ONCE S4E10 – “Fall”

In this episode, we are treated to even more of a tease. DAMN IT, I want to see these mofos tear each other apart, already!

Shattered glass storm, incoming! Everybody hide the lemons and vinegar because this is gonna sting.

Shattered glass storm, incoming! Everybody hide the lemons and vinegar because this is gonna sting.

Maybe I need to stop following this show with TWD right away…

Ingrid watches smugly as her curse rolls, in traditional cloud form, towards Storybrooke. Rumple approaches her wanting to make a deal. He reminds her that the curse won’t kill him, naturally leaving him to exact revenge upon her, so he wants to amend his earlier deal wherein he is allowed to leave, adding immunity for Belle and Henry to the pot. Inrgid is down for it, since she really only wants Elsa and Emma, and Rumple would be leaving anyways…

Oh, we're gonna all turn on each other and kill each other? Let's clump all of our loved ones together in an enclosed space!

Oh, we’re gonna all turn on each other and kill each other? Let’s clump all of our loved ones together in an enclosed space!

In town, the rest of the main characters watch, horrified, as the Spell of Shattered sight looms on the horizon, and they realise that their only option is escape from Storybrooke. At the ice wall on the border, David tries to scale the wall, but more ice builds. As the foundation cracks, Elsa spots Anna’s necklace and takes it as a sign of hope. Emma delegates Snow and David to rally the town, Hook to scope out the harbour for an escape via boat, and Regina insists that she’s got to warn Robin Hood, as the Merry Men aren’t camped particularly far from the border.

“Warn” Robin Hood? Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?

She also wants to take Henry with her, but Elsa and Emma are pretty sure that the opposite is true. Regina wins out in the end, though, and they head off.

At the pawn shop, Belle has no means of stopping the curse, but there is a way to undo the effects on a person once it’s been touched by the spell; you can make a counter spell with a strand of their hair. Elsa realises that Anna was under the spell when put into the urn, and that they can use the locator spell to find Anna since she’s recovered her necklace.

Somehow… Because I’m still not sure about the logic here… Elsa claims that finding Anna should be their next step because Anna should be able to reverse the spell. Their tracer spell thingy is leading them towards the library. In the library’s spooky mine of a basement, they come across a wall of collapsed rubble, sending them to find an alternative path because she’s supposedly right on the other side and we’re only 18 minutes into the episode.

Seriously. Somebody clue me in on what I missed here. Why Anna?

Seriously. Somebody clue me in on what I missed here. Why Anna?

 

In an Arendelle flashback, the castle thaws, including the folks inside, and Anna follows a sketchy clue to a patch towards Rumplestiltskin hold ye olde Elsa urn. But everyone thawing means that Hans has thawed as well, somehow already flanked by his brothers, ready to declare treason since Anna has technically just admitted to attacking the Queen. With a little sneakiness on Kristoff’s behalf, he and Anna manage to fight off the Of The Southern Isles family and flee.

Present day Hook is scoping out the docks, watching as a wall of ice rises out of the water around Storybrooke, too. Rumple is there to troll him, supplying the hat to Hook and ordering him to Hoover all of the Fairies into it. The only problem is that Belle is there, and Rumple’s got to extricate her from the building before Hook can do his dirty work. Hook realises that the Fairies demise will pretty much assure that the spell can’t be undone, and that Rumple is working with the Snow Queen. Rumple doesn’t deny it, giving very few fucks about the whole situation.

Life is like a box of chocolates... With razor blades in 'em.

Life is like a box of chocolates… With razor blades in ’em.

At Robin Hood’s camp, Regina arrives to tell them to scatter so that, if nothing else, the Merry Men don’t slaughter each other first. She send Henry to help them pack up, and Regina takes the moment to remember him looking at her with love in his eyes, because she’s dreading the moment she sees the hatred in his eyes.

He Frenches away her doubts.

He Frenches away her doubts.

 

In another Arendelle flashback, Anna and Kristoff catch their breath in the woods, planning to seek out the pirate Blackbeard to find a wishing star, as per her mother’s diary. More flashback finds us with Anna and Kristoff having just found Captain Blackbeard, asking for the sculpture of the wishing star… He tells them it’s theirs for the right price; his weight in gold. She’s totally down to pay that price… But Hans and his brothers show up out of nowhere AGAIN.

Why bother with Arendelle when you've clearly got this whole super-speed thing down?

Why bother with Arendelle when you’ve clearly got this whole super-speed thing down?

In Storybrooke, the Grumpy’s been brought in to inspect the mine collapse. The problem? It’ll take them time that they haven’t got. David gets a call from the Fairies saying that they can make the counter spell by removing the mirror dust from Anna’s necklace, but it would destroy the necklace.

Meaning that they would no longer have their guarantee to finding Anna.

Meaning that they would no longer have their guarantee to finding Anna.

In the meantime, Sophie’s Elsa’s choice is about to be made for her, since Rumple and Hook are all set to use their magical bug vacuum to get rid of their formerly winged womenfolk.

In the library, Regina is wondering why the delay, as it’s one woman’s life versus the entire town, but the Charming family is determined to not lose anyone. Hero talk, y’know. Regina reminds them that they’re not heroes but leaders, meaning that they’ve got to make decisions that are going to blow because somebody’s going to lose. Emma goes to retrieve the necklace pouch… NEVER CHECKING TO SEE IF THE NECKLACE IS INSIDE. Of course, Elsa has palmed it and heads into the mines herself.

Emma, apparently, doesn’t LEARN things. Remember the magic beans from Season 2? Either that, or she’s helping Elsa to be deceptive…

NEVER TRUST A BLONDE.

NEVER TRUST A BLONDE.

The Charmings plus Regina rush into Granny’s, where the Fairies are holed up, finding that Elsa as duped them. Regina makes a comment about the trustworthiness of blondes which, Ha! But it hardly matters because it’s pretty much too late at this point. Emma bolts, as their only shot is to actually go and help to find Anna and bring her happy ass back to Granny’s.

Emma arrives in time to catch Elsa blow through the wall… Coming out to the beach.

So, way to waste everyone's time, Elsa!

So, way to waste everyone’s time, Elsa!

 

Back in past Arendelle, Hans and all of his sideburns capture Anna and Kristoff, and he and Blackbeard take turns monologuing. Blackbeard knew her parents. Hans has taken all of Arendelle’s treasury and is going to take over the country and also murder the two of them. They sail to Poseidon’s Boneyard, where her parents bit the big one. Blackbeard shoves them into a trunk so as to ensure no mermaid saviours and, more monologuing later, Hans reveals that they’ve been frozen in Arendelle for 30 years.

So, hooray, Anna won’t have aged when/if (when) they find her.

Because, production values aside, the show DOES have a budget and aging Anna or casting an older version of her would be pushing it.

Because, production values aside, the show DOES have a budget and aging Anna or casting an older version of her would be pushing it.

In Storybrooke, the spell on the necklace has worn off.

In a trunk on the bottom of the ocean, Kristoff has managed to untie them so they can, like, hug and shit before they drown…

On the beach, Elsa clutches the necklace and wishes (<-WISHES) that she had been able to save her sister…

And a whirlpool opens and spits out the trunk and they hug and rejoice and Elsa actually takes the time to hug her again after Emma reminds them they’re on a schedule… And I bet Emma wishes Regina had taught her that little teleporting in a puff of smoke trick…

The whirlpool, before it closes, though, also spits out a certain message in a bottle.

Which they leave behind!

Which they leave behind!

At Granny’s, Rumple gets Belle out of there, “just in case the Fairies fail.” On their way, we learn that Anna is immune because she’s already had the spell cast on her.

What? No puns about how much this sucks?

What? No puns about how much this sucks?

But, inside, Hook is sucking up Fairies like a person going off of Atkins and straight into a bakery. Emma and the Arendellians arrive just after, blaming Ingrid for the destruction of the counter spell.

Rumple locks Belle in the shop and Hook gives him the hat, telling him that he’s choosing power over love, but Rumple’s not too keen on choosing.

Emma and company catch up with the Charmings at the police station, where their plan is to lock themselves in the cells and cuff Kristoff to the desk, and gve baby Neal to Emma to protect WHILE she fights the Snow Queen.

First of all, y'all REALLY need to figure out some kind of curse-proof babysitting situation. Second, is the baby gonna be affected by this curse, too? Like, is Emma going to be dealing with vengeance poops during all of this or what?

First of all, y’all REALLY need to figure out some kind of curse-proof babysitting situation. Second, is the baby gonna be affected by this curse, too? Like, is Emma going to be dealing with vengeance poops during all of this or what?

Hook arrives to give her a farewell kiss before heading off to chain himself to the docks, and they share a tearful kiss.

Mm, salty tears and snotty kisses.

Mm, salty tears and snotty kisses.

I guess everyone forgot that there’s a werewolf in this town since Ruby hasn’t been on the show since last season..? Man, I wish Ruby was still on the show.

Regina brings Henry to her secret office in the crypt, apologizing for the distraction of Robin Hood from OPERATION: Mongoose, promising to seal the room so that he’ll be safe. They hug and tell each other that they love each other. Regina and Robin Regina is heading to her vault to seal herself inside and the fear of her own actions in her eyes has me REALLY hoping that we get to see her tear loose and kill some motherfuckers because the bitch is a force to be reckoned with.

I'm sure all of those squiggles will hold her back, though.

I’m sure all of those squiggles will hold her back, though.

Robin, meanwhile, is going to chain himself to a tree… Oh, and Marian and Roland are hidden somewhere safe, where even he doesn’t know.

The last few shots are of each of the main characters, locked up wherever they are and looking to the sky or ceiling in dread of what’s about to come…

And the love visibly leaving the eyes of the Charmings.

Who are still completely within arms' reach of each other and could totally still harm each other.

Who are still completely within arms’ reach of each other and could totally still harm each other.

But really. I feel like a good amount of stuff came out of NOWHERE in this episode, but all that I care about is next week. I want Regina to bust out of her vault and the streets of Storybrooke to look like some shit straight out of Game of Thrones (sans incest, thank you very much). You can’t make a character so frightened of their own actions and then not use them or that’s just bad writing. I want to see hooks in guts, pickaxe-wiedling dwarves, and fireballs galore.

Boy, I hope everybody's wearing shoes because there is broken glass EVERYWHERE.

Boy, I hope everybody’s wearing shoes because there is broken glass EVERYWHERE.

Until then!

For dry eyes, use Clear Eyes! Or Visene! Or a counter-curse! Or just kill all of your enemies. Whatever.

For dry eyes, use Clear Eyes! Or Visene! Or a counter-curse! Or just kill all of your enemies. Whatever.

 

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About pattyinreallife

I'm a graphic artist, writer, film-maker, and avid baker. I sing in the car and laugh at the worst/best moments. I am the coolest nerd you will ever meet. Try not to let your jealousy show too badly.

Posted on December 1, 2014, in Once Upon a Time, TV Show Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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