True Blood Recap: Jesus Gonna Be Here

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True blood is back for its final season, I would say I am severely disappointed by this but after last season, it might be for the best. I have no idea what they were thinking last season. I won’t even get into how much the show has deviated from the books. I have watched True Blood since the beginning so it is only fair that I see it through to the end.  Even though I question why I am still watching this show, with that being said let’s check out what happened in the season premiere.

In case anyone needs a refresher from last season, Bill went crazy on the blood of Lilith well he was Lilith. Warlow tried to marry Sookie. Because of the crazy vampires who were on Lilith’s blood and the damage they did, a team of people made True Blood that contained Hep V, which makes vampires goes crazy. Now there are some Hep V vampires running around. Sam is mayor of Bon Temps now and is trying to protect people by having one vampire per person.


The episode start where the last one left off with the Hep V vampires attacking the vampire human mixer, all I have to say is that these vampires are completely wild and crazy.  Wow, these are like the vampires that nightmares are made of.  These vampire are running around killing people and taking others hostage.


The vampires that we all know and love are there are doing their best to stop and kill the Hep V vampires while trying to save humans.  Sam is doing his best as the mayor to protect the people of his town.  I know it was last season that Sam was elected mayor, but when did he up and decide, that was a good idea?  Was it because he knocked up that girl?  When does I got someone pregnant equal I should run a town.

After all the craziness dies down we are finally able to see what happened, Arlene, Holly, Sam’s baby’s momma (still preggers) and a few other people have been kidnapped.  While people are looking around to see who is, dead a sobbing wail can be heard which causes Sookie and a few others to go over and investigate.  Sobbing on the floor surrounded by blood and guts is Lettie May – Tara is dead.

Lettie May - Tara Death

WTF, in the first 5 min of the show a main cast member is gone.  It is the last season so they can do anything, the writers wanted to shows us that they can do anything.  Also I think they might be trying to tap into the Game of Thrones market since that is working so well (the most popular show on HBO, True Blood see what happens when you follow the books you keep viewers).  With all that being said, I will admit I was shocked by Tara’s death, once I got over that I realized who cares because Tara has been a worthless character this whole time.  They could have left her dead a few season’s ago and it would not have been a loss. Well, it was fun to see the Tara and Pam interactions so making her a vampire was not the worst thing.

Back on Merlottes or whatever it is called now that Sam doesn’t own it, people are inside trying to get over what happened.  Pretty much everyone in the town is blaming what happened on Sookie.


If she had not gotten involved with Bill and I am guessing Eric as well, I guess we can throw Warlow in – none of this would have happened.  I will admit I have a hard blaming this all on Sookie but people need someone to blame so why can’t it be Sookie.  The worst part of all this was the fact that Alcide was blaming her as well.  Alcide you just lost the good bf award for that thought especially when you know that your gf can read thoughts.  Also Sam’s opponent during the mayor race saw him shift back from being a dog, not a good thing.

Seeing Sam Shift

It was Sam’s fault if he had just followed Alcide who had also shifted and shifted back with him he would have never been discovered. We all know brains and intelligence is not one of True Blood or Bon Temps strengths.

Over at the Belfours house, Jessica is still trying to protect Adilyn since Jessica feels back for killing her sisters.  Andy gets a call telling him what happened and that Holly is kidnapped.  Andy leaves because he wants to find out what happened to Holly, he tells Adilyn not to let Jessica in.  Andy also informs Jessica that Tara is dead.


James (Jessica’s bf who has been recasted)


talks with Jessica and then goes home with Lafayette.  Well this scene was just amazing the bonding moment that James and Lafayette have.
James is an amazing and insightful person also who knew that vampires could go and get high.  Where was that all the other seasons because I don’t remember seeing that.  It would have been awesome to vampire smoking weed, dropping acid, snorting coke, and shooting heroin. Also I believe that James was implying that he likes guys does that mean we might see some action between him and Lafayette down the road.

Luke and Layfaette

Now Eric’s new little vampire spawn is with Lettie May and her husband protecting them.  Lettie May is freaking out because she thinks that Tara is talking to her and needs her help to get to Heaven.


If we all remember correctly that Layfaette can talk to spirits so maybe his aunt can or maybe she is just plan crazy.  Willa has a depressing moment because she is all alone, no Eric, no Pam and Tara was her roommate gets Reverend Daniels to pity her and lets her stay in the basement of the Church.

Adilyn feels bad that Jessica is out there all by herself and talks with her, they have a very cute girl moment.  A Hep V vampire shows up probably because he can smell Adilyn because well fairies smell amazing to vampires.  That is part of Sookie’s vampire pulling power her amazing fairy smell.

Jessica protect Aidlyn

Jessica tries to protect Adilyn from the vampire, which included getting to Adilyn to drink her blood so that she will always know where she is.  Adilyn notices that it will be dawn soon and urges Jessica to seek shelter but Jessica won’t leave.  Adilyn does the only thing she can think of and invites Jessica in.  Jessica almost eats Adilyn because she is hunger and Adilyn has an even more amazing fairy smell.

Jessica and Aidlyn

Jessica doesn’t and heads up to the attic to wait out the sun while the Hep V vampire burns in the sun.  Was I the only person watching this scene yelling for Aidilyn to use her light, seriously what is the point of having a half fairy running around on the show if she doesn’t use her fairy abilities.

Andy and Jason split up to check out the only 2 places possible in Bon Temp for these vampires to be hiding out.  Jason leaves with Violet and Andy leaves with Bill.  As Jason and Violet arrive at their place they discover that some of the towns people are they’re planning on killing the vampires.  Let’s be fair these people would get killed in a second because the Hep V vampires are no joke.  Jason tells them all to go home but its Violet going all vampire on them that scares them away.  Jason and Violet are driving home but Jason gets pissed and gets out of the car. He is unhappy with how Violet handled the situation, seriously Jason this is what you get for getting involved with an older more experiences vampire, Jessica was child’s play.  Jason is also really pissed off that Violet has not let him fuck her yet.  I have no idea how Jason has gone that long because we all know how much he loves sex.  Finally getting some balls because Jason needed some, he tells Violet that they are going to fuck and that they are going to enjoy it.

Jason finally fucks Violet

Apparently that is what the psycho possessive vampire has been waiting for this whole time.  We get the first sex scene of the season of course it was Jason.

Andy enters the other place with Bill, only to find dead hanging bodies and beds.  They have found the lair of the crazy Hep V vampires.  The town’s people that Violet scared off show put there and want to kill Bill.  Andy tells them that they are welcome to but he wants to watch because of all Bill has done to his family.  Really the worst thing Bill did to them was be related to them, that was Bill’s daughters fault.  Andy gets the gun away from one of the guys and convinces the town people to leave.


I guess these town folks are not going to be killing any vampires this night.  Even though Andy saved Bill they are not friends, not that anyone thought they would be Andy is really good at holding a grudge.

Sookie pissed off about what everyone was thinking included Alcide decides to walk off home and throws her phone away when Alcide calls.  I don’t see that being a smart move because last time I checked you were a poor waitress.  Alcide arrives at the house mad that Sookie walked home by herself.  Alcide we all know Sookie is not all that bright and does really dumb things because she wants to attract vampires to her.  Sookie is mad at Alcide for what he thought; I’ll give her that one.  After a slight fight between them Alcide goes up to bed.  Sookie joins him later where they both apologize and go to have sex.  Well its HBO and True Blood so sex it a thing, especially after how little of it happened last season.

Over in Morocco Pam is playing a death game where her and another guy are taking chances on how often they can pull the trigger on the gun and not get shot.  These scene had some of the most amazing Pam snark.


Since Pam survived, she gets to go and find out more information where Eric is.  It looks like Eric did not die when he was chilling on the ice naked in the sun reading a book.  After turning down drinking from a kid Pam gets a map to where Eric is and she cannot believe that he would go there.

Back in the US we see, Holly, Arlene, Sam’s pregnant girl and another guy chained up in the basement of Fangtasia.


Seriously, no one thought to check Fangtasia for these crazy vampires.  Seriously, Fangtasia is the prefect place to high out, it is vampire ready and it even has a human holding center.  Arlene freaks out when the vampire comes down to kill them but he chooses the random other guy to eat.  I guess one main character death is enough in one episode, it looks like we will be seeing these guys for a bit longer.

The next day in Church, Sam is trying to talk to the people about what happened and how to protect themselves.

Sookie Church

Sookie enters into Church and tries to give her condolences to Lettie May but Lettie May blames Sookie and tells her she is not welcome in the Church.  Then we hear that everyone else is thinking the same thing.  Sookie goes to leave but not before:

I have to say first episode was not bad, I thought I would have way more to make fun of.  Even though this episode was not bad, I still don’t have high hopes for the season mainly because the last few season of True Blood the writers and creators have been pulling out of their ass.  Not to mention the preview for the upcoming season has a slight Walking Dead look to it that I think they are trying to capitalize on the zombie thing by having basically vampire zombies.  Yea, again the writers and creators are pulling shit out of their asses.  At least we know to be on our toes because they might decide to kill some more main characters.  It was nice to see all the cast regulars and newcomers so we know what has been going on and where everyone falls.  Also Pam searching Eric should be fun to watch and are all wondering what happened to him.


Let’s just hope that the writers don’t decide to make the whole season about finding Eric and that we don’t see him until the very end.  I am sorry but that will make for a very boring season because we all want to find out what happened to Eric and drawing that out will just piss off fans.

Until next week when we see more sex and zombie vampires.

Posted on June 25, 2014, in True Blood, TV Show Reviews and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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