“The Walking Dead” S5E16 – “Conquer”

Morgan. MORGAN. Morgan Morgan Morgan.

Morgan Morgan.


That's how this episode opens.

That’s how this episode opens.


With Morgan. Waking up in the woods. And Smiling.

Fuck, yeah.

As the man tries to eat his breakfast, a guy with a gun comes up to him. The dude has a “W” carved into his forehead. And Morgan gives zero fucks about the gun being trained on him. Even as the guy admits that his group runs through other survivor groups and even lays traps for them, and very succinctly tells Morgan that he’s going to rob his ass blind. And also murder him.




Morgan tells him he can have it all, except for his life. Another dude comes at Morgan from behind with a knife and Morgan fights them BOTH off with a stick. Even offers them, DURING their thrashing, the chance to leave. Even leaves them, knocked out but alive, safe in the car that he himself had slept in…

Apparently, Morgan went to Jedi school since "Clear."

Apparently, Morgan went to Jedi school since “Clear.”

Cut to Daryl and the world’s loudest mode of transportation, riding through the woods with Aaron and his sedan behind him. Because we have to keep the Dixon fans sated.



Rick wakes up in “jail,” Michonne sitting in it with him, not amused by his waking giggles. She wants answers from his crazy ass. She tells him that Pete’s been separated from his wife. She says that could have told her. He… Doesn’t really seem to have an excuse. In walk Glenn, Carol, and Abraham, the middle of whom immediately sets up a dialogue that makes it sound like it was Rick’s idea/actions that gave him his gun; he goes with it. There’s going to be a meeting to discuss Rick and the group. And Rick sets out a plan to take over Alexandria by taking some of their key people hostage. Glenn and Michonne are not so enthused by the idea.

Maggie confronts Deanna about the meeting, asking that she not exile Rick. Deanna is less than receptive. But her husband chases after her to talk about cavemen. Or going Paleo. Or something.

Well… Whatever.

It’s meant to be comforting and inclusive.

Outside of the walls, Sasha is adding a new weight-training element to her favourite pastime of walker-stalking by dumping their bodies into a freshly dug mass grave… And taking a little nap all nestled in with them because… Well, actually, that should keep other walkers away from her, right?

I bet everybody else in her house snores and that's really what this is all about...

I bet everybody else in her house snores and that’s really what this is all about…

Out with Daryl, Aaron is telling him about the last time that they had to boot a group from Alexandria… Apparently, they retained all of that group’s guns. Except for the Chekov’s guns, I bet!

Do you get it? Do ya? Huh?

Do you get it? Do ya? Huh?

Carol visits Rick in his holding room and give him a gun, making me REALLY sad for this missed opportunity or her to bake a cake with a file in it…

Ah, they're so cute I can't even stand it.

Ah, they’re so cute I can’t even stand it.

Maggie comes to chat with Glenn, as Nicholas, who you may recall has a secret gun, creeps on them from behind a post or a fence or someone’s house or SOMETHING.

The point is that he’s creeping.

And then climbing the fence. And Glenn follows him, without telling anyone. Because people don’t seem to learn anything on this show.

Gabriel goes for a walk alone outside, unarmed. (Ugh.)

Rick comes home to Carl, who believes that these people need them. Rick lays down the possibility of threatening or killing them, and Carl refuses to believe that because he really seems to believe in his father. Hey, he’s been wearing his dad’s hat for HOW many years now? Of COURSE your kid idolizes you, Rick, but even Carl was able to pull back after killing his mom and them his freakout where he gunned down a kid in the woods.

So, basically, if Carl is telling you that you can calm your tits, you really ought to calm them.

Daryl and Aaron are on the trail of another survivor. And it had better be Morgan. Actually… Maybe it had better NOT be Morgan, because a trap is laid, where several 55′ trailers FULL of walkers, some of them just torsos and heads carved with “W’s” and hanging from meat hooks (Does that mean MORE cannibals?!), is sprung, leading to Daryl and Aaron quickly over-run and taking refuge in a car.

This is actually a quote from "21 Jump Street..."

This is actually a quote from “21 Jump Street…”

They hope to block out the windows so that, in a few hours, when something else calls the walkers’ attention, they’ll just leave them be, but a crumpled up paper warns them that staying isn’t an option because “Bad People Coming.”

Carol goes to visit Pete and demand that he check on Tara, but he refuses and she pulls a knife on him, actually giving him a “Come at me[, bro].” She tells him that, if he plays ball, he doesn’t have to die. Then she gives him a casserole. And demands that he cleans her dish before returning it. And he drops it.

twd-carol1 twd-carol2

Ooh, she gon’ kill you…

Outside, Glenn is shot (in the shoulder, calm down) by that octopussy Nicholas. And inside the walls, Rick goes to see Jesse, who tells him both that he was foolish but also right. And Pete watches from his not-his-house in the distance.

Back in close quarters with Daryl and Aaron, Daryl muses on how he came out of Alexandria because he felt claustraphobic in there… And now he’s trapped in a compact car. Daryl volunteers to draw them away, once he finishes his cigarette. Aaron refuses, saying that they’ll both make a break for the fence. Of course, surrounded by so many walkers, I don’t see how either of them could make it… Until fucking MORGAN SAVES THEM YES. Still just using his stick.

And telling them that life is precious.

Aaron invites him to Alexandria, but Morgan politely refuses, saying that he’s lost and asking them to point out where he is on his map. The one with Abraham’s message to Rick from the mid-season finale.

Ee! I’m so excited!

…This cannot end well.

And, oh, Gabriel is trying to get a walker to kill him, possibly as some sort of penance and who could possibly give a shit about his kind-of-literally-apologetic sorry ass? But then he fights back like the coward that he is, anyways, like we didn’t know that that was going to happen. The walker he had baited was feasting on a guy who’s got most of his insides on the outsides, and Gabriel at least has the presence to mercy kill him… Before falling to the ground in tears.

Abraham comes by to visit Tara and drop off a vase of flowers and, in a kind of sweet moment, we see a Mullet that has fallen asleep at her bedside.

What kind of floorplan is this?

What kind of floorplan is this?

Abraham is being entirely too cautious, trying not to make noise, and Rosita helpfully drops a pot and wakes Eugene so that he and Ford can have an uncomfortable conversation. The Mullet apologizes, but it’s undercut by his… difficult manner of speech. Ford replies in kind, but much more glibly. Bros for life.

As Gabriel comes back to the gate, the guard asks, basically, for a moment of confession, and asks Gabriel to close the gate behind them. He doesn’t.

And I hate him so much.

Glenn surprises Nicholas in the woods and gets the upper hand until the asshole pokes his gunshot wound… And leaves Glenn to a bunch of walkers.


Michonne comes to see Rick, and he comes clean to her about him and Carol and the guns and all of that shit. He moves to give her the gun and she says that she wouldn’t really have stopped him from his plan this evening. But she also believes that they can find a way there. But either way, she’s Rick’s bro for life. He still tries to give her his gun, and she still lets him keep it. Because, let’s be honest, she can take his ass even WITH a gun.

But the scene ends as Rick sees that the gate is still open and there’s blood all around it. So something’s already inside.

Gabriel goes to his little chapel, where Sasha is waiting, lost and hoping that he can help her. He refuses.

Deanna and most of the town are meeting… Outside for some reason… Talking about Rick.

And Sasha tells Gabriel that she thinks that she wants to die. He tells her that she deserves it. He blames her for Bob’s death. And rubs verbal salt in the wound of her brother’s death.

Rick finds a walker in the grounds.

And does the standard "Rick Found a Walker" Dance.

And does the standard “Rick Found a Walker” Dance.

Michonne rallies for Rick.

Who finds even more walkers.

Carol rallies for Rick, still under her helpless woman guise.

Glenn overtakes Nicholas in the woods.

And the gun goes off as Sasha and Gabriel fight over it.

Abraham rallies for Rick.

And the guy in the red poncho that Daryl and Aaron had been hoping to recruit has been caught by Morgan’s would-be murderers from the start of the episode. And also promptly killed.

Maggie rallies for Rick. She calls them a family. And says that they should all want to be a part of it.

Deanna then tells them about Gabriel’s douchebaggery. And Jesse calls it hearsay.

Glenn has a gun trained on Nicholas.

Sasha has hers trained on Gabriel.

The “W” crew lure their walker trap back with a disco ball and soft music so… Walker prom season?

Without a word, Rick appears and dumps a walker corpse into the meeting. And the young guard realises that he’d asked Gabriel to close it.

While Maggie stops Sasha from murdering Gabriel and Glenn can’t bring himself to murder Nicholas.

Gabriel literally asks for it. Finally confessing as to how he consigned his entire congregation to death.

As Rick gives another rousing Rick-Speach (TM), Glenn helps Nicholas back in, Maggie, Sasha, and Gabrielold hands, Tara wakes up, and the “W” guys find photos of Alexandria from Aaron’s discarded backpack. (Shit.)

He says that he had wondered how many of them he would have to kill to save them, but he demands that they change instead, to adapt to the world better and be able to defend themselves. Then Pete shows up with Michonne’s sword no less and kills Deanna’s husband on his way to Rick. Ford puts him down on the ground, and Deanna orders Rick to kill him, which he does…

Just as Morgan shows up.

Can't go one fucking day without being blood-splattered, can you?!

Can’t go one fucking day without being blood-splattered, can you?!

And it cuts out before they can bro out like I really want them to.

But we get a stinger after the credits, with Michonne deciding NOT to hang her sword back up, and revealing that the “W” guys are, per their little anecdote at the beginning of the episode and some graffiti on that car in the lot, calling themselves the “Wolves”… Like a fucking pee-wee football team made up of kids from an underperforming school…


Let’s recap:

  1. Our heroes seem to be more heroic at the end of season than they’ve been for a while.
  2. And only two supporting characters bit it. One of them being Pete, who we pretty much all should have known wasn’t long for their world. The other being Deanna’s husband and a cheap plot device for swinging her to a little bit of the darker side. Of course, if we recall, her husband had been the guy to erect the walls, and with Noah, who could have been a potential protege, gone as well, how exactly can they be expected to keep that shit maintained..?


The groundwork has been laid for the next season’s villains, not to mention seeing how Rick and Morgan either get along or in fact clash after seeing each other again after such a long and traumatic time, but Glenn and Maggie survived, so I’m all good.<3

See you nerds in October!

About pattyinreallife

I'm a graphic artist, writer, film-maker, and avid baker. I sing in the car and laugh at the worst/best moments. I am the coolest nerd you will ever meet. Try not to let your jealousy show too badly.

Posted on March 30, 2015, in The Walking Dead, TV Show Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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