TWD S5E9 – “What Happened and What’s Going On”

The season resumes! And I’m still not upset that Beth died. I mean, I’m bummed for Maggie, but…

Zero fucks.

Zero fucks.

Well, the episode opens with a montage that includes the gang leaving Grady, burying Beth, and places that have fallen (Woodbury and the prison) as they decide to pursue what would have been Beth and… What’s His Name’s plans. We also get a glance back at the girls that Carol had to kill, and I think the show has shifted from killing every black character to killing every little blonde girl…

But wait… I don’t remember any of these flashbacks…

As the episode progresses, it becomes very apparent that the bits of people and places are things that we’re going ro becomes familiar with in the episode itself. They approach “Shirewilt,” where Noah believes that his mother and twin brothers have holed up to survive….But the place looks burned out and abandoned… Except for, y’know, the walkers roaming the streets. Noah breaks down and the others sweep for survivors and supplies as Tyreese watches over him.

Rick and Glenn discuss the vents of the previous episode… and all that I can think is that Glenn’s been growing that beard for two years ZA time and it’s still barely there.

Sigh... There's no way that this ends well.

Sigh… There’s no way that this ends well.

As they discuss how they just want to go ahead an murder people now, Michonne isn’t having it. And, at the same time, Noah and Tyreese are checking out the one house in decent shape. In the FIRST ROOM, they find Noah’s mom with her head blown off, but they decide to go further in… And… Remember what I said about NOT killing the black guys..?

Well.

Funny story.

Oh, no, wait. Not “funny.” What’s the word..?

What do you mean you're introducing another black male character?!

What do you mean you’re introducing another black male character?!

Oh. Right. “Tragic.”

Something in Noah’s family photos makes Tyreese have, like a miniature freak-out moment, and he gets fucking BITTEN in his distraction.

As he bleeds out, Tyreese has a vivid hallucination of the Termite that he let live, teasing him about his innocent nature, but a vision of Bob disagrees… Although both of them agree that this was all bound to happen. Then, a vision of the Governor and the blonde sisters appear to him… Masking the arrival of ANOTHER walker which then bites him IN THE EXACT SAME SPOT.

I’m over here wondering if two bites in the same spot by two walkers amounts to anything significant (it doesn’t) and Noah has “left for help” five million years ago already. I mean, tourniquet and amputation is walker bite counter attack 101.

Back outside, as Michonne tries to get them to the potential in refortifying the gates community… Until they see a spread of bodies… Well, the bottom halves of them. Then, she passionately makes a play for getting them to go to Washington because why would Eugene have insisted on Washington, even not thinking there was a cure? So, at least we have an idea of how the season is going to possibly maybe continue… If they ever stop talking about their feelings long enough to get there.

Save it for Zombie Oprah, assholes.

Save it for Zombie Oprah, assholes.

They hear screaming and find Noah pinned down by walkers, already making me see him and COMPLETELY fucking useless, and they follow him back to his house… Where Tyreese is once again hallucinating…

A SINGING BETH.

BECAUSE EVEN DEATH CAN’T STOP THE SONG IN BETH FUCKING GREENE’S HEART.

You can't stop me, no, you can't stop me, no!

“You can’t stop me, no, you can’t stop me, no!”

Le sigh…

As more of his ghosts come to talk shit, Tyreese talks back… And is this what happens to everyone who’s been bit? Sort of like seeing your life flash before your eyes but… The opposite?

IDK, I’m trying to make sense of this long, drawn out ass of an episode.

Just as his vision is dimming and it looks like it’s the end, Rick and company appear to chop his arm off. The frantically rush him back to the car which, really, why did you assholes park so far away again? In their hasty escape, they find the torsos of all of those bodies, still walker-ized…

But who gives a shit because Tyreese fucking dies.

It wasn’t Beth they were burying in the opening.

This melancholy bullshit makes me wonder why the hell I’m watching the series…

That’s a super shitty mid-season opener.

I’m so mad. And this time it has nothing to do with Beth’s singing.

I mean…

The prophecy has come true.

The prophecy has come true.

Mostly.

Sigh.

Motherfucker.

 

 

Advertisements

About pattyinreallife

I'm a graphic artist, writer, film-maker, and avid baker. I sing in the car and laugh at the worst/best moments. I am the coolest nerd you will ever meet. Try not to let your jealousy show too badly.

Posted on February 9, 2015, in The Walking Dead, TV Show Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: