.

Notice the photo of Evil Bob and son on the dash? Pretty sure Rick saw it, too. Also pretty sure he doesn't give a fuck.

Notice the photo of Evil Bob and son on the dash? Pretty sure Rick saw it, too. Also pretty sure he doesn’t give a fuck.

Evil Bob is on the run, being hunted by walkers and Rick in a squadcar alike, but not for long as Rick runs the motherfucker down. Evil Bob asks for help as Rick gets out of the car, saying that he thinks his back is broken, like that wasn’t Rick’s idea. Like Rick wasn’t trying to kill him to keep him from escaping and doing who knows what with the knowledge of Rick’s groups whereabouts/plans. Evil Bob asks to be taken back to the hospital, saying that he had done that for one of his, but Rick says you can’t go back. A possible reference to Morgan..? Well, either way, rick puts a bullet in his head, so… Whomp whomp.

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The Walking Dead S5E7 – “Crossed”

We open on Sasha Fierce– a fierce Sasha axing a pew. The others are also taking apart the church, picking parts of the interior apart to fortify the exterior. Rick, Daryl, Sasha, Tyreese, and Noah head off to Atlanta to bring back Carol, leaving Michonne, Carl, Li’l Asskicker, and the Priest to hold down the fort, even as the latter is having a hard time with the shambles of his now blood-splattered church.

"God's gonna be pissed when He sees how they've trashed His place..."

“God’s gonna be pissed when He sees how they’ve trashed His place…”

Probably should’ve gotten that blood out right away if you didn’t want it to soak into he wood, bro…

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The Walking Dead S5E6 – “Consumed”

In this episode, we’re actually going back in time, seeing Carol and Daryl’s adventure chasing after Beth’s kidnappers, and finding out just how Carol ended up in the hospital.

<3

And, actually, the episode starts out even further back, in the moment just after Rick has “banished” her from the prison at the beginning of last season. Solo Carol takes a second to cry, and then seems to just get on with living, finding a safe haven and setting up a living space, until she sees plumes of smoke coming from the direction of the prison. She heads off towards the scene, and we see fire reflected in the windshield.

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TWD S5E4 – “Slabtown” Recap

Well, we haven’t seen Beth for a while, so I suppose it’s only fair that we get a Beth-heavy episode in repayment.

It's the Beth show! All Beth, every Beth! Starring... Beth!

It’s the Beth show! All Beth, every Beth! Starring… Beth!

The episode opens with her waking up in a sparse room at Grady Memorial Hospital, quickly getting up to look out over Atlanta, being confronted by a police officer and a doctor, who both look very well put together for everything that everyone ELSE we’ve seen has been through. They tell her that they found Beth at the side of the road, alone, and that, had they not brought her in, she’d be a “rotter” right now… So she “owes” them.

The doctor takes her on a little tour of the patients, flatlining a guy who he says has shown no sign of improvement. He flips off the man’s equipment and stabs him in the head once he’s flatlined, and she accompanies him to their body-disposal system, which looks like just dumping them down an elevator shaft.

Beth goes to get the doctor a meal, and is asked by a man if she remembers him. She says that she was fighting a walker and then everything went black. “One was high on your thighs but I got there first.” Ugh. Enter creepy officer Gorman.

The doctor’s office is peaceful if a little cluttered, and he’s living the good life eating guinea pig and listening to music and admiring a painting he saved from the garbage. Beth comments on the record, saying that she still sings…

Because of course she does.

So. Much. BETH.

So. Much. BETH.

Later, the pseudo-police bring in a man who has fallen from a balcony while fighting off a walker, and they force the doctor to work on him, despite his warnings that this guy isn’t going to make it and it would be a tremendous waste of resources. The woman who brought the patient in doesn’t take the news well, turning to slap Beth so hard that it reopens the stitches on her cheek.

Because the mark of a hero is always taking your anger out, physically, on a smaller person who is recovering from various injuries.

Gorman and the first cop we see (Dawn) drag in a woman (Joan) they’d earlier said was missing, holding her down as they saw her arm off because he’s been bit. They force Beth to help.

We have battery packs and generators for all manner of equipment, but no fucking saws, guys.

We have battery packs and generators for all manner of equipment, but no fucking saws, guys.

Beth goes to get new scrubs and meets Noah, who tells her that he’s pretty sure that there’s no getting out of this place. He’s planning to get out of there, though, and go back to his walled home in Richmond, especially after the people in the hospital left his father to die.

So far, he's doing much better than that other kid from "Everybody Hates Chris," though.

So far, he’s doing much better than that other kid from “Everybody Hates Chris,” though.

Beth tells Dawn that she’s not planning on staying long, and Dawn very sweetly informs her that things aren’t bad where they are. That they’re doing good. Dawn is dedicated to keeping things going, and that they’ll be rescued someday. But until then, “If we take, we give back; it’s only fair.”

Thank you, comrade Dawn.

As Joan recovers from her hasty amputation, Beth mops and hums a little tune. Joan speaks to her very cryptically, giving Beth more reason to worry about being where she is. Like she needed more reason.

Then, back in her room, she looks for the lollipop that Noah snuck her only to find that Gorman has stolen it. He sucks on it a bit before forcing Beth to do the same, but his creepster tendencies are interrupted by the doctor.

Ew. You had garlic for lunch, didn't you?

Ew. You had garlic for lunch, didn’t you?

Gorman tries to intimidate him, but the doctor tells him that, someday, Gorman will need someone to help him once he gets sick or hurt or bit. Beth asks the doctor why he stays, and instead he takes her to the ground floor of the hospital, where walkers swarm on the other side of a gate. The doctor tells her that this is his reminder of why he stays whenever he thinks about leaving.

Dawn is hoping to save the human race here, with barely a better security system than a GameStop in a shopping mall..?

Dawn is hoping to save the human race here, with barely a better security system than a GameStop in a shopping mall..?

Then, on the roof, he tells her about when it started, how the had evacuated the hospital only for ever patient to be turned pretty readily. With pretty much only him and Dawn left, they had to get to a deal, wherein they’d use resources to help survivors recover, and the survivors would then work their debt off. Beth isn’t so convinced, but the doctor seems to really think that what they’ve got there, flawed as it may be, is still better than “out there.” He tells her to give a patient his medicine and call it a day…

But, when she does, the man has a seizure and dies. Dawn questions her about it, but Noah takes the fall, claiming to have unplugged the respirator while mopping. The doctor gave her the wrong drug name, and she tells him that, but he denies it pretty impassively, even as Dawn beats Noah in punishment. She also confronts Beth about it anyways, as she knew it was a lie. She tells Beth that everything is done or the greater good there. She says that Beth would either be dead or a burden outside of the hospital, citing her wrist scar as proof that Beth’s simply not meant for this world.

They're just a group of survivors trying to band together to make a go of it.

They’re just a group of survivors trying to band together to make a go of it.

Later, tending to Noah’s black eye, she tells him that she wants to escape with him. She steals an ID badge from a filing cabinet and a key from a locked desk drawer, and comes across Joan’s body, looking like she’s taken her own life, just as Gorman comes in. He tries to force her into having sex with him, but Beth’s virtue is saved by walker Joan biting a chunk of his throat out.

Hooray..? I mean, yeah, hooray, but… Blech.

On her way out, Beth tells Dawn that Gorman was looking for her in her office. Dawn thanks her, and we hear the sounds of screaming and moaning as she and Noah make a break for it dow the elevator shaft. Armed with Groan’s gun, a flashlight, and having used seven round of ammo before they rush out into the daylight. As Noah struggles to keep up with her, limping along, she is left to fend off the walkers herself… Using what looks like way more bullets than she should still have…

Because a few of the cops from within the hospital have arrived outside, firing into the group, and tackle her to the ground as Noah squeezes through the fence. There’s a moment’s hesitation on his face, but she smiles as he hobbles away.

Dawn confronts her back inside, and Beth tells her that Groman attacked her, and Joan, and that Dawn herself has let it happen. Dawn tells her that she’s trying to keep her officers happy so that they do a good job. Beth tells her that nobody’s coming… And Dawn doesn’t take it well, walloping Beth in the face. As the doctor looks her over, Beth accuses him of purposefully telling her to give the man from earlier the wrong medicine. He knew the man was a doctor, even knew him professionally, and that would have jeopardized his position in the hospital, since he’s the only doctor and he’s got t pretty good in there.

Beth… Well, apparently she gives zero fucks anymore. because she’s got something sharp in her hand and murder in her eyes as she comes up to the doctor. He’s saved by the arrival of a new persona on a gurney… A familiar face…

Carol!

Ah! Ah, no, not Carol! how did anyone even take her out? What, did they bazooka her int he face? Because we all know that nothing can actually kill Carol…

Seriously, after all the shit she's done, all that she's survived, the fucking fortresses she's stormed solo, WHAT could have taken her out?

Seriously, after all the shit she’s done, all that she’s survived, the fucking fortresses she’s stormed solo, WHAT could have taken her out?

Sigh…

Well, I guess it’s going to turn out to be Noah that Daryl dragged into the church at the end of last week’s episode…

Or maybe Morgan!

Here’s hoping for a baller reveal and, if we get another Beth episode before that, that there’s at least one full-blown musical number, complete with back-up dancing walkers.

Until then, this actually wasn’t a bad episode, and I do appreciate that, while it almost seems like the producers don’t know what to do with Beth (and haven’t for, like, two seasons), that doesn’t mean that they’re just going to kill her off because it’s easier. The last moment, when she finally grows a pair of lady-balls, made me actually respect her character a little bit more. Like, “Oh, there’s a reason she’s still on this show. Good for her.”

But, until next week, when it looks like we’ll be catching up with Ford, his lady-friend, that girl whose name I keep forgetting, Dr. Mullet, and (panic!) Glenn and Maggie. Fingers crossed that Dr. Mullet isn’t too much longer for their world!

 

 

TWD S5E3 – “Four Walls and a Roof”

Hoo-boy. These cannibals are spry, man.

 Rick eye-fucks the camera better...

Rick eye-fucks the camera better…

Must be something they’re eating…

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The Walking Recap – “TWD” S4E16 “A” (Season Finale)

The finale! The season finale! The one were everybody dies!

Maybe.

Oh, the anticipation.

So, rather than allow myself to spiral into despair before I even know anything, let’s take a look at what happened last night.

Alright, so this episode jumps around a lot in time, especially in the beginning, so let’s all try and keep track, okay?

The episode opens on a flashback. The gang is all at the prison, welcoming back Glenn, Maggie, and others from a supply run. Herschel (*SOB* HERSCHEL!) greets his eldest daughter with open arms and there are smiles all around.

You can't even see my face, but believe me, I'm distraught.

You can’t even see my face, but believe me, I’m distraught.

 

It’s a touching moment, even as prison folk are using crowbars and knives and sharpened sticks to kill the walkers at the gates. It serves to remind us of everything our heroes once had… Y’know, to really make those losses hit home.

Cut the the present, where we see Rick, alone, hands shaking, face drenched in blood.

It's where the flavour is.

It’s where the flavour is.

 

Kind of reminds me of Rapunzel.

https://i1.wp.com/25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll5631jZZ31qbdns9o1_1280.png

Good sir, that’s a lot of blood!

So, some shit has clearly gone down since we last saw him, smiling at the antics of Carl and Michonne.

Awesome.

The group is pretty much starving, having had very little to eat, even as Ranger Rick give us a nature lesson, and teaches all of us how to create a snare.

Like a little nod to the fans. "Pay attention. You're gonna need this when the ZA really happens."

Like a little nod to the fans. “Pay attention. You’re gonna need this when the ZA really happens.”

 

They caught a rabbit, but it’s a teensy weensy one, barely enough to feed one person, let alone the three of them. Suddenly, though, a man’s cry for help in a nearby clearing send Carl running to his rescue, because nobody has taught Carl to stay put EVER.

Anywho, it hardly matters as this poor MoFo is already outnumbered by a huge margin, and his shouting has attracted more walkers, and, more importantly, although Carl is already taking aim to help the dude out, Rick won’t let him, leaving the man to be eaten alive, face first and everything, so that they can mosey along down the tracks, slicing stray walkers to bits along the way.

Although, from this angle, doesn't it totally look like the guy has ample room to run?

Although, from this angle, doesn’t it totally look like the guy has ample room to run?

 

Cue another flashback. Herschel wakes Rick to give him a lesson, once that he won’t need his gun for, and one that will help him chill the fuck out.

But it does come with rising at dawn. Kind of a dealbreaker.

But it does come with rising at dawn. Kind of a dealbreaker.

 

Flash forward, and we see Carl sleeping in a broken down truck and Rick and Michonne having a campfire chat.

Damn lack of s'mores.

Damn lack of s’mores.

 

But the moment is ruined when Joe’s gang of bandits finally catches up to them.

Daryl shows himself, telling Joe that these are people he knows. That Rick is a good man.

Joe views that as a lie.

And we all know how Joe feels about liars.

And we all know how Joe feels about liars.

 

But the real problem here, even as Rick and Michonne are being held at gunpoint and the other gang members aim to beat our favourite redneck to death?

Well, the real problem is this guy.

Rule #1 of the ZA was from a couple episodes ago: Kill the sociopaths first. The new Rule #1? Kill the pedophiles. And that's not just a rule for the ZA.

Rule #1 of the ZA was from a couple episodes ago: Kill the sociopaths first. The new Rule #1? Kill the pedophiles. And that’s not just a rule for the ZA.

 

This… Does not sit well with Rick. He headbutts Joe and the two scuffle, Michonne and Daryl fednign off their respective attackers, as Carl desperately tries to escape this… Ugh.

It is a tremendous performance by Chandler Riggs, though. Probably the best he’s ever done. He’s terrified and desperate, and later, scared again.

Rick, with no weapons and having just gone off the deep end, finishes Joe off by ripping out his throat with his bare teeth.

According to actor Andrew Lincoln, they achieved this by using raw chicken. But you know what's not worth it? Salmonella.

According to actor Andrew Lincoln, they achieved this by using raw chicken. But you know what’s not worth it? Salmonella.

 

And then he finishes the pedophile off himself, gutting the man with his own knife, cutting him from stomach to sternum.

And making parents everywhere proud.

And making parents everywhere proud.

Meanwhile, Michonne, because she’s the best, holds Carl close, both to comfort him and to shield him from what his father is doing.

She's covering his ears and everything! But Carl still sees what happens because Rick stabs this guy for a solid minute before it cuts to commercial.

She’s covering his ears and everything! But Carl still sees what happens because Rick stabs this guy for a solid minute before it cuts to commercial.

 

Now, we’ve caught up to that shot in the stinger, before the credits, where Rick sits against the car.Daryl joins him and the two share “I love you, man”‘s as Rick cleans himself up a bit.

"But soft, what light from yonder window breaks..?"

“But soft, what light from yonder window breaks..?”

Inside, Michonne tends to Carl, who hears everything his dad says.

Carl is shaken, but the point is that Rick will do anything to keep Carl safe.

Which, yeah, I think we've seen by now.

Which, yeah, I think we’ve seen by now.

They approach Terminus but, rather than head on through the front gate, they creep in through the woods to stake the place out before they make their move. We get a nice moment where Michonne reminds Carl that they’ve all done things, citing her loss of her child and letting her boyfriend and friend turn as her example. But Carl doesn’t have to be afraid of them.

Before hopping the fence, though, Rick buries their weapons cache, even checking his usual ginormous revolver for a semiautomatic something-or-another.A father has to keep his baby safe after all.

As a FB friend said, "Chekov's duffel bag."

As a FB friend said, “Chekov’s duffel bag.”

 

Once in the train yard, they come across a building with a woman narrating a script about the awesomeness of Terminus into a small radio broadcasting set-up, and a small group of people who are apparently making more signs to put up all around the everywhere.

Behold, the TWD props department.

Behold, the TWD props department.

 

So, Tasha Yar isn’t alone.

The group is greeted by a dude named… I forgot his name. But it was something old-world-y and unusual. The point is, weird name guy and his friend jovially tell them that their plan to scope the place out without being seen was a smart one, and he talks them into a quick search.

Motherfucker is way too smiley.

Motherfucker is way too smiley.

 

The Termites (yes, that’s what I’m calling them) take the group to go and grab a bite at Tasha Yar’s Neverending Barbecue (trademarked), only for things to… Uh… Devolve.

I guess not everybody likes a vinegar based barbecue sauce.

I guess not everybody likes a vinegar based barbecue sauce.

 

See, the problem is that Rick is a pretty observant guy. He sees a woman wearing a very familiar poncho. A man just lounging about in riot gear for some reason. And the smiley guy is sporting a pocket watch with tremendous sentimental value.

The other problem? They’re way the fuck outnumbered in Terminus.

After another commercial break, we get yet another flashback, this time showing a moment where, while poor, ill-fated Patrick plays with the world’s last Lego set, undeterred by the recommended age, Carl is more interested in taking apart his gun, cleaning it, putting it back together. Learning his weapon’s ins and outs.

Legit.

Legit.

 

Rick tells him to set his gun down and that he needs his help. And it’s the birth of farmer Rick.

Meanwhile, this Rick is a pretty far cry from that Rick.

A shootout and a chase seen ensue, with rooftop snipers doing the brunt of the shooting. If you watch closely, you will either come to the conclusion that the Termites are the worst shots ever, or Rick and the gang are being herded.

Y'know. Like cattle.

Y’know. Like cattle.

 

And we get our first glimpse into the source of the episode’s title.

"A."

“A.”

 

And here I was hoping it was a “Happy Days” reference.

https://i0.wp.com/static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Society/Pix/pictures/2010/1/6/1262780885770/Henry-Winkler-as-The-Fonz-001.jpg

 

Anywho, as they run through an area riddled with bullet holes, meaning this isn’t the first time the Termites have pulled this shit, Rick spots a pretty impressive pile of human bones, picked clean.

The group runs into a building with an open door, and inside are hundreds of lit candles and writing on the walls. “Never again. Never trust. We first always.”

Which, yes, is creepy and spooky, but it's mostly amazing because that's a lot of candles to just keep lit in an empty room and how the hell are they getting so many on supply runs anyways?!

Which, yes, is creepy and spooky, but it’s mostly amazing because that’s a lot of candles to just keep lit in an empty room and how the hell are they getting so many on supply runs anyways?!

 

But, my take on this is that they tried to be a haven, but somebody or some group betrayed them. So now, they are the betrayers, and they use their subterfuge to lure potential would-be betrayers into their trap and use them as a food source before they can event contemplate stealing supplies or murdering the Termites.

And the floor is covered in names, like a memorial.

And the floor is covered in names, like a memorial.

Or maybe I’m reading too much into this.

They’re rushed out into an open area, where they are quite thoroughly surrounded by at least a dozen Termites with machine guns.

 

twds4e16-29

Also interesting, just before getting to this point, they hear banging and people begging for help.

And guy whose name I can’t remember tells them to throw down their weapons and entre a nearby train car, or they’ll kill Carl.

The procession is drawn out, but the group, including Carl bringing up the rear, march into the car, labeled “A.”

There's that "A" again.

There’s that “A” again.

But guess who else is inside?

That’s right. EVERYBODY.

Everybody survived!

Hooray!

Hooray!

…Actually, it’s almost a let down. I mean, I love the cast to bits, but having everyone still pretty much accounted for (sorry Beth) takes away from anyone-could-go-at-any-moment charm of this show.

But it doesn’t matter what I think. It also doesn’t matter that they’re all trapped in a steel box with heavily armed cannibals just outside.

Because we get another flashback.

Whoop, there's Beth.

Whoop, there’s Beth.

 

Herschel tells Rick that it can be like this all the time. The kids are laughing. They’ve got food and safety. Rick tells him that it being like this now is enough.

And back in the present, in that probably foul-smelling train car that I’m sure is hot as balls in the Georgia heat, Rick tells them that the Termites are going to feel “pretty stupid” (meaning “pretty dead”) when they find out that “They’re screwing with the wrong people.”

And eye fucks the camera again.

And eye fucks the camera again.

And that’s the end of the season.

*Folds hands primly *

Wait.

WHAT?!

That’s how it ends? That’s how it ends! You spend half a season building up to Terminus, taking your own, sweet-ass time, killing more minors than walkers in the process, and you leave an entire season on a cliffhanger?!

Mother fucker.

Okay.

Well, I guess we’ll see what happens in 7 months.

(Good Lord, seven months?)

Alright! But we can still point out a couple of things.

There is a duffel bag in the woods that is full of all of the weapons.

Carol, who we know will do straight up anything for these people and not feel a lick of remorse about it, is still out there, along with Tyreese and Li’l Asskicker, who may end up being a valuable asset, since hopefully these people wouldn’t want to kill a baby, at least.

I'm hoping for this, guys. I really am.

I’m hoping for this, guys. I really am.

Also, let’s not forget Beth.

Oh, how could I ever forget Beth?

Well, she’s still out there and, despite the Interwebs claiming that Tasha Yar is wearing Beth’s sweater, I’m not convinced, and not only because they’re several sizes apart. She was abducted in a car, from outside of a funeral home that someone had been holing up in. The only cars we’ve seen at Terminus have been the burnt out, shot up ones. And why would a Termite be living in a funeral home outside of the supposed sanctuary, preparing bodies for burial rather than consumption.

Ooh. Maybe the culprit was a Terminus escapee! That would tie the storylines together neatly.

Or maybe Beth is going to find herself in the TWD spin-off the producers are planning. Because she’s the most interesting and essential character in the series. And a second group of survivors in Georgia as opposed to a completely different locale with all of it’s new dangers and possible safe zones would never be seen as redundant.

Okay, so maybe not.

The point is, everybody’s still either alive or at least not certainly dead (I’m looking at you, Beth!) since last episode. And we still have a man, a woman, a girl, and a baby out there, three of whom we know are still headed straight to Terminus.

My money’s on Judith.

Until next season!

 

 

TWD The Walking Recap – S4E13 “Alone”

Last night’s episode was pretty well tied together. I enjoyed it much more than last week’s (sorry Beth fans), and it actually featured two sets of survivors rather than solely on one group for the whole episode, so that’s a step in the right direction, in my opinion.

The episode opens, like so many have in the past, in the past. Bob Stookey is wandering alone and we see several simple yet dramatic shots of how he has survived by himself for so long.

Like this one:

Which really doesn't look all that stable, despite it resourcefulness.

Which really doesn’t look all that stable, despite it resourcefulness.

 

And this one:

Legit.

Legit.

 

Eventually, the roar of an obnoxiously loud motorcycle heralds the arrival of a redneck and his token Asian companion, and Glenn and Daryl ask Bob their “Three Questions,” ultimately bringing him into the group, as we all well know by now. Bob’s answers?

1.) He’s killed dozens of walkers.

2.) He’s killed one person.

3.) It’s because she asked him to.

Hm. Wonder if "she" is important to his past, or if we'll ever learn more about her.

Hm. Wonder if “she” is important to his past, or if we’ll ever learn more about her.

 

After the opening credits roll, we get a nice, spooky scene wherein present day Bob, Sasha, and MAggie are standing back-to-back-to-back, fending off walkers in a fog so dense that visibility is down to a mere one to two feet in front of them.

Why would you not just climb a tree when the fog rolls in and just wait for that shit to roll right back on out?!

Why would you not just climb a tree when the fog rolls in and just wait for that shit to roll right back on out?!

 

Every walker attack is sudden, and things don’t look so good when Bob appears to have been bitten. Sasha takes out the walker.

1 bullet.

1 bullet.

 

Then Maggie has a really tough time with one, and Sasha saves her.

2 bullets. Also, Lauren Cohan makes the BEST faces on this show. ALL of the teeth are bared ALWAYS.

2 bullets. Also, Lauren Cohan makes the BEST faces on this show. ALL of the teeth are bared ALWAYS.

 

Luckily, that’s the last of them, and the two gunshots didn’t attract more walkers, AND the walker that bit Bob bit him over the bandaged bullet wound, and his bandages are made of fucking Kevlar, and the man is fine, because there are three episodes left in the season, and they don’t want to murder everyone and ruin all of our lives just yet.

Sasha is super psyched that he’s not going to turn, hugs him, then pulls away when it hurts his shoulder, and they all share a happy little laugh because adrenaline is a funny thing.

Cut over to Daryl and Beth, where Daryl is actually making good on his promise from last episode (yawn) to teach her how to shoot a crossbow.

Legit.

Legit.

 

He’s also teaching her how to track, and she’s able to reason that it’s a walker, which they soon happen upon, and then she decides that the best way to kill it with a crossbow is to sneak up on it because distance weapons aren’t specifically used from afar and you need to be in close proximity.

Naturally, she twists her ankle by getting it caught in, like, a miniature bear trap our something, the walker hears, she hits it but in the jaw, and Daryl has to finish the thing off.

C'mon, Beth.

C’mon, Beth.

 

Back with Maggie, Sasha, and Bob, they debate getting moving, discover that they only have six bullets left, and find that their compass is broken. Bob backs up Sasha’s decision to stay put, and says that they’ll just have to keep an eye on the sun to maintain their bearings. In huge contrast to opening-scene Bob, he’s being extremely optimistic, and it’s noticeable as the women folk look none too pleased.

We catch up with Daryl and Beth again, as she limps along to a clearing where a small cemetery and funeral home a spread out. She asks to take a break, and he gallantly offers to give her a piggy back ride across the graveyard, and she’s not fooling anyone.

Come ON, Beth.

Come ON, Beth.

 

Also, I sure hope that that crossbow has a safety on it (even though I know Daryl would never use it), because he turns it to hang on his chest, and it could easily fire and hit either one or the both of them in the face if it’s jostled the wrong way.

Beth hopes that there are people in the funeral home, and Daryl promises to take care of them, to which she assures him that there are still good people left out there in this terrible, terrible world that they live in. He doubts that the good ones survive. On the way there, they pass by a tombstone which reads “Beloved Father,” and Beth has a moment, reaching to hold Daryl’s hand due to a lack of subtlety for emotional support.

Come on, BETH.

Come on, BETH.

 

Meanwhile, Sasha, Bob, and Maggie, come across a sign for Terminus, opening up another debate for their next course of action. Bob claims to have heard a broadcast about this on the radio, but it was unclear. Maggie immediately decides that they should head there, saying that Glenn would head there, looking for her looking for him looking for her looking for him.

I still don't know how to feel about this place.

I still don’t know how to feel about this place.

 

Sasha… Is not so enthused about the idea, having been expelled from the prison, accepted into Woodbury, fled from Woodbury, fought Woodbury twice, and forced to abandon the prison. So, proposed utopian sanctuary-ish places and promised aren’t sitting particularly well with her. Bob suggests that others could be there, including Tyreese, and Sasha just blows past that ray of hope, but realizes that she’s already been outnumbered.

Cue dramatic music... Furthering my inability to make an informed opinion about Terminus.

Cue dramatic music… Furthering my inability to make an informed opinion about Terminus.

 

Inside, they find the place very well-kept, meaning that there must still be someone there. They also find… what looks like a funeral in progress. A body lies in an open casket. Having no concept of propriety nor fucking hygeine, Daryl touches the face, leaving a scooped out hollow because the man has decomposed to the point of being comprised of 95% human pudding.

I'm not posting that DISGUSTING image here because I love all of you greatly. So, instead, here's a picture of a bunch of golden retriever puppies in a wicker basket!

I’m not posting that DISGUSTING image here because I love all of you greatly. So, instead, here’s a picture of a bunch of golden retriever puppies in a wicker basket!

 

In the basement, they find more bodies being prepped for burial, and Beth finds it kind of beautiful that whoever is living here is still trying to honour these people’s memories like this. Daryl just wants to bandage her stupid ankle. I don’t see any head wounds on these bodies. And it makes me really, really nervous.

Back in the woods, Sasha is having a real hard time opening a can with her hunting knife. She tries to convince Bob that they need to not go to Terminus, but instead to find a town and a building and set up shop there. Plus the fact that Glenn is likely dead already. Maggie is off getting firewood during their exchange. Bob tells her that she needs to face the real reason she wants to stop.

This whole scene, she does not get this can open.

The struggle is REAL.

The struggle is REAL.

 

In the funeral home, Beth and Daryl find a cupboard full of soda, peanut butter, jelly, and pigs feet. I’ve never seen Daryl happier.

You had me at pigs feet. Except for not really.

You had me at pigs feet. Except for not really.

 

They’re about to clear the place out, but Daryl says that they should just take some because the lack of dust means that someone was still here. Beth tells him that he’s the “good people left” that she was talking about earlier and Daryl, in true Daryl Dixon fashion, has no response to that. Instead, he proceeds to scoop out jelly with what I’m pretty sure was the same hand he scooped out that dude’s face with and I’m going to go ahead and throw up now.

Outside, he sets up their standard string of cans as a perimetre alarm. Inside, Beth hits the piano and starts to sing again.

COME ON, BETH.

COME ON, BETH.

 

And, yeah, that’s Daryl lying in the coffin because it’s the comfiest bed he’s ever laid in. And he stares at her thoughtfully when she’s not looking. And he seems to be having a minor internal struggle. And this show about walking dead people and this scene where he’s laying in an empty coffin in a funeral home wherein several bodies are in an advanced stage of decomposition, just got a little bit CREEPY.

The next morning, Sasha and Bob wake up to find a message written in the sand.

Because you should never talk about bitches behind their backs... Because they're almost always within earshot.

Because you should never talk about bitches behind their backs… Because they’re almost always within earshot.

 

On the road, Maggie is about to carve into one of the Terminus sign posts, but instead carves up a walker with a crazed look on her face.Why would she put her hands elbows deep into a walker’s guts? Well, a very smiley Bob and an incredulous Sasha come across the answer.

I mean, why dull the knife blade. Right?

I mean, why dull the knife blade. Right?

 

So, that’s awesome. Second time we’ve seen crazy-eyed Maggie since the mid-season premiere.

Also, she should work on her penmanship.

Daryl carries Beth to breakfast in the funeral home, just to make me uncomfortable.

And it's working. Guys... Please stop.

And it’s working. Guys… Please stop. Please. Oh, pretty, pretty please.

 

But before Daryl can sink into his beloved pigs feet, the cans rattle, alerting them to an intruder. Daryl goes to check it out.

FUN FACT: In real life, that dog lost it's eye while saving its owner from a carjacking, according to "Talking Dead." So, kudos to you, Dooley the dog!

FUN FACT: In real life, that dog lost it’s eye while saving its owner from a carjacking, according to “Talking Dead.” So, kudos to you, Dooley the dog!

 

Norman Reedus has probably never been happier to see a one-eyed dog, especially after eating that eel last week. The dog, meanwhile, bolts when he moves to pet it. Beth comes to what the matter was, and he gently chastises her for not listening, before suggesting that it might come back around. The go back to breakfast together and I DON’T LIKE IT.

That night, Bob and Sasha are camped out, trying to sleep despite the violently loud moans of a walker they think must be stuck on something nearby. Neither can sleep, and Bob starts the ask her the incredibly uncomfortable question of whether she’s too afraid to find out for sure if her brother is alive or dead. When he doesn’t answer, he tells her that he thought she was the toughest person he’d ever met, while simultaneously being the sweetest. She has no answer, for some reason forgoing the slap he kind of needs right now, and he settles back down to try and sleep again.

In the funeral home, Beth is drafting a thank you note, and Daryl tells her that maybe they ought to stay until the owner returns. That maybe they can coexist.

Huh.

Hopeful Daryl.

It’s weird. Sweet. But weird all the same.

Beth asks him what suddenly changed his mind about the presence of good people left, and he gives her fucking look, AND I DON’T LIKE IT.

Praise Jeebus, the moment is interrupted by rustling cans and the sound of a dog yelping. Daryl goes to give it a pig’s foot. Now, clearly, hopeful Daryl and this unholy thing that hopefully isn’t even a thing and I’m imagining it a-brewin’ between him and Beth is a bad thing, because the ever-vigilant redneck opens the door without looking, and it’s five billion zombies at the door.

A weird-ass fight scene ensues, where he of course tells Beth to run because even he knows she’s not about to be helpful while operating under the double whammy of A.) having a sprained ankle, and B.) still being Beth. Why is the scene awkward, though?

Well… See, every time that Daryl uses his crossbow as a club or fires it in close proximity it just bugs the hell out of me. You have one weapon, which is already a terrible way to operate, and you have a finite number of arrows, two of which broke last episode, and if you damage your crossbow, then fuck the whole damned thing. He first lures them deeper into the basement, where the bodies are still on gurneys and are apparently not going to rise and where he already knows he has no alternative escape, instead using an examination table as a two foot wide barricade and he uses scalpels to stab the walkers in the head, repeating the process once over after her crawls through their legs and escapes back up the stairs, retrieving only one of his arrows.

All in all a terrible series of terrible ideas. Culminating, by the way, in Beth’s disappearance. As a car speeds off. Because she’s being kidnapped, I guess. Because she’s Beth.

I CANNOT.

I CANNOT.

 

And one episode’s worth of character growth and the attempt to make her appear more competent has just been completely undone.

Daryl, meanwhile, chases after her on foot, because he’s part gazelle and he really thinks that he has a chance of catching her, calling her name all the time. He eventually stops and kneels, defeated, in the middle of the road, having lost the trail somehow.

Bob and Sasha approach a town and she finally decides that this whole sticking together thing is for chumps, and that she’s rather go full Morgan and go crazy in an abandoned building by herself for the rest of her life. Bob kisses her goodbye and heads off to find Maggie.

Because kissing her isn't enough to convince her that she doesn't have to go it alone. So, Bob you need to work on your game, chief.

Because kissing her isn’t enough to convince her that she doesn’t have to go it alone. So, Bob you need to work on your game, chief.

 

He heads further down the tracks and Sasha finds a nice brick building with a flat roof to go and cry in.

To quote Arrested Development, "I've made a terrible mistake."

To quote Arrested Development, “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

 

She quickly fucks shit up by accidentally breaking a window after seeing Maggie lying amongst a row of dead walkers, calling all of the still roaming zombies to their location.

She sprints out and the two of them tag team the mini hoarde.

Followed by a heart-to-heart.

Followed by a heart-to-heart.

 

Maggie tells Sasha that she was waiting for them, that she can’t go it alone, and that, yeah, she can ask them to risk their lives. Sasha admits her fears, and they head off to find Bob together.

Meanwhile, Daryle finds himself in a Mexican standoff as a group of ruffians who admittedly are ever-smitten with the idea of flat out murdering people find him and surrounds him. Their leader, Joe, laughs off a punch (never a good sign) and tells him that he’s been looking for a crossbow like that, and then talks Daryl into not pulling the trigger, since his boys will end him, too, right on the spot.

So, will Daryl end up going back to his old ways, mindlessly following what looks to be Merle 2.0? Or will he miraculously slaughter them all against all odds, like he always seems to do? Or will be backslide a little, but still try to advance as a character and fucking find Beth?

Probably that last one.

Ugh.

Ugh.

 

Sooo, there goes that whole “there are still good people out there” thing. Whomp whomp.

We catch up with Bob, walking down the tracks, stopping when his name is called and finding that the girls have also caught up with him. Hugs are exchanged, and the trio head on down the tracks.

Aww.

Aww.

The last shot is one of a Terminus sign and a mangled looking, armoured hand.

Guess who..?

Guess who..?

It pans out to reveal Glenn, disbelieving hope in his features.

It is!

It is!

 

So, naturally, I’m very excited about this whole thing! But, I’m also very nervous. Why, you ask?

Well, see, I’ve been a Glenn/Maggie supporter since they met, and I’ve been terrified ever since. Shows like The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones like to give you the feels before they completely destroy you by killing off your favourite characters. Last season, when Glenn ever so romantically went ring shopping for her and proposed and they got married-ish, I was afraid that one or the other of them was going to bite it. When certain casualties occurred in the comic, I got worried. This season, when Glenn got sick, I was concerned that they might pull a second Downton Abbey and kill off Maggie just because it looked like Glenn was going to die for a moment there.

And now, with them separated but still apparently heading to the same place, to this sanctuary and this promise of survival… I’m really worried that one or both of them won’t make it to the end of the season.

And that would be some bullshit. And I likely wouldn’t watch for much longer if that happened. I already gave zero fucks about Downton after the events of just-past-mid-season-3. I’m not above throwing in the towel for a series when the characters I’m most emotionally invested in get got.

So, because I really do enjoy this stupid show, though, let’s hope that it doesn’t come to that. The current cast is excellent. Yes, even Beth. I appreciate that the showrunners are giving her and Carol more of a presence this season, and that every character, really, is at least getting his or her moment.

So, what do we think will happen this season? Somebody’s not going to make it, and from next episode’s promo, it doesn’t look good for the Tyreese and Carol clan. I’m thinking something happens to one of those little girls. Or maybe Tyreese finally learns about what Carol’s done.

But, I believe that the majority of the group is going to make it to Terminus, and that their independent arrivals, or maybe just the first or the last group’s arrival, with close up the season, kind of on a happy note, but with an ominous feeling just to keep us on our toes. They’ll introduce the leader of Terminus, and in such a way that it leaves us all wondering as to whether he’s a truly benevolent figure, or he’s another Governor waiting to happen.

If we get a Glenn and Maggie reunion, chances are that Abraham will being needling them all towards Washington again.

But, with three episodes left until the finale, something heartbreaking and tragic has to happen, so one of these groups will face a loss. It may be Glenn or Maggie, but I’m hoping that the still fresh loss of Herschel will give the remaining Greene family members a bit of a reprieve. Sasha is now in an interesting place, relationship-wise, with ties to her brother and also to Bob now as a budding romantic interest, so she may be put into the middle of a difficult situation at some point. Plus, the series’ track record with black characters isn’t the best. If Carol’s actions are revealed, and she makes it to the finale, she may end up doing something heroic to redeem herself in the eyes of Tyreese, or to possibly give a last lesson about strength or some bullshit to the girls, so that’s a possibility. But it’s also a bit of a cliche.

Either way, I hope that the cast makes it through, picking up some redshirts on the way so that they’re the marks instead.

Or, really, I just hope that they stop giving Daryl superpowers just because he’s a fan favourite.

Because really.

Anywho, catch us next week for another installment of “The Walking Recap!”

See you there!

The Walking Recap – TWD S4E10 “Inmates”

Not a lot happened on last night’s episode and, at the same time, a whole fucking lot did.

So, let’s get right on down to it.

No Rick, Carl, or Michonne this episode. Instead, we focus on the other prison survivors (and some not-so-survivors, briefly). The episode opens with fan-favourite Daryl, currently traveling with Beth. Despite her attempts to desensitize herself to all of the everything earlier this season, she is super full of feelings in this episode. As Daryl broods, staring morosely into their campfire, Beth is trying to goad him into searching for the others. When he doesn’t respond, she tells him that she’s just going to go off and find them all herself.

That's emotional blackmail, Beth, you little punkass.

That’s emotional blackmail, Beth, you little punkass.

 

Daryl, of course, begrudgingly follows her. I kind of feel like he might be getting a little bit tired of this shit, the whole “hero” thing. Like, shit, it would’ve probably been way the fuck easier to just be a racist murderer/probably-also-a-rapist-because-let’s-be-serious-about-this-for-a-minute like Merle.

True stories of the universe.

True stories of the universe.

 

So, they head on out into the woods and Daryl uses his hunter/tracker skills to look for disturbances in the trees that are man-made. They come across some tiny little footprints, and Beth reasons that the kids must be alive. Daryl very practically tells her that it only means that they were alive four hours ago. She challenges him to a faith-off, and he reminds her that faith wasn’t terribly effective for her dad. She proceeds to give him “The Look.”

"Look out guys, here it comes!" Haha, remember "Home Improvement?"

“Look out guys, here it comes!” Haha, remember “Home Improvement?”

 

Uuuuuunfortunately, after a kind of very awkward walker fight, they come across more walkers, eating some poor bastard, and totally ignoring the two living folks coming up, none-too subtly behind them. Daryl makes short work of them, though, and they survey the remains strewn about the side of the tracks. And, even more unfortunately, Beth is a girl and recognizes the only piece of recognizable anything; a tiny little black shoe. So, one of the kids that ran off got got. And Beth starts to cry… Standing straight upright, arms at her side.

Kind of squeaking.

Kind of squeaking.

 

It’s awkward. Daryl thinks so, too, and starts to walk further down along the tracks, giving her a little, “C’mon, you can cry while you walk,” head nod. The next shot is her ripping up her diary for kindling in a campfire which is already going pretty strong, so it’s supposed to tug as your heart, especially, since she’s been narrating this whole time, all her hopes and dreams about how the prison is perfect and they’re all going to live, and her dad keeps giving her advice and comfort and blah blah blah, but, bitch, you ain’t gotta burn your diary yet. That’s wasteful.

Cut to the next little vignette, where we see the young sisters Lizzie and Mika stalking through the forest. Mika is a little ball of feelings, mostly sorrow and fear, and she complains that she wants Carol. Which, of course, we all kind of do. Because she was AMAZEBALLS in the first half of the season. Lizzie, ever the satanist pragmatist, tells her to stop crying and hands her a knife. Ahead of them walks Tyreese who, when he turns his back, we see is carrying Li’l Asskicker!

This brother got to protect three little blonde girls... Oh, Tyreese. Run. Run like you on fire.

This brother got to protect three little blonde girls… Oh, Tyreese. Run. Run like you on fire.

 

Lizzie asks him, flatly, if everybody else is dead. He doesn’t answer, and her own sister speeds up to walk with the older man and leaver her sister behind her a ways. Because of REASONS.

In the next shot, Tyreese busies himself by bandaging a wound on his arm, then feeding the baby as Judith starts to cry, which freaks out Mika. Where they got formula from, who the fuck knows. BUT, while they’re busy tending to the baby, Lizzie is where..? Oh, that’s right. MUTILATING A RABBIT FOR NO FUCKING REASON. Like, bitch, that’s food. Y’all could eat some rabbit right now. But you just want to take a knife to its twitchy little face and leave it inside out inside of a hollow tree trunk? Right. Okay. Remember this moment?

From the midseason finale, when she shot that bitch in the face?

From the midseason finale, when she shot that bitch in the face?

 

SHE SMIRKED AFTERWARDS. RIGHT after she kills a woman, she’s like, “Ha. Boom, bitch.”

In this scene, she proceeds to tell them that this crying baby is going to be a problem, but the sound effects of walkers set them back on the run before they can address the issue. Daylight come, and they change a diaper. Zee baby, she cries again. Tyreese can’t get her to calm down right away, so Mika thinks it’s a good idea to punish him by pinching his arm right where his bullet or whatever wound is. A rustling in the bushes right fucking next to them causes Tyreese to bust out the hammer (no Dr. Horrible jokes, please; he’s with children) but it turned out to be a bird. The bird’s escape frightens Mika, who randomly decides to bolt into the woods alone. They chase her tiny little ass down and she bashfully admits that she got scared.

He tells her not to be sorry... As Lizzie stares at them and imagines how she would look in a suit made of their skin.

He tells her not to be sorry… As Lizzie stares at them and imagines how she would look in a suit made of their skin.

 

He tells her that she did the right thing, that she should run if she sees a walker, but that she should stick to her group as long as she’s in one. She apologizes again, for not being like Lizzie and he tells her that it’s okay because it’d be bad if they were both psychotic they might be different but they both get things done. She likens it to him and his sister Sasha and Lizzie smugly tells her that she’s not like Sasha, because Sasha’s not here. Tyreese, clearly getting the insinuation that his little sister must be dead/is inferiour to these little girls, is saved from slapping a child on screen by the sound of a woman’s screams somewhere off in the woods.

Alright, Captain Save-A-Ho.

Alright, Captain Save-A-Ho.

 

He hands the baby off to the crazy sister and forces the girls to stand back-to-back so that they can see in every direction. Mika, in a moment of panic and damn good child acting skills, begs him not to go. He hands her a handgun and assures her that she’s tough enough to handle this. She’s left with a baby, her secretly sociopathic older sister, and the ominousness of the seemingly perpetual woods of Georgia.

And seriously, do we really think that this is a good idea?

Tyreese happens upon the people who were screaming, coincidentally the worlds worst survivors, using a baseball bat as a poking tool and a rifle as a defensive tool. He barrels in to help them, but all of them get bitten because they’re all terrible at this whole living thing.

IT'S HAMMER TIME!

IT’S HAMMER TIME!

In the woods behind him, the girls are being attacked by walkers, so Mika takes a shot. She misses, but it makes Tyreese turn towards the sound, just in time to see a walker that was sneaking up behind him. Lizzie, meanwhile, is precisely negative eight thousand percent helpful because this whole tile she’s been trying to get the baby to stop crying…

BY SMOTHERING HER.

BY SMOTHERING HER.

 

Moral of the story? In the Zombie Apocalypse, if you THINK someone is a crazy person, they ARE a crazy person.

Moral of the story? In the Zombie Apocalypse, if you THINK someone is a crazy person, they ARE a crazy person.

Tyreese finishes up with the walkers at the train tracks and turns at the sound of his name being called.

I actually shouted out loud at this part. I missed this bitch.

I actually shouted out loud at this part. I missed this bitch.

 

Carol is back, and has saved the girls, because she totally has not been stalking them this whole time at all. Tyreese’s expression is unreadable as he rushes towards her, and she looks a bit trepidatious as well.

"Whoa, fuck, okay. I guess he DOESN'T know that I killed his lover. AWESOME."

“Whoa, fuck, okay. I guess he DOESN’T know that I killed his lover. AWESOME.”

 

They turn their attention back to the last survivor from the group that got mauled, bleeding from a bite to his neck and pleading with them to stay on the tracks, to follow them towards a safe haven where they’ll be able to take the children. They nod and leave him to A.) weep over the corpses of his loved ones, B.) bemoan his impending doom, and C.) eventually turn, joining the throngs of walkers already out there when they could have easily even just addressed the whole, “Hey, would you rather we just put you down or what?” question.

One time-lapse later, they’re traveling down the road, baby Judith super psyched at having her primary caretaker back, and Mika proud of how she didn’t run from her sister. Tyreese affectionately ruffles her hair and they take a quick break to drink up some of Carol’s water and for her to visibly struggle with lying to Tyreese, taking advantage of the fact that he’s clearly ignorant of all of the goings on when it came to her character, and telling him that she hadn’t gotten back from the supply run with Rick yet, having opted to stay out and find more materials for the prison.

Up ahead, the girls, who have been walking with hands held (so at least Lizzie does seem to genuinely care about her little sister), find a sign post with writing on it:

“Sanctuary For All

Community for All

Those who Arrive

Survive”

And it’s called “Terminus,” which literally just means “End of the Rail Line,” and was an original name for Atlanta, but it’s still kind of an ominous name for a supposedly safe place. So that’s not creepy at all.

So, what are we thinking? Woodbury 2.0? Let's hope note. Because that's lazy writing if nothing else.

So, what are we thinking? Woodbury 2.0? Let’s hope note. Because that’s lazy writing if nothing else.

 

Cut to the next group of separated survivors, and we get a bit of banter between Sasha and Bob as she bandages the bullet wound in his shoulder. Maggie, meanwhile, is listlessly sharpening her knife on a river boulder and intermittently staring at her wedding ring.

Boy, is now really the time?

Boy, is now really the time?

Sasha approaches Maggie, telling her that their little rock in the middle of the stream has a good vantage point and will give them plenty of warning should walkers approach, so they ought to camp there for the night. Maggie is like, “‘Kay, y’all have fun, then,” and is ready to throw up deuces, intent on searching for Glenn. She says that she already couldn’t find Beth. I do not know, however, why she would specifically not be looking for the both of them at the same time.

Sasha insists that they not split up, but Maggie stalks off, intent on finding her husband, so Bob smugly tells her that they’ll have to follow Maggie, since splitting up is a bad idea. They walk along the road the bus was heading towards, talking about how unlikely it is for Glenn to have survived, and Maggie can totally hear them, since she can bee seen glancing back towards them from her short distance ahead. Soon enough, they stumble across the bus, stopped, sans any signs of life.

Whoop, okay, let's go back and make camp, guys.

Whoop, okay, let’s go back and make camp, guys.

 

For a moment, Maggie looks as though she’s going to crumble, but she steels herself and soldiers on. As they step closer, the folks inside lunge at them through the open and broken windows. They’re all walkers.

Extras. Whaddya gonna do?

Extras. Whaddya gonna do?

Maggie loses it a teensy bit again and makes for the emergency latch on the back of the bus. When Sasha and Bob move to stop her, she tells them that she still needs to see if Glenn is in there. If he’s one of them. So they opt to let walkers out one by one, and Maggie’s going to stab them in the head and keep her fingers crossed that none of them is Glenn.

Um... But windows are still a thing.

Um… But windows are still a thing.

 

This works for the first few walkers, but they all press against the door in an effort to progress the scene, causing Sasha and Bob to have to take them out. This works out great for Maggie because she has another freak-out, going semi-catatonic as she watches them pouring out from the bus, terrified that one of them might be the man that she loves. She wakes up once Bob shoots a walker that was just walking right up to her. Once the action dies down, Maggie whispers an apology and Sasha comments in a very “this is bullshit”-y tone that these people had gotten away. They’d escaped the prison and this should not have happened to them.

Maggie surveys the damage and briskly walks to the bus again, determined to search the interiour.

She's easily the best accessorized of the survivors. Her maroon shirt goes well with her red laces in her boots...

She’s easily the best accessorized of the survivors. Her maroon shirt goes well with her red laces in her boots…

 

The sound of flies buzzing and spooky music fading in greet her as she passes the rows of seat, covered in blood and in one case a good chuck of a human limb. On the floor, towards the front of the bus where she last saw him, a walker with a black shirt and shaggy black hair lies pinned, face down, under a girl with a bullet wound to the head. Maggie lifts the body from it and the thing scrambles to its feet, grabbing madly for her. She is able to stab it in the head quickly and with that Maggie Greene ferocity we’ve all come to know and love.

BOOM, bitch, get out the way.

BOOM, bitch, get out the way.

 

She stands for a moment, then collapses onto a bench.

This scene ends with some truly excellent crying/laughing/clearly losing a bit more sanity from Maggie.

This scene ends with some truly excellent crying/laughing/clearly losing a bit more sanity from Maggie.

Now, the last bit of this episode, we see Glenn. He’s not zombified. Rather, he’s just waking up to the dulcet tones of a hoard moaning below his perch and reaching for him. It’s the shot from the preview last week, and just guess where it turns out he is.

Didja guess?

Didja guess?

 

HE’S STILL AT THE PRISON!

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

 

Realizing that he’s been left behind, and that he’s surrounded by hundreds of walkers, he heads back into the prison to gear up, taking his rifle, his riot gear, a photo of Maggie (which he cries over briefly and that’s why we love him), a duffel bag full of supplies, and a bottle of liquor with him. This whole time, you can see that he’s still kind of feeling under the weather. His plan?

JUST FUCKING RUN HEADLONG INTO A HORDE. GLENN, I THOUGHT ASIAN PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART.

JUST FUCKING RUN HEADLONG INTO A HORDE. GLENN, I THOUGHT ASIAN PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART.

Yeah. That’s him with the orange-ish duffel bag on his back. Also, fun fact, that riot gear leaves his whole entire neck completely exposed. SOMEHOW, his scrawny Asian ass manages to escape sans bitemarks and the DP has set up this nifty little POV shot where we’re the ones looking through the riot helmet. Aaaaaand who do we see?!

Why are all of you people just hanging around here?

Why are all of you people just hanging around here?

Tara, the gung-ho girl from the Governor’s second group who panicked once she realised that she was one of the villains, is just chilling in a chainlink cage, staring at the ground. For a moment, Glenn looks like he’s going to leave her behind, but we all know that he would never, so he turns back and pep talks her into following him. They use the liquor bottle to make a Molotov Cocktail, cause a distraction, and book it right on out of there.

Sheath that knife, though, woman.

Sheath that knife, though, woman.

Once in the clear, they pass by that same sign warning about hitchhikers an that same fucking burned out car, so that means that Maggie and Glenn are really close by one another, and have literally just missed each other by a matter of hours, tops. JUST to fuck with me.

They're doing this shit on PURPOSE.

They’re doing this shit on PURPOSE.

Anywho, Glenn learns of Herschel’s death and it only serves to fuel his determination to find Maggie. He tells Tara that she’s going to help him, and that Herschel told him that all that he has to do is believe, so that’s what he plans to do. She says that she wants to believe, and he tells her that she has to, just as another swarm of zombies comes upon them.

They fight them off but Glenn passes out shortly thereafter, the strain apparently too much for him, since he’s still all flu-y about it.

Now is not nap time, Glenn!

Now is not nap time, Glenn!

 

One walker is still active, and Tara caves its head in with the butt of Glenn’s rifle, just as an armoured truck appears. Out of it steps…

This bitch with no pants?

This bitch with no pants?

 

Abraham Ford and his crew. Folks from the comics. So, fans of the comics are excited. I have no fucking clue who these people are. Par for the course, when it comes to TWD, especially since I refuse to read the comics.

SO! What have we learned from this week’s episode?

  • The crew are all still relatively close in proximity to one another, and they keep missing each other.
  • Daryl and Beth are traveling together and Daryl is going to keep that little girl going.
  • Lizzie is a psycho.
  • Carol is back, and Tyreese has no clue about her actions. This is likely to blow up at the end of this season, given her timely return.
  • Tyreese and his ladies are heading for another promise of sanctuary.
  • Maggie is on the fucking edge, yo.
  • Glenn is trying to live up to Herschel’s ideals.
  • The lovebirds are SUPER devoted to each other and I’ll cry if anything happens to either of them.
  • Tara is a character now, so she may be a point of tension later.
  • Sergeant Abraham Ford is in play and, apparently, he’s a pretty big deal.

All of that in one new episode, even though it really kind of felt like nothing really happened at all! Ah, the reasons we love “The Walking Dead.” Soon enough, we’ll learn a little bit more about our new buddies.Plus we’ll be getting another check in with Michonne and the Grimes guys.

Until next week!