New 52 Comic Review – “Wonder Woman” #28

Last issue Zola went off with Dio (who I just figured out is supposed to be short for Dionysus), freaked out on him when he turned a bunch of normal humans into pigs right in front of her, Circe Style, and then ran into a Minotaur controlled by Cassandra.

So, let’s see where Wonder Woman is.

Well, she’s in the London Undergound, using Artemis (often referred to as “Moon” or “Hunter” in this issue and it’s driving me nuts) to track her.

Subtle as ever, 1/4 of the gods. Good job.

Subtle as ever, 1/4 of the gods. Good job.

 

Apollo keeps reminding Diana that she doesn’t trust Artemis, and she just lets him talk. They need her help. Also, like, five pages ago, he was on her shit list, so he really ought to calm his tits. Hera tosses him a barb. Diana refuses to let their shit get to her.

Seriously. She's such a C-word in Superman/Wonder Woman. Do the writers just not talker to each other, or..?

Seriously. She’s such a C-word in Superman/Wonder Woman. Do the writers just not talker to each other, or..?

 

Zola’s scent ends at the plastic chairs by the station, but Artemis picks up Dionysus’ and dismisses Diana’s concern that she may have gotten onto one of the trains. She says that Dionysus never takes public transportation, and she’ll just start following his trail.

Good to know the man is shedding... Knowing Dionysus, it's a raging STD. He should get that looked at....

Good to know the man is shedding… Knowing Dionysus, it’s a raging STD. He should get that looked at….

 

Meanwhile, in Provence, Dio is looking for Zola in the rapidly darkening woods.

That bitches don't like unexpected transfiguration?

That bitches don’t like unexpected transfiguration?

 

Zola rushes back towards him through the woods, because of reasons.

Mainly that reason.

Wait for it.

Mainly that reason.

Mainly that reason.

 

Meanwhile, on Olympus, things aren’t going so well for Apollo. What with the being strangled by the newly-freed First Born.

SOMEbody's got some issues....

SOMEbody’s got some issues….

 

But it’s okay because Apollo’s a motherfucking Street Fighter.

HADOUKEN!

HADOUKEN!

Uuuuuunfortunately……

Yeah. Not so bueno.

Yeah. Not so bueno.

Back in France, Zola’s trying to get Dio to turn the Minotaur into a pig. But he’s got another plan.

What you should do is take a minute to wax the Minotaur, amiright?

What you should do is take a minute to wax the Minotaur, amiright?

 

Of course, expecting fucking vines to hold the Minotaur at bay is kind of not the best idea…

As illustrated here. And then in several other panels.

As illustrated here. And then in several other panels.

 

Diana and her entourage have arrived at the patio where Dio was “treating” his “guests,” and they quickly follow the sounds of “RRRAAAHHHRRR”-ing coming from the forest nearby. They dart off into the woods, and Hera is told to stay put.

Somebody also should have told her by now to not eat whatever she just fucking finds lying around. Hera pig MIA next issue, anyone?

Somebody also should have told her by now to not eat whatever she just fucking finds lying around. Hera pig MIA next issue, anyone?

 

In the forest, the Minotaur has beaten the immortal fuck out of Dio and is dragging him back through the woods towards Cassandra’s ship. Zola realizes that he was never after her… But she dismisses the fact that it’s a bad idea to follow him, and follows him, trying to help despite her relative helplessness.

Back on Olympus, the battle still rages on. Mostly because Apollo doesn’t realise that repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is one of the first definitions of madness.

Um, because you're supposed to be gods, bro. That's kind of in the definition.

Um, because you’re supposed to be gods, bro. That’s kind of in the definition.

 

The Minotaur carries his quarry onto the airship, but the Hyena men realise that they have some guests… Because really, Apollo’s got to smell delicious like chicken (so, yeah, delicious).

I really do love how blase everybody is about the animal human hybrids and the gods just running around, fucking with shit.

I really do love how blase everybody is about the animal human hybrids and the gods just running around, fucking with shit.

 

Like a crazy bitch, Artemis is psyched about the hunt, but Wonder Woman warns her to chill the fuck out and stay on the defensive.

Thank goodness SOMEone's thinking!

Thank goodness SOMEone’s thinking!

 

Cassandra opts to make her escape while the fighting is going on, because fuck her minions. She’s really cavalier about the fact that acolytes are easy to make and/or come by. Like, “Hey, we’ll just put out another ad on Craigslist. No worries! Let’s roll!”

But, HELLO, meaningful locking of the eyes!

But, HELLO, meaningful locking of the eyes!

 

They try to make their escape, but this is Wonder Woman we’re talking about here, so she latches onto the ship after taking a mighty leap. This does leave me to wonder who the fuck is going to take care of Zola, the baby, and Hera, though, since we’ve established the dubious trustworthiness of all of the gods, let alone Apollo and Artemis, and especially Apollo and Artemis together.

That shit still looks like it closed on your fingers, girl. Ouch.

That shit still looks like it closed on your fingers, girl. Ouch.

 

Cassandra’s aim, meanwhile, was to kidnap one of the Olympians and “persuade” them into revealing the location of Mount Olympus… Because nobody thought to just use Google Maps, I guess. I mean, c’mon, guys! It’s a geographically located mountain!

But, either way, it doesn’t matter, because Dio is psyched at the prospect of directing her right to Olympus… And right to facing off with Apollo.

He looks like he wants popcorn for THIS fight.

He looks like he wants popcorn for THIS fight.

 

But back on Olympus, which kind of looks more like Stark Tower than anything else, the First Born has gotten the upper hand. And, of course, he starts monologuing.

I mean, technically, if he is the FIRST Born......

I mean, technically, if he is the FIRST Born……

 

He tells Apollo that his plan is to kill all of the Greek deities, all of his family, and rule Olympus. He literally says that he just wants to sit on the chair alone. Which… I mean, which is weird. Right? You just want a fancy chair? Not to actually lord over them, but just slaughter them and be alone? Weren’t you pissed because you were alone, and locked away for eons in the first place?

But Apollo is super not okay with this plan. Whether it’s because he doesn’t want to lose the throne, or lose Olympus, or for his family to befall that fate, he’s not having it.

 

Which is also a thing you never want to say to a being already intent on killing you, bro.

Which is also a thing you never want to say to a being already intent on killing you, bro.

Apollo expends all of his energy, blowing himself up, but also getting the First Born caught in the explosion… And all of Mount Olympus, Inc.

But, of course, we've got to realise that that's not gonna kill this MoFo.

But, of course, we’ve got to realise that that’s not gonna kill this MoFo.

 

So, this whole arc is moving towards war over ruling the gods. The First Born is willing to let the world burn just to be king (“King of Ashes” is the title according to the teaser for the next issue). Orion was brought in some time ago, bringing the “New Gods” into the New 52 Universe, so perhaps the rest of that will come in with the impending deaths of the Greek gods, the old gods.

Actually, it would be interesting if they killed off the Greek gods, brought in the New Gods, and that was a whole segue into a Darkseid storyline, especially with the World’s Finest/Superman-Batman crossover going on right now. To see the events of Earth-2 start to bleed into Earth Prime’s goings on? Bring back the Multiverse!

But, back to this book, this war between the gods, to become leader, and to rule those who rule as Cassandra would want, is interesting especially, or perhaps only because Diana is a god, too, now. Remember that she’s the current goddess of war. While I thought that that might be DC’s way of turning the character dark, because that is kind of their schtick nowadays, what with being fueled by war and rage, and violence and death, for now it’s just looking more and more like they’re trying to set Diana up for a place of leadership amongst the Pantheon. Which would be cool, and really would switch up the status quo of the character, but I’m not so certain that that would be such a good thing.

I’ve been adamant in the past that a lot of the characters who need something to make them more interesting are simply missing a cast of supporting characters (*cough* Supergirl *cough*). When we see the doing battle, sure it’s exciting, but it’s also great to see them dealing with normal problems of the powerless. Every day relationships. That’s why Spider-Man took off when he was first created. Spider-Man was exciting, but Peter Parker was still trying to live his life, and it was compelling to a whole mess of readers. Clark’s secret identity is a point of dissension between him and Diana right now, and although I hardly want to encourage the writers to get them together any more than they already are, maybe she needs to see how the other half lives.

I miss Diana Prince, damn it!

And while it’d be awesome to see a cosmically powerful Wonder Woman being the HBIC, I don’t think that it’s going to make for a particularly interesting read.

But then, hey, there’s also baby Zeke to consider. Maybe iyt’ll end up First Born versus last born.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

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About pattyinreallife

I'm a graphic artist, writer, film-maker, and avid baker. I sing in the car and laugh at the worst/best moments. I am the coolest nerd you will ever meet. Try not to let your jealousy show too badly.

Posted on February 22, 2014, in DC Comics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Good review, thanks for posting the pics as well. I’m big on imagery, and I love the artist’s style in the comics.

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