OUaT S4E13- “Darkness on the Edge of Town”
ONCE is back, after a million years! And there are no more ice people! Just… Maleficent in the movie costume now, Ursula, who we never actually see in water, and… I still can’t figure this one out, but Cruella De Ville.
Okay. Fine. Whatever. Let’s get into it. The episode opens in a flashback in Maleficent’s castle, where URSULA is threatening her with… I dunno, tentacle porn, I guess… They are soon joined by Cruella DeVille, who immediately displays magical powers over dogs, and their meeting has been orchestrated (like just about everything in the series) by Rumplestiltskin… The fourth Queen of Darkness.
After the stinger, we’re treated to a montage, showing us how Storybrooke residents are moving on; Snow is back to teaching, Regina is mayor-ing again and looks okay without Robin in her life, Emma is still the sheriff, still boinking Hook, and Hook and Belle are… Bonding over their shard history with the Dark One, trying to reverse the magic hat’s awesome suction powers.
In New York, Rumple is the world’s worst roommate, crashing on Ursula’s couch and eating all of her Cup o’ Noodles.
They get a lead on Cruella… Feinstein. Who is watching as her husband is arrested and her belongings seized. Looks like they’re getting the band back together.
Rumple wants to coerce happy endings from villains from the author. (Good job telling him about that, Regina.) At the mayor’s office, Emma brings Regina lunch and finds the alternate page 23, which Regina went back for and taped back together. Belle and Hook storm in and the former says that a linguistics expert from Oxford translated some magical junk to give them a ceremony for releasing the fairies from the Sorcerer’s hat.
They head to the woods and it works… But Regina looks awfully shaky with that dagger in her hands…
Oh, and, also, there’s evil oozing black smoke creeping out from the hatbox.
In the past, Rumple leads them towards a curse, which has traps which can be dealt with by their respective powers. Oh, and what curse? The Dark Curse, of course. Also, of course, the cave they’re in is guarded by Chernabog, which feeds on evil, specifically the heart win the greatest capacity for it, so he leaves them there to rot like the stand up guy that he is.
In the present, Rumple spills the beans about Storybrooke’s unfindability, and Ursula and Cruella pull a gun on him and totally should just kill him on the road and go on their respectful merry ways… At Granny’s, there’s a “Welcome Home Fairies” shindig, where Henry forces Regina to ask the Blue Fairy about the blank storybooks. Blue definitely knows something… In fact, she knows that the Sorcerer and the Author are two different people… But she doesn’t know who the Author is, no one does. But there are clues in the books. A roar from outside halts the conversation, so they go outside to see “what’s killing property values this time.”
Back in the past, the trio work as a team, under Maleficent’s leadership, to escape Chernabog…
Who is busy tearing shit apart in Storybrooke. It escaped the hat, and can’t be retraced since its release. Instead, Emma and a Regina join magics to chase him off. Outside of the town line, Rumple gives Ursula Regina’s number, so they basically crank call Regina, hoping to get her to let them into SB to prove that they’ve changed. She’s not keen on it, but the giant man-bat kind of necessitates inviting them in to deal with it.
They’re going to use Ingrid’s scroll to try and let them in, which, why wouldn’t that work for Robin some day..?
Well, Regina’s pretty sure that it’s after her, hat with the villainous past and all… So they’re gonna use her as bait. They stop to tell Snow and David… Who act super shady at the mention of Ursula and Cruella. They all meet at the town line, where Regina poofed out of the car to _save_ Emma, but the beast kept going after the blonde Saviour anyways (hmmm), after dissolving Chernabog into dust, and Snow tries to talk Emma out of helping out the villains.
Regina points out that she was worse than they ever were, so it would only be fair to give them a shot to prove themselves. So, bitches be in Storybrooke now… But will they come back for a he-looks-like-he-ready-to- cry Rumple?
He’s their Queen.
In fact, he’s also the “Oxford Professor” who gave Belle the translation (which explains why the e-mail alo contained a dick pic), and he’s confident in their lans, since he’s still been super manipulative, even magicless and couch- surfing in NYC, and everything’s been going swimmingly so far. Oh, and BTW. The heart with the greatest potential for darkness? It’s Emma’s.
The episode ends with a rainy meeting between Snow, Charming, Ursula, and Cruella, where in the heroes tell the villains that their shady past
needs to stay in their shady past. Or else…
Y’know… Looks like they’re trying to darken the heroes up a bit. Which, okay, great. In any event, it already looks better than that whole “Frozen” arc. Like that’s be hard to do…
But, really, if they bring back any characters from Arendelle:
Until next week!
Posted on March 2, 2015, in Once Upon a Time, TV Show Reviews and tagged belle, Captain Hook, chernabog, cruella de ville, david nolan, Emma Swann, enchanted forest, evil queen, granny, henry mills, killian jones, Maleficent, mary margaret blanchard, once, Once Upon a Time, ouat, Prince Charming, queens of darkness, regina mills, rumplestiltskin, savior, sea witch, Snow White, storybrooke, ursula, where the hell is red already?. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.