Category Archives: DC Comics

DC Rumoured to Plan 7 Movie Releases in 2 Years

According to Nikki Finke, formerly of Deadline, Warner Brothers is planning to release over a half-dozen live-action movies based on DC Comics properties.

We're getting there... But it probably won't look anything like this.

We’re getting there… But it probably won’t look anything like this.

The schedule is reportedly as follows:

  • May 2016 – Batman v Superman
  • July 2016 – Shazam
  • Christmas 2016 – Sandman
  • May 2017 – Justice League
  • July 2017 – Wonder Woman
  • Christmas 2017 – Flash/Green Lantern team-up
  • May 2018 – Man Of Steel 2

 

So, a couple of things from this. Assuming that this is accurate…

Apparently, Dawn of Justice is not Man of Steel 2. Man of Steel 2 is going to be a separate movie, released 5 full years after its first installment. That… Seems like bad planning. If/when fans have their little movie marathons, Superman’s going to be aging super-fast. How old will he be by the time the third movie comes out?!

via sortadone.blogspot.com

via sortadone.blogspot.com

And then there’s BatFleck, who has bulked up a bit, but who still faces a heck of a lot of nerdrage.

Tight shirts help.

Tight shirts help.

Also… Can we not just call it “Captain Marvel?” Are we so sure that audiences are so uninformed as to confused Captain Marvel with Marvel Studios? I mean… I guess, but I’m sick of people calling one of DC’s heaviest hitters by the wrong name.

AND NOT ONE NAMED SHAZAM!

AND NOT ONE NAMED SHAZAM!

Also, if DC darkens this character, too, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.

How tied-in to the rest of the DC Universe is the “Sandman” movie going to really be? Is he involved in JLA shennanigans? It’d certainly be a shake-up, but I don’t know that I would like that. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t, unless the story were truly tremendous.

And speaking of movies that will need a fantastic story for me to really get behind them… GL and Flash? Yeah. I love Green Lantern (the characters, not the movie *barf*), but have little attachment to the Flash. I loved Bart Allen in Young Justice and that was the end of my association with the Speed Force.

Can we get someone OTHER than Hal Jordan? I'd take Guy Gardner over him.

Can we get someone OTHER than Hal Jordan? I’d take Guy Gardner over him.

But the biggest deal here for me, for my Fangirls, and for women and feminists everywhere is going to be the supposed Wonder Woman movie. Will it stay true to the comics, pre-DCnU? Hopefully, as the New 52 origin of Diana of Themyscira has been butchered to make the only truly independently female icon’s beginnings now based on a man.

Also, a few weeks ago, Gal Gadot posted a progress picture of her workout to her Facebook page, certain that her new buff body would finally silence all of the nay-sayers complaining about her being too thing to play the Princess of the Amazons.

Um...

Um…

Now, maybe it’s the angle. There is some bicep and deltoid definition there, but that’s a hell of a slim brachialis still, so I don’t think that this photo is going to quell any of those fans’ concerns. It certainly isn’t doing anything for mine… I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have little faith in the casting, and I should clarify that I don’t like pretty much all of the casting news that I’ve heard so far, but I am going to go into the movies with as unbiased an opinion as I can. After all, I was pleasantly surprised by Anne Hathaway’s portrayal of Selina Kyle in “The Dark Knight Rises.”

But, really, there is so much that they could do wrong with the character. The story could be garbage, the costume could be wrong, they could over-sexualize her, Gadot may not be a good fit for the character, they could put her together with Superman and make me hate them even more than I did when they cast Amy Adams as Lois Lane.

Worst characterization of a strong female character ever.

Worst (non-cheesecake) characterization of a strong female character ever.

The one thing that Warner Bros really does have going for them is that all of their licensing falls under their own label, so they don’t face the limitations that Marvel has with respect to crossovers between Spider-Man (Sony), X-Men (Fox), and the Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy (Marvel Studios).

Of course, Marvel is doing just fine for themselves and DC has been treading water since the mid-90’s.

What do you think of this schedule? Will it work? With WB already pushing back the release date of “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” by a years already, do you think that this schedule will actually be met?

Let us know in the comments!

 

 

TFP Presents Our Four Favorite Dads

In honors of Father’s Day, the ladies of the TFP wanted to spotlight some of our favorite dads in the DC and Marvel Universe.

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Jonathan Kent

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New 52 Comic Review – “World’s Finest” #21

Picking up where last issue left off, this Earth’s evil Ken has opened a portal which supposedly leads to Earth 2, home for Karen and Helena.

And the whole place kind of looks like it's on fire.

And the whole place kind of looks like it’s on fire.

 

Karen is none too pleased with the idea that this Ken is kind of a douchebag, and physically attacks him while sprouting… I wanna say bad poetry, maybe?

"My lovely Ken." Sounds weird, no?

“My lovely Ken.” Sounds weird, no?

  Read the rest of this entry

New 52 Comic Review – “Red Lanterns” #29 (Red Daughter of Krypton)

Red Lanterns #29 came out this week, continuing Kara Zor-El’s spiral into Red Lantern-hood.

We catch up with the RLs on Ysmault, two of the guys debating whether or not to test out this supposedly tremendously powerful weapon.

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And the nominations for this year’s Darwin Awards are…

But they do have a pretty sturdy, and even eager target in mind.

I'd be mad, too, if that was my haircut.

I’d be mad, too, if that was my haircut.

Read the rest of this entry

New 52 Comic Review – “Wonder Woman” #29

Oh, hey. Lookey there. Something finally happens.

 

Hera’s still chilling at the winery where Dionysus and his soon-to-be-turned-into-pigs comrades were in the previous couple of issues, leisurely ordering from the menu.

It's like a disdain-off. WHO WILL WIN?

It’s like a disdain-off. WHO WILL WIN?

Of course, the menu is more interesting than the ball of green glowing fire hurtling towards her. Understandable, really.

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The waiter’s taking a dive? Terrible service.

Since warning her would be ridiculous, the waiter dives out of the way while Hera is trying really hard to remember that she just wants, like, a Jack and Coke, of all things. And, of course again, the ball hits her.

So, mystical energy is just radiation, or what?

So, mystical energy is just radiation, or what?

Back in the woods, Hermes and Demeter are trying to keep on their hunt, since the Moon is a little bit OCD.

And ADD.

And ADD.

She feels a disturbance in the Force and just fucking knows that Apollo’s in danger or hurt or in some other Charles Barkley level of turrible trouble, so she asks Hermes to transport them to Olympus right away.

On the ship, one of the engines has been damaged by the explosion, and Zola is in there trying to rescue Dio… Who we actually don’t see at all in this entire issue.

Bitch couldn't call a sitter?

Bitch couldn’t call a sitter?

So, yeah, Zola’s kind of bad at things. But it’s okay because Wonder Woman is holding the plane up!

But she's not doing too great a job, is she?

But she’s not doing too great a job, is she?

But, as turns out, nobody is good at things, because Hermes gets them to Olympus just in time for Diana’s strength to crap out on her, sending the ship pretty much crashing down on top of them.

By all rights, the issue should just end right there. Also, the series.

By all rights, the issue should just end right there. Also, the series.

But, they are all on Olympus now… Or what’s left of it. And now everybody can be snarky to each other until they realize exactly what their current location means as far as, y’know, not dying goes.

Oh, wait, I'm a liar. There's Dio.

Oh, wait, I’m a liar. There’s Dio.

NO! No. No. Look, I know that Greek mythology is just chock fucking full of incest, and that this was especially the case in the gods’ case, but I’m done with all of the incest in comics, movies, TV shows, and fucking fanfiction especially. I’m DONE.

But that’s a rant for another time.

Anywho, the hyena people start to flip the fuck out…

Yeah, bitch, you better hide.

Yeah, bitch, you better hide.

And nobody seems to have noticed that they’re standing on red, squishy, raw-meat-smelling ground. And cue the appearance of the First Born. I’ve got to say, he’s looked better.

He's looked worse.

He’s looked worse.

Understandably, they’re not particularly keen on the idea of subservience to a monster, and Demeter in particular is pretty intent on that whole vengeance thing.

But lunging at this motherfucker is a bad idea, as they all ought to have known by now.

But lunging at this motherfucker is a bad idea, as they all ought to have known by now.

And I guess having no skin makes his veins weapons now, so he’s caught her and is sucking her energy away a la the Parasite.

All while monologuing!

All while monologuing!

Diana pulls a magic glowing bladed spear thingy out of… nowhere? And intend to also attack him head on.

Because, no, really, everyone is bad at everything in this issue.

Because, no, really, everyone is bad at everything in this issue.

And her attempts to be a baller don’t last very long, as she gets vein-drained.

Because nobody learns lessons any more.

Because nobody learns lessons any more.

And the monologue continues on, being way more painful than that whole imminent doom thing.

Stop antagonizing him!

Stop antagonizing him!

The First Born says that he’s learned something during his captivity, and that it’s that power, love, life, blah, everything ends eventually.

ww29-16

A.) I’m not even sure that that make sense. Take a physics class, mother fucker. B.) That’s icky.

But, before he can up and end all of these assholes, the only person who is able to do any thing is the one person who’s been the most useless this whole, entire arc.

LIKE A BOSS.

LIKE A BOSS.

The return of Hera to power! Literally. Her display of mad power, which really shouldn’t be intimidating since Apollo’s power transferring over to Hera shouldn’t have amplified it and the First Born done walloped Apollo good, well, it makes the First Born book it.

ww29-18

What a good sun (<-See what I did there?).

They leave Olympus in the ruins is was already in, Apollo’s guts all over the place and everything, and head to who-knows-where, where nobody questions it because they assume that wherever it is, it’s gonna be safe, so fuck it.

Nobody's gonna take baby Zeke out of the bjorn and check him over? See if he's alright and everything?

Nobody’s gonna take baby Zeke out of the bjorn and check him over? See if he’s alright and everything? No? Okay.

They pop on over to Themyscira, it turns out, so that Diana’s pseudo step-mother can give her a gift.

That's a lot of bitches to send head-first into being murdered by the First Born.

That’s a lot of bitches to send head-first into being murdered by the First Born.

The Amazons are back!

And I swear if this whole thing doesn’t feel like it just completely fell flat.

Like, “oh, hey, ladies, welcome back. I’ve nothing to say to you, despite the appearance in the comics so far that your petrification and the destruction of Paradise Island and I don’t even see my mom or any of my closest friends, but would you mind dying in throngs for me?”

https://i1.wp.com/gellertsc.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Zap-plan-of-attack.jpg

And, Wonder Woman finally accepts her mantle, knowing that her denial has cost them until now. So, she’s not asking them as Princess…

Blah.

Blah.

So, whoopee, she’s a harbinger of doom, to take down a harbinger of doom.

And I still feel like nothing happened. Hera’s back to power, yes, and last issue saw Apollo dying to give her back that power, but this whole story is just creeping along so slowly that I really do find it hard to care about one of my favourite characters.

I’m hoping that something happens to get rid of this First Born dude sooner rather than later, because I need this crap to be done with.

Honestly.

We need a new story, or at least better pacing.

And for now, I’ll be keeping an eye out for a downward spiral of yet another DC character, since being the god of war is more than likely going to be a thing that affects her as a character, morals and all.

Plus this whole “dating Superman” thing isn’t helping.

Gag.

Well, until next time.

 

 

First Official Image of the Penguin

gotham-thepenguin

Fox has released the first official image of the Penguin.  From this image I can see some of the Penguin, he has the pointed nose and the bow tie.  Obviously we cannot see an umbrella, from the on set images I did not see one there, but maybe the umbrella comes later. What I do know is that I did not see webbed hands from the on set pics, I am wondering about that.

Fox has also released an official description for the Penguin:

”Oswald Cobblepot/aka The Penguin (Robin Lord Taylor – The Walking Dead, Another Earth, Accepted) has the brains of a chess grandmaster and the morals of a jackal. A low-level psychopath for gangster Fish Mooney (Jada Pinkett Smith), he hides his sadistic lust for power behind an exquisitely polite demeanor.”

While I am excited for the show and like the way most everyone else looks, I am just not feeling the Penguin.  Unless something is going to happen to make him more penguin, I just don’t fully see it.  I do understand going for the realistic approach, but it’s the Penguin, he is not supposed to be realistic looking.  He is supposed to be a deformed, that does happen in real life.  I guess we are just going to have to wait and see.

What do you think of the Penguin’s look?

More images from Fox’s new series “Gotham”

Fox has released more images from the set of Gotham.  We have another image of Selina Kyle, this time with a cat.

gotham-set-pics-catwoman-3-630x608-300x289

I knew they were going to have to show her with a cat or cats at some point, I just did not expect them to do it with release photos.  I am happy to see this image, Bicondova claims to be a lover of cats, so that will be a great asset to her.

The next set of photos we have are the infamous death of Thomas and Martha Wayne.

gotham-set-pics-wayne-parents-death-256x300gotham-set-pics-wayne-parents-death-2-300x265gotham-set-pics-wayne-parents-death-3-300x215

While I am happy we got to see a photo of him with the parents, I think the first one with them walking or one with him crying over the dead bodies would have been enough. The photo of the parents falling and the last one with them on the ground just do not do the scene or story justice.  If you are person who lives under a rock or really young you might not know how Bruce’s parents die.  In these stills it does nothing to explain why Bruce was left alive.  In the last still it looks like the shooter is walking away.  I was always under the impression the shooter got spooked and ran away that is why Bruce was left alive.  Maybe they are going with a different approach or maybe the stills are doing a bad job of showing the shooter running away.  I guess we will have to wait and see once the show airs.

We also have the first photo of Sean Pertwee as Alfred Pennyworth

gothamalfred-743e1

I like his look, this is what I would expect an English butler to look like.  I am just waiting to see what approach he will take – will he be stiff or friendly.  Will he act like a traditional butler or will he act like someone who has raised Bruce from infancy?

What do you think of these new set photos?

Photos from the set of Fox’s Gotham

We have some great first look pictures from Fox’s Gotham. Filming for the show began this week, we are very excited for these first look photos.

The first one shows Ben McKenzie as Jim Gordon and Robin Lord Taylor as Oswald Cobblepot aka The Penguin. I like the way McKenzie looks as a young Gordon. I am interested to see where they are going with The Penguin. I am pretty sure in lore he was born looking like a penguin and these pics he doesn’t look anything like one.

gotham-tv-series-first-pics-370258-e853b

The next pic is of Gordon and Donal Logue who plays Harvey Bullock. I like the look of Bullock, he looks like he could be an older and rougher around the edge cop. I can definitely see him hiding a flask in his coat. There is an official character description of Bullock.

gotham - gordon:bullock

“Jim Gordon’s partner and mentor, the rough-around-the-edges Detective Harvey Bullock plays loose with police procedure, but gets results — and he does so with old-school, hard-ass panache.”

Here is the official image of Bullock alone; I have so say I am really liking this image.

GOTHAM-Harvey-Bullock-5add1

Next, we have the official image of Camren Bicondova as Selina Kyle aka Catwoman. I really like the look of her. She really reminds me of a young Michelle Pfieffer. I really like how they positioned her so it almost looks like she has cat ears – great foreshadowing.

gothamselina-e5ba8

Next, up we have some great photos of David Mazouz who is Bruce Wayne aka Batman and Bicondova. I like the look Mazouz in Bruce’s school uniform and I love the pic him wearing the Batman mask. I like the action shots of Bicondova, she has the possibility to get that Catwoman stealth and slink down. I like the goggles because they remind of Catwoman’s current costume. I also appreciate that she is stealing milk. I really like the picture of Mazouz and Bicondova together I hope that means that we will be seeing Bruce and Selina together on the show.

young-bruce-wayne-gotham-600d0catwoman-gotham1-c20f0

 

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Then we have a few pictures just of McKenzie, I will admit that it is weird to see a young Gordon when I am use to older look.

gotham - gordon - 1Gotham - gordon - 2

Gotham will air on Fox this upcoming fall season.

New 52 Comic Review – “Supergirl” #29

So, here we are, picking up from last issue, and still behind Red Lanterns. But, this actually is a pretty decent issue. Not a slug-fest, not compeltely full of mindless growling and blood vomit, and a very cool, and little seen, glimpse into the brief time Kara spent trying to be a person on Earth.

It opens with a flashback. And all of Supergirl’s downward spiraling has happened in a single month, by the way.

On a cold, snowy day, we find Siobhan and Kara chilling in the apartment, using Kara’s heat vision to toast marshmallows one by one.

sg29-01

A completely justifiable use of her super powers, by the way.

While Siobhan takes the whole thing in stride, just content to finally have a friend she can allow herself to keep because she can’t accidentally hurt her, Kara marvels at her ability to achieve such a fine level of control.

Siobhan waves her off and tells her to stick with her “and you’ll go places.”

Eventually, Kara does finish the marshmallow off, Cajun style, and rather than inciting a blood feud or another bout of self-loathing, they pair just laugh it off.

sg29-02

That had better not have been the last marshmallow, though!

Cut to the present, where Kara is actively trying to kill her, and Siobhan has gone off to see if she can help… Somehow.

Aaaaaand she immediately regrets the decision.

Aaaaaand she immediately regrets the decision.

Like so many BFFS before her, she tries the first line of defense: talking down her friend who is clearly taking a breakup too hard/had to much of an intoxicant/probably both. The difference is that, most of the time, the drunk girl friend isn’t A.) Superpowered and B.) trying to sear your face off with their flaming acid vomit.

But, still, don't get it on your shoes.

But, still, don’t get it on your shoes.

 

Siobhan is trying so freaking hard here, trying not to have to unleash the Silver Banshee, but Kara just won’t hear it.

Back in the Block, Dr. Veritas asks her army of non-clone-genetic-copies WTF is going on with Kara, and the news that she’s gotten a Red Lantern Ring sends her reeling. According to the good-ish doctor, a Kryptonian with a power ring is “an extinction level threat.” Which, yeah. Duh. Unfortunately, there is somehow a more pressing concern.

Yeah, this thing is still a thing.

Yeah, this thing is still a thing.

 

Blaze is on the loose, and since she was being both contained in a holding cell in a transdimensional research lab and prison, and she’s some kind of whatsis from hell.

Now, I don’t quite know who Blaze is, but I do follow a Supergirl blog where a post was dedicated to bringing us all up to speed on who in the actual Hell she is. Check it out here, if you’re curious. Of course, keep in mind that they may have changed her story up a bit for the New 52.

Anywho, back in Queens, it looks like Siobhan’s offer of friendship and help is about to crack that angry exteriour for a moment… Until the NYPD shows up and ruins everything.

Just like in real life.

Just like in real life.

 

Now, with all of the innocent bystanders (Innocent? Ha! It’s New York!) and the police at risk, Siobhan is finally ready to release the Silver Banshee.

There's a moment where she looks like she's about to lose herself, but she is able to come on back.

There’s a moment where she looks like she’s about to lose herself, but she is able to come on back.

 

And she’s also able to actually hold her own until she get’s punched into another burrough. She finds herself outside of her own apartment building, conveniently enough, and now she’s worried about her new roommate, since Kara would probably rip her apart without so much as the blink of an eye. Which, yeah, she probably would, since she would see the new girl as her replacement, because love and friendship, I’ve found, are seen as finite resources in the minds of crazy people.

But, either way, the interesting thing to note here is that… This bitch is conspiring against the woman currently, actively trying to save her life!

Another story seed planted, just on the heels of the Blaze escape.

Another story seed planted, just on the heels of the Blaze escape.

 

But, despite the battle raging on on the outside, and her attempts to do good both by her friend and by those her friend might end up hurting, Siobhan is still waging an internal war against the Silver Banshee demon (is it a demon?) trying to break free and take over.

More dangerous than Kara, though? Somebody's got a bit of an ego.

More dangerous than Kara, though? Somebody’s got a bit of an ego.

 

Cut to another friendly time flashback, and we see Siobhan flipping out over Kara’s having cleaned their apartment. The woman has a system, and, really, those of us who lie a bit to the messier side of the spectrum can relate! My bedroom may be a mess, but I know exactly where everything is, and that’s not even a little bit of an exaggeration. So, I feel for Siobhan. I really do. But, again, the moment is easily fixed when Supergirl superspeeds the mess back into place.

Siobhan tells her that she can't fix everything for a person who can't or won't accept help, or something, but the gesture is still appreciated.

Siobhan tells her that she can’t fix everything for a person who can’t or won’t accept help, or something, but the gesture is still appreciated.

 

In the present, her desire to get the fight away from the middle of Queens gets her to allow the Silver Banshee to unless a smidgen more of her power, allowing her to shift her pitch high enough to tear open a portal to an abandoned area, someplace in Oregon, I think. The fight goes on, and Siobhan ignores her worse half’s beckoning to allow her a little more control, even if it would lead to more power.

Then she gets punched in the stomach.

Betcha wish you'd taken the offer now, huh?

Betcha wish you’d taken the offer now, huh?

 

Meanwhile, in Queens again, sexy Lobo is up and staring at the smoldering wreckage of his beloved ship.

Whomp whomp.

Whomp whomp.

But the whole thing might not have been a total waste, because he’s pretty sure that he’s just gotten a lead on his doppelganger.

So, a third story seed has been planted now. Hmmm…

Finally, though, back at the fight and after an internal struggle between Siobhan trying to save her friend and the Silver Banshee’s selfish motivation for getting her host to realise that Supergirl is currently beyond saving, Siobhan can only get rid of Kara. After all, since the Kryptonian is so enraged and fueled by the desire for vengeance, the destroyer of her world isn’t going to be found on Earth!

No. Girl. This is totally legit.

No. Girl. This is totally legit.

So Kara flies off in a fury, and it’s just after that moment that we must be catching up with her in Green Lanterns/Red Lanterns#28, which we reviewed here.

That last two pages take place on another planet, whose name I forget, which is home to this guy and his minions.

Wait. Are his horns pierced?

Wait. Are his horns pierced?

 

These guys, I’m pretty sure, are the world killers. And, therefore, pretty much directly responsible for the destruction of Krypton. And now a doubly super powered Kryptonian who is literally running on pure rage juice is out there gunning for them.

Awesome.

So, I actually enjoyed this issue. And I came into the whole Red Daughter thing pretty cautious, but I did think that it could be a good way to go for the character as she is now. Not forever, mind you, but as a means to rehabilitation.

But aside from that, so far writer Tony Bedard is doing a pretty awesome job. Plus the little hints of future storylines that he’s been dropping so far make it look like he’s got a whole lot of stuff planned for Kara, which is definitely the sign of a good comic book writer, but also that he’s going to be sticking around for a while!

Of course, knowing DC, they’ll probably can the man because of positive fan reactions, for some ridiculous reason.

Either way, this guy managed to accomplish more character development and create more of a supporting cast in this one issue than the other writers have in the whole run until this point.

Here’s hoping he does a good job, stays on, and that we can finally have a decent female hero again.

Until next week, when we’ll be reviewing Red Lanterns #29 to continue Kara’s angry, angry story.

 

 

 

 

 

New 52 Comic Review – “Superman/Wonder Woman” #6

Somebody needs to explain to me why this happened. Why did this pairing have to become a thing?

Zod and Faora are preparing to open the Phantom Zone and let loose all of the crazies, and Superman and Wonder Woman are flying around being pretty. Clark is having reservations about their operations as heroes. He’s worried that they may have been a better team when they weren’t also doing it. Once again, Wonder Woman callously dismisses his concerns because she’s kind of a bitch in this book.

Of course, to be fair, Clark is full of feelings all the time.

Of course, to be fair, Clark is full of feelings all the time.

Knowing that it’s going to be a tough match between them and Zod and not-Ursa, they turn to Diana’s extended family for help. Namely, Hephaestus, who looks a heck of a lot like a parademon.

Especially in the pages on her own book and ESPECIALLY when he's actually wearing his goggles.

Especially in the pages on her own book and ESPECIALLY when he’s actually wearing his goggles.

It seems that Diana sees their biggest advantage as being the element of surprise, and since the other Kryptonians have the same heightened senses as Clark, that’s almost a moot point. Put it’s okay because Hephaestus has a solution for that.

So, as Zod and Whatsherface finish constructing their StarGate out of garbage, Clark and Diana blow their element of surprise with a since blow which pretty much barely fazes either of them, and which only actually hits Zod anyways.

Because they're terrible at everything.

Because they’re terrible at everything.

 

And I don’t know that I understand this next panel.

Okay, so I guess Hephaestus has, like, an invisible ship that he’s letting them use. Is that going to end up being the invisible jet?

More importantly, why would they emerge from it and announce their presence, even if they are sporting their new WitchBlade armour?

It really just looks like bad art direction, with missiles coming out of nowhere.

It really just looks like bad art direction, with missiles coming out of nowhere.

And the fight scene ensues. And something was bothering me about this whole thing, because, y’know, I’ve also been reading Wonder Woman’s solo series…

Oh, here we go.

Oh, here we go.

Wait. What is that little yellow box saying?

GROWL.

GROWL.

SIGH. Come ON, DC! Wasn’t the whole point of the reboot to make sure that every comic is in-sync, storywise? All of the timelines would match up and the crossovers wouldn’t be so muddled?

Or is this your way of finally, albeit quietly, admitting that you only did it because you were officially out of ideas?

I think we know the answer.

But, back to the issue…

Fighting. Fighting. Fighting.

Fighting. Fighting. Fighting.

And this happens. They got the snot beaten out of them, but they’re okay and they’re going to somehow deliver the force of their blows right back to them.

In the lamest possible way.

In the lamest possible way.

BEWARE THE POWER OF HAND-HOLDING!

Because SCIENCE.

Apparently.

No. Y’know, what? I’m just going to assume that these suits were designed to absorb kinetic energy and expel it as energy energy a la Sebastian Shaw. Because I don’t think that that was ever stated, and I’m trying to make the leap for the writers since I’m really at my wit’s end with the New 52.

But, I digress. As I often do.

So, they knock Zod and Whosits down and out… Until the gods decide to continue hazing their sister’s boyfriend.

By directly blasting them with a super-dose of sunlight courtesy of Apollo. Who is currently dead in Wonder Woman. Which is why this is stupid. Well, not the only reason it's stupid, really.

By directly blasting them with a super-dose of sunlight courtesy of Apollo. Who is currently dead in Wonder Woman. Which is why this is stupid. Well, not the only reason it’s stupid, really.

So, now they’re super-charged and gonna be pretty much impossible to beat.

Ha! Awesome.

Way to go, Apollo.

Way to go, Apollo.

Lo and behold, they up and beat the ever-loving super-poo out of the two of them and them fly them over to a conveniently nearby nuclear plant with a solid lead core to dump them in.

Lead AND radiation. Good. So this shit will be over soon enough, right?

Lead AND radiation. Good. So this shit will be over soon enough, right?

And now the rogue Kryptionians can fullfill their promise to the other inhabitants of the Phantom Zone. To create a hell on earth via a swarm of superpowered alien war criminals who will take over the planet and them probably fight with each other and destroy 91.5% of the planet in the process of their respective bids for power.

Still a better love story than Superman and Wonder Woman's.

Still a better love story than Superman and Wonder Woman’s.

 

In their lead would-be tomb, Clark and Diana have a very stilted and breathless conversation, wherein they have no ability to figure this shit out, but Clark just fucking knows what they’re doing.

But, the conversation takes five years to get out because of all of the ellipses, and they lose anyways. Oh, wait...

But, the conversation takes five years to get out because of all of the ellipses, and they lose anyways. Oh, wait…


And, finally, we get some literal ancient-Greek-deus ex machina.

Why would you ever bring this up in conversation?

Why would you ever bring this up in conversation?

And right before they’re about to make their tremendous sacrifice?

Ugh.

Ugh.

Which, by the way…

https://i2.wp.com/media.heavy.com/media/2013/02/tumblr_lmj3n8jRaE1qguurxo1_500.gif

Not transparent at all.

And also…

https://i1.wp.com/www.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/gag-gif1.gif

I can’t believe I’m saying it, and I’ll probably never say it again, but Honey Boo Boo has a point.

And kablooey. And I’m sure that there was nobody working in or living near that nuclear power plant they were trapped inside of at the moment.

Casualties shmasualties.

Casualties shmasualties.

So, it looks like they’ve stopped the bad guys! Right? I mean, surely, they must have with a blast like that!

Escpecially since… Well, take a look at them, lying at ground zero.

Oh, look. He wrapped her in his cape. Chivalry isn't dead; it's just a special kind of special.

Oh, look. He wrapped her in his cape. Chivalry isn’t dead; it’s just a special kind of special.

And that’s how the series ends.

…Not really. But I woulnd’t mind it! I like Superman. I like Wonder Woman. They’re my two favourite DCU characters… Pre-New 52. I really don’t like them now. And I especially, in case any of you guys haven’t cottoned on by this point, hate them together. It just doesn’t fit!

They don’t fit.

They’re a great team when tey fight alongside one another, but I don’t see the whole romance thing working out for them. The reason that Lois and Clark were such a good match was because, among numerous other reasons, it gave Superman/Clark a real depth. It brought him closer to his humanity, made him really one of us normal folks walking the earth, at least for a little while. And his humanity drove his heroics.

But with him dating Wonder Woman, it’s more like he’s being pulled away from his humanity. And I have a problem with that.

How is that going to make his a more compelling story?

It’s not.

Also, how is that going to make him more heroic?

I won’t.

So, another issue out and read and reviewed and I still don’t see it for them.

And, by the way, I’m not the only one of the FanGirls. We touched on the issue in our latest podcast. You should really check it out.

But, we’ll be back next month to see if this gets any more palatable.

Or any less intolerable.

Peace out.