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New 52 Comic Review – “Batgirl” #29

We catch up where last issue left off, with the GCPD training their guns on the street fight between Silver and his lady friend, and Barbara (in civilian clothes) and Strix (of the Court of Owls).

OMG, he's so smart. Like "Jeopardy" smart.

OMG, he’s so smart. Like “Jeopardy” smart.

Babs and Strix are outside of the home of a kidnapped girl, trying to find her before Silver ‘splodes her… Because… He thinks that she’s a vampire. Because…

I guess he thinks that EVERYONE is.

I guess he thinks that EVERYONE is.

The cops tell him to lower his weapon, he refuses, and Barbara is trying to figure out a way to diffuse this situation because she’s worried that, if she doesn’t, Strix will, and she’ll do it by knocking the shit out of each and every cop out there before resuming the fight, and then probably running out of time, etc. Plus, if shit doesn’t get solved soon, someone will recognize her when the glare goes down and she lowers her hands.

But, it’s okay, because Silver comes to the fore again, threatening the police to kill himself in a really sarcastic manner. When they refuse to lower their guns, this whole page happens and I don’t understand any of it.



Why would you arbitrarily slice your throat? How does that relatively not forceful action cause you to flip a billion feet? Did you really just include this because you needed to fill a page? Did you think this was clever? Or did you do it because you think that that last panel was so super cool and totally worth it?

Because it’s really just idiot. You could have had a distraction caused by a giant robot stomping around in the background or a fight between other Gotham rogues or Bat-people, and I would have bought that.

As it stands, the villain is able to get into his Rolls Royce, which then sprouts a machine gun and rips the GCPD cops and their cars APART, as Barbara bangs on the window, completely unscathed.

Completely underwhelming reaction.

Completely underwhelming reaction.

Strix pulls Barbara away and they manage to escape the GCPD’s notice. A call from Knightfall gives them the lead they needed.

And I must say...

And I must say…

That is does look like...

That is does look like…

Batgirl is NOT a very good detective right now.

Batgirl is NOT a very good detective right now.

Back at Uchida’s Dracula’esque mansion, he gets patched up by girl-Alfred and given a whole carafe of something-or-another to chug as Batgirl and Strix creep around the building, looking for a way inside.

Maybe DON'T drink the crazy juice?

Maybe DON’T drink the crazy juice?

We also get a little bit of backstory for this dude and all of his crazy.

Is this awkward? Because it looks more awkward than tragic.

Is this awkward? Because it looks more awkward than tragic.

The door pretty much magically opens for Batgirl and Strix, and Silver further invites them in, specifically asking them to drink his blood.

Trap much?

Trap much?

Obviously, fighting ensues, and apparently this dude is actually pretty good.

Well, don't STOP to gape at your wound!

Well, don’t STOP to gape at your wound!


Strix soon gains the upper hand, and it about to end this crazy motherfucker, but Barbara won’t let her.

Bullshit. You could totally have chosen to use your words.

Bullshit. You could totally have chosen to use your words.


Lucky for her, Strix doesn’t take it personally, and Barbara knocks Silver down, trying to talk some sense into him, like she probably should have from the beginning.

You have entirely too much sympathy for this dude who just a few hours ago actively tried to kill a bunch of cops just to make a getaway.

You have entirely too much sympathy for this dude who just a few hours ago actively tried to kill a bunch of cops just to make a getaway.


This simple explanation that I guess nobody else ever tried explaining to him is apparently enough to snap him out of his delusion because, Cissy rounds the corner, asking if she can go home now, and Silver very calmly asks her where his assistant is, calling her “Child” instead of “Demon” for the first time.


Because THIS happens.

I... What?

I… What?


What is even happening?

What is even happening?


That’s right. That’s right. All along, vampires were real. And this little girl was one. And she killed and ate her father. And this disappearance happened a while ago, but NOBODY fucking noticed this little girl’s sudden aversion to things like, oh, say, sunlight?

Alright. Fine.

Vampires are fucking real now. As evidenced by the fact that the line above, “Stop. I command it,” was spoken by a shirtless dude wearing leather pants (pictured below) who entres during a convenient strike of lightning and when asked who exactly he is, responds, “I? Vampire.” Y’know, using the type of syntax that no one does.

He tells them that Cissy’s been dead for a while, that this is only her shell, and that now she’s his responsibility since her undead power and whatever has been calling to him. And it looks like he’s been trying to find her on foot..?

Either way, the moment doesn’t last long, since Cissy spontaneously combusts. The reason?

So... Not crazy juice then. Okay.

So… Not crazy juice then. Okay.


Then, everybody there fucking disappears in a swarm of bats.

Quick! Look through their stuff!

Quick! Look through their stuff!


That’s it!

That’s how it ends! We’re in third -person limited-ish, it looks like, so we’re seeing it from Batgirl’s perspective… Except for all of the times we see Silver’s actions and his actual perspective. And that’s all we get! Batgirl was wrong. Silver was right. Vampires are a thing.

And the only other witness is a mute with poor writing skills?


Okay, so, really, now… This has just added more fuel to my, “I’m pretty sure that Batgirl is going crazy and wouldn’t that kinda be cool?” fire.

All of the shit that came out of left field? The shit that made not sense? The various and very obvious oversights, like not looking more thatn halfway down a sheet of paper when she’s supposed to be the brilliant protege of the world’s greatest detective and the commissioner’s daughter and she has a photographic memory to boot?

And then that last bit of internal monologue? “How do I convince myself this actually happened in the morning?”

I guess you don’t.

You’ve already lived it, whether reality or a delusion.

And this is the latest in a line of things that have happened that bear no explanation, that make no sense, that are getting increasingly more creeptastic, and that no one but her can recount! Supposedly murdering her brother and being hunted by her father? The ventriloquist with the living, independently moving and murderous doll?

And now fucking vampires.

I really do hope that Barbara is losing it. I really do. Not only would it be good writing and a really interesting story arc to eventually get to, but…

If the alternative is just a series of poorly written one-shots and uninteresting additions to a personal rogues gallery?

Yeah, give me crazy. Because I’ve had enough of terrible writing in the DC New 52.

But, that fact that Silver saw Barbara and Strix as being vampires, and that he was right about Cissy, poses an interesting idea. She is crazy. Or she’s got some kind of growing darkness in her. Heck, Strix has all kinds of darkness floating around inside of her tragic history. Oh! Actually, Strix IS undead!


Oh, I hope that this shit actually plays out in a decent way.

Until next time, nerds.