Monthly Archives: December 2013

Comic Review – World’s Finest #18

Alright, bitches, let’s try to do this thing more often…

wf018-cover

OMG The cover clearly states– ! Oh, wait, never mind. Nuclear Schmuclear.

Picking up from where last issue left off, Karen’s powers have gone haywire after an attempt to recharge her powers by chillin’ in front of the sun results in her being too charged up when her powers kick back in (because that’s what’s been happening this whole time and HOW COULD SHE THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA I THOUGHT YOUR WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART KAREN), and Helena’s solution is to tie PG’s ankles to a tug boat because her lack of leverage during flight (<- How do they catch airplanes when flying and shit, then?) will enable to boat to be strong enough to drag her down AND NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

WHY?! Why did you think this was a good idea?!?!

WHY?! Why did you think this was a good idea?!?!

The Tattooed Lady, who is referred to as “Tats” because, y’know, bad writing, is begging a servant of a demon statue guy named Xazdi to remove her powers so that she can become normal again, but he basically says, “Naw, bitch,” and it’s all the pep talk she needs!

 

It's kind of "Be careful what you wish for" but with more idiocy and self satisfaction.

It’s kind of “Be careful what you wish for” but with more idiocy and self satisfaction.

Back in some apartment in Manhattan, Helena and Karen muse on whether the people they lost on Earth 2 still live on as doppelgangers on this planet. Helena is dismissive of the notion, not too keen on opening herself up for fear of losing them again (and also because that’s why EVERYONE is closed off in fiction, nowadays) and Karen is still enamoured of the idea of not just their loved ones but also colleagues, teachers, even ex-boyfriends just living their lives, untouched by the horrors of Apokalips. Helena derails that train of through by reminding her that they still have to find the murderous Tits Tats. The friends place a friendly wager on who can find their villain first. Karen figures that super-speed and x-ray vision will do the trick, but Helena’s too lazy to put on pant and resorts to the Interwebs.

I don't think that's how Google StreetView works...

I don’t think that’s how Google StreetView works…

Hel finds her first and apparently fucking teleports to Brooklyn to catch Tats. She takes her down, ties her up, and then seems to forget that she’s dealing with a Meta-Human here as Tats is able to activate her, well, her Tats. She frees herself and runs to her demon statue and, when Helena rushes in after her, the statue comes to life (like ya do) and strangles Huntress. Luckily, Power Girl bursts in to save her, claiming that she never actually went to look for Tats, opting instead to follow Helena and cheat off of her work like the slow kid in middle school.

Boobs. Everywhere. As far as the eye can see.

Boobs. Everywhere. As far as the eye can see.

Karen ties the inky tattoos up but her powers fade right after she talks some shit. Her brilliant solution? Take Huntress’s crossbow and fire it at the creature’s heart which she assumes is going to be in the same place as a human’s… And… The demon blows up?!

Um.... Yeah, girl.

Um…. Yeah, girl.

The issue closes on the two of them eating a meal that Helena bought, despite the fact that she one their earlier wager, because… I dunno, because Karen is kind of a brat? The two discuss Karen’s powers situation and what they can do about it…

Ooh, subtle...

Ooh, subtle…

When “World’s Finest” first released, it was one of my favourite books. I really enjoyed how the two friends played off of each other, how we got to see glimpses of their lives back on Earth 2 (and their first Annual is coming out next month, featuring Supergirl and Robin of Earth 2, so that should be cool), how they’re acclimating to life on Earth Prime… But the excitement quickly fizzled as the storyline following Desaad kind of went nowhere, the Darkseid connection left hanging, and then spending issues following uninteresting and ultimately not terribly formidable adversaries. This “Tats” chick and her arc?

RHAAAAAR!

RHAAAAAR!

I just don’t care. Like, at all.

So, since next month starts the crossover between World’s Finest and Batman/Superman, I’m hoping to finally give a fuck again.

 

See you next week, True Believers.

 

 

Starving Games – the worst spoof ever.

Movie Poster

Movie Poster

Being the obsessed Hunger Games fan that I am, I had to check out The Starving Games.  Well I just lost like an hour and half of my life that I am not going to be able to get back.  I appreciate a good spoof, I love Star Wars and I am huge fan of Spaceballs.  With that being said, no one can do a spoof like Mel Brooks.  The Starving Games was the worst movies ever.  I am going to tell you why because that is what people do when they experience something horrible.

Lets put in a bathroom joke because those are funny

Lets put in a bathroom joke because those are funny

Basically The Starving Games used every joke cliché that it could think of; the bathroom joke, the dead person not waiting to die, the foot in ass, “Hugh Janus” plus some more, , and of course a really dumb sex scene.  These were not all the dumb jokes used there was also the; trying to climb the tree but can’t, only to find a ladder next to it, the walk around the tree but never see each other, and of course the bird pooping on the face.

Bird pooping on the face - yes they do the ton of poop right afterwards.

Bird pooping on the face – yes they do the ton of poop right afterwards.

They had the really dumb fight scene that is really just a joke, which might have been interesting if they did not pull a Sherlock Holmes where “Katniss” saw/thought how is was going to go before hand.  To see that scene done twice was just too much.  I understand when you make a spoof you are trying to make fun of the original movie but this one I think they just threw everything and anything they could think of in the movie.  If it was a dumb joke, they basically used it.   I am not sure about the rest of you but I find most of these jokes played out.

They are telling us how to get you medical help.

They are telling us how to get you medical help.

I am not opposed to adding in other movies and fandom’s into a spoof, but it should be done well.  The Harry Potter reference was Harry, Ron and Hermione walking towards the reaping and Harry’s wand being broken as he is told his franchise it over.  Basically they just wanted to make fun of Harry Potter.  They had LMFAO playing in the arena and then blew them up.  It was basically lets put in a popular band that everyone likes.  After they could not kill “Katniss” they threw an angry bird at her and then fruit which she cut with a sword.  Really, that was how can we add some popular games into the movie.  Avatar was thrown in because yea, what else would happen while she is hallucinating. Naturally we should have James Cameron in the movie as well showing off how rich he is, that really makes sense.  If you thought LMFAO was the going to be the only musical guest nope, lets just throw Taylor Swift and PSY in for no reason other then they are popular.  Lets have a LOTR reference since the Hobbit movies have been coming out and lets make them perverts who are feeling up on “Peeta and Katniss.”

Obviously LOTR should be in the movie

Obviously LOTR should be in the movie

The Expendables were sent in to kill them; yea… that scene was just really dumb. It just made no sense at all except to be like oh lets put this into the movie because it would be cool.

Lets put the Expendables in the movie because people like those movies

Lets put the Expendables in the movie because people like those movies

At the very end of the movie they added the Avengers naturally it would be a great idea to put in the Avengers they are popular right now.  No, it wasn’t they made no sense to the storyline at all.

Of course we have to put in the Avengers everyone loves them

Of course we have to put in the Avengers everyone loves them

I am still not sure if they were making fun of or if these were sponsors but “Seneca’s” beard had Nike, Starbucks, Mac, McDonalds, and H&M logos at any given point.  I just did not get this; I would have thought they were making fun of Apple but used iPads and iPhones in the movie.  Siri actually controlled what happened in the arena, so unless they were making fun of all that she can do, it kinda seemed like they liked Apple.  I could be wrong and they could have been making fun of how much people use Apple products.  If that is what they were doing, that joke failed because it is not fully obvious.  I will give them points for trying to make an actual real joke.

Death by bread

Death by bread

I could go into way more detail about how bad this movie is but I really want to forget that I ever saw it.  If I could wipe it from my memory completely I would.  It was the worst possible hour and half of my life.  I didn’t even bother to learn the spoof names because those were just dumb.  I am always open to check out spoofs of anything that I enjoy.  Lets be fair there all movies can be made fun of, I can respect that as long as it is done right.  No, this was not at all.  Do yourselves a favor DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.  Just don’t do it, it is not worth it.

– Christena

What’s New, 52? – Mid December Edition

Hello, Fangirls, and Happy Holidays!

Let’s get down to business…

ToDefeatTheHuns-1

HUHN!

Excuse me. As always, Some reviews may be more expansive than others (because sometimes I just don’t care). Anywho, jumping right in:

REVIEW TIME:

Batgirl #25 – This issue was a “Zero Year” story, following Barbara dealing with a natural disaster in Gotham and all of it’s complications. Rather than this being a Batgirl story, we simply see a younger, pre-Bat Babs trying to protect her brother.

Batgirl and James

Y’know, the psychopathic one that she apparently killed a few issues back? Yeah, that one.

CopDad Jim Gordon orders them to stay in the house as he goes out to help and, like, five minutes later, another officer bangs on the door and orders them to evacuate. So, Barbara throws her whole life into a backpack and straps on a MOLLE/tactical vest because of reasons and she and James Jr. head to a local community centre/refugee camp. At this second location, while James Jr. bemoans the water leaking from the ceiling and Babs meets a behemoth of a man who assures her he’s but a humble gentle giant, the building collapses into a massive sinkhole and Barbara proves that climbing the rope in gym class really does have real-world applications and she climbs to safety, even occasionally diving back into the water to save people in what is an obvious and desperate cry for help, herself.

All the red flags... I can't even.

All the red flags… I can’t even.

She almost slips and the Giant saves her. The group begins to hop along across rooftops, keeping moving because building inspectors don’t exist in Gotham City and every-fucking-thing’s about to collapse. Of course, inevitably, the group is separated when Giant Guy is crossing and the steel ladder  they’ve been using as a bridge inexplicably collapses (because that happens). He urges the others to throw their belongings across the gap so that they themselves will be lighter and he can catch them when they jump… Then he promptly apologizes for his impending douchebaggery and makes to abscond with their treasures. Barbara sees him hoist the bag which has her most treasured shit she threw into a sack on her way out of the door and it leads her to leap across the gap between roofs and tackle a man she admittedly couldn’t possibly take on. She promptly defeats him by throwing him off of a roof after, of course, letting go of the material possessions she tackled him for in the first place.

I'm sure this is supposed to appear heroic or hopeful or some other bullshit...

I’m sure this is supposed to appear heroic or hopeful or some other bullshit…

The issue ends with the group of survivors on this last rooftop (don’t ask me how they all got across). That’s right. It ends. Just like that. So, we learn that Barbara is insanely lucky, kind of stupid RE: self-preservation, and anti-materialistic at the flip of a hypocritical switch.

Not the finest issue and I have no idea why there needed to be a break between issues of a single arc.

——

Batwoman #25 – “Zero Year” continues. Kate Kane travels home from West Point to Gotham to attend the funeral of her murdered uncle Phil. Cameos by Alfred and Bruce ensue, the latter speaking with an old-timey formality about justice and criminals and all that jazz. As a storm is rolling in, she decides to sneak out and take on some burglars and would-be murderers. She does so, saving a young boy in the process, and catching the eye of a fresh-faced Sawyer when the police arrive. Aaaand that’s pretty much it. So far, all of the Zero Year stories have been pretty mediocre…

——

Birds of Prey #26 – Another “Zero Year” story, this time following a young Black Canary before the fishnets. She was homeless, abandoned, dumpster diving, until a martial arts instructor found her and trained her. She eventually took over his dojo, but a disaster in Gotham (not sure if it’s the same one from Batgirl) ends with the building burning to the ground. She isn’t there until it’s too late to salvage, instead fighting off looters and ninjas, but she is saved from a return to life on the streets when some dude from the government who she’s just met up and offers her a job. Another issue with very little in the way of substance.

——

Catwoman #25 – Fuck me. “Zero Year.” HO-kay… Selina Kyle is a petty thief who snatches some douchebag’s backpack, only to find it full of rock-climbing equipment (including a grappling gun, somehow). The stuff is valuable, but she can’t sell it because a bad storm is rolling in and bitches only wanna buy food, water, fuel, etc. Her local grocery store is run by a good man named Mr. Archuleta who Selina actually consciously refuses stealing from, since he’s up at the front of the store, imposing a ration so that everyone will at least get something. Of course, an insanely wealthy man named Arnett Crocker shows up in person with two goons to load up everything in the store into a single black van so that he can throw an end-of-the-world party for his rich buddies. Selina tries to stop him by scratching one of the goons in the face, but end up being socked in the face.

Incidentally, she rather consistently does NOT know what is good for in this issue...

Incidentally, she rather consistently does NOT know what is good for in this issue…

As would we all in this situation, a completely green Selina uses the rock-climbing equipment to infiltrate Crocker’s party from the rooftop. She arrives and changes into a long black dress with an impressive slit and her hair done up and introduces herself to the shindig’s host. On the way, we pass familiar faces like Oswald Cobblepot (the Penguin) and Basil Karlo (Clayface).

Her inner monologue claims to throw up in her mouth. She's not alone.

Her inner monologue claims to throw up in her mouth. She’s not alone.

Crocker tkes her towards one of his “back rooms (blech),” passing throw a masquerade of escorts in various costumes, a casino room, a circus room for some reason… But their walk is interrupted by the goon Selina scratched earlier telling the boss that “that guy” he’s expecting is here. He doesn’t recognize Selina, and she watches through the peephole to see exactly what kind of exchange is happening behind that closed door. Crocker presents an unknown buyer with a selection of prototype batteries, stolen by Black Mask the previous week. They are what is powering his entire building at the moment… But Selina’s eavesdropping is interrupted by the reappearing of the goon (not wearing the bandage he sported in the previous shot and also having no scabs in a moment of lazy colouring).

Crocker orders her death, and Selina teases that the dress isn’t the only thing she found in the back room…

Why would you choose such an awkward weapon if you have no experience with it?!

Why would you choose such an awkward weapon if you have no experience with it?!

She disarms the goon with the knife and the buyer with a gun and catches Crocker around the neck with her new toy. She inventories herself as she ties the men up and swipes the batteries, turning to find– .

Is this even a question?

Is this even a question?

She uses the batteries to power her own block (including Archie’s Grocery), and muses on her own lack of mad skillz, but looks towards practicing her craft of master thievery. Of all of the “Zero Year” stories, this is probably the best, and that’s really something considering how much I don’t enjoy the regular Catwoman series issues. There was an origin, a conflict, and a resolution. Y’know, like there really should be in a one-shot. Of course, just because something is entertaining doesn’t mean it’s necessarilly good, as Selina’s inner monologue constantly noting the fact that she’s inexperienced, winging it, and generally a poor decision-maker is pretty awkward. Like, why are you doing this, then?!

Next month’s episode is teased with the tagline “Catwoman at ROCK BOTTOM!” See you, Selina.

——

Earth 2 #17 – This being the Fangirl Perspective, we are focusing on the character of Lois Lane in this series, even as her consciousness has been downloaded into the Red Tornado. Soooooo brief recap: Superman is brainwashed and evil. He is tearing shit APART, and the only thing stopping him from drilling into the army base like wet TP is the Flash. The speedster’s brilliant plan?

I THREW A ROCK AT HIM! ...It was a BIG one.

I THREW A ROCK AT HIM! …It was a BIG one.

Below ground, Major Sato faces off against Batman OR DOES SHE? It turns out, this cowled man isn’t Bruce! He is, however, super strong and apparently invulnerable and, just as we’re about to find out who he is, RedTornado! Lois shows up to pry him away from Sato.

SUPER sad face...

SUPER sad face…

Sato shoots Batman in the head, he survives, and goes to free Aquawoman from one of many shady-ass stasis pods used to detain criminals and enemies of the state (more on that later). Half-way around the world, the Flash is leading Superman on a foot chase, but evil Supes uses Darkseid-style unnecessarily-bendy-heat-vision to knock him over, then swoops in to grab and crush his ankle, and then return to the Arkham Command rubble to capture Mr. Terrific and Co-Commander Sloan for Apokolips.

I want YOU for the Apokolips Army!

I want YOU for the Apokolips Army!

Back underground, Batman is freeing his second of three targets from a blacked-out canister, telling Lois that it’s been blacked out to hide the atrocities of the world army. It turns out to be a young Jimmy Olsen, the solitary force behind a hacker group called “Accountable” that systematically released classified government records. Hooray for social commentary! Jimmy takes it pretty well in stride that he’s waking up from stasis, seemingly actually relieved that it’s not the year 3000, hello Futurama reference. He asks if any of them has a phone.

Of course Sato has one... Haha, Asians...

Of course Sato has one… Haha, Asians…

Jimmy sees that Parademons are invading from fire pits all over the world, and Batman veers off from the group towards his third target, even as Aquawoman (who hates that name, BTW) urges them to leave. Batman moves purposefully towards the Joker, suspended in his own tubey chamber thing, and Sato moves to intercept; she will not let him release such a monster. But Batman has another idea and reaches for a GUN on his utility belt.

Oh, Lois. He WANTED to see that! The only thing that would make the moment better for him would be if there were boobs involved!

Oh, Lois. He WANTED to see that! The only thing that would make the moment better for him would be if there were boobs involved!

Now, with a bloodied and SUPER dead Joker left behind, Batman is ready to lead an independently capable group of strong women to battle an unstoppable force, even though nobody knows who the fuck he is behind that cowl (although I’m betting Jason Todd, somehow, ’cause of guns and stuff).

I actually mildly enjoyed the issue. This series is promising, although I have to wonder how long this ongoing series is going to be, as well as whether we’re going to see any interaction in the Batman/Superman/World’s Finest crossover next month… It really helps that this is an alternate universe; I don’t care quite as much about discrepancies since it’s not the main universe… Come to think of it, they should just go ahead and reveal that the New 52 is just an alternate universe and the old universe is still out there! You’re welcome, DC.

——

Harley Quinn #0 – I have NO fucking idea what I just read. Panel after panel of breaking the fourth wall, wherein Harley realises she’s in a comic, wants to pick the artist herself, and writers Palmiotti and Conner talk to her all along the way. The comedy fell flat, the name-dropping intolerable, and Conner’s complete Mary Sue moment really ruined this for me…

Please. This wasn't cool when BATMAN did it.

Please. This wasn’t cool when BATMAN did it.

Let’s hope the first actual issue is worth my time.

——

Supergirl #025 – This is part 3 of the “Krypton Returns” trainwreck storyline. Supergirl is in the clutches of H’El, her evil ex-boyfriend (gag) who is still fucking trying to resurrect Krypton at the expense of Earth/the Universe/whatever it is this time. She bemoans his betrayals and bitches about the Kryptonite poisoning, then hits him in the face and picks up a spear, and through these couple of pages, we see three awkward shots of her ass.

SUPER-WEDGIE.

SUPER-WEDGIE.

Also, in this issue, Superman muses on the bittersweet moment he got to meet and speak to his biological mother (but his thoughts are interrupted by his uniform changing due to time-travely hijinks and the appearance of some unseen character mocking the change), and Superboy battles a weird-ass version of the Eradicator* as a slightly younger (and much more lively/much less angsty) Kara Zor-El is kind of useless, but at least she doesn’t hate Kon yet. Superboy can’t kill him, so, instead, he punts the Eradicator into a portal and the creature thunks straight into Smallville, Kansas.

Aw, he gets a hug! ...Before they kill him off and replace him with Superboy Prime and Kara goes back to indiscriminately hating all clones.

Aw, he gets a hug! …Before they kill him off and replace him with Superboy Prime and Kara goes back to indiscriminately hating all clones.

H’El shows up at that moment, trying to kill Kon, even as he is simultaneously fighting Supergirl in another timeline. Both heroes are able to figure that out, and the two try to take advantage of that fact. BUT! Before Supergirl can prove that she isn’t totally useless, an alternate timeline version of Kon tackles H’El and Supergirl makes the giant-but-apparently-accurate leap in logic: “When I defeated Kon, did I become their leader– And now it’s the tribal instinct of the clones to protect me?” H’El, who already has gone on about how he’s not Kryptonian and how he’s a singularity, is outraged at the clones’ behaviour, so… I guess H’El is a clone?

In the very last panel, Supergirl has hoisted a spear (and is holding it backwards) and is about to engage H’El as her randomly devoted, face-tattooed clone army cheers her on. The suspense is killing me! Will Kon survive? Who was talking to Clark? Just how useless is Kara? What of H’El or the Eradicator? Will I care?!

Tonight! We dine! In H'El! ...Wait.

Tonight! We dine! In H’El! …Wait.

*(SIDE-NOTE: He refers to himself as the embodiment of entropy, but he also maintains that he is going to ensure that everyone who is going to die on Krypton is going to die on Krypton. HOWEVER, entropy is a decline into disorder. Death is not disorder. Death is perfect order. So, basically, bad writing strikes again.)

——

Superman/Wonder Woman #2 – *Swallows the vomit* Okay, let’s get this over with… The issue picks up where last left off, with Diana and Clark saving a ship or something (who remembers?) but the former being sidelined by a punch to the face from (drumroll, please) — DOOMSDAY! For those who maybe weren’t aware, Superman never died in the New 52. He and Doomsday have never met let alone come to blows. So, the first to meet the monster is Diana, who is promptly suckerpunched and has both of her arms broken.

An inauspicious start to what is sure to be a life-long friendship.

An inauspicious start to what is sure to be a life-long friendship.

There is a moment here where the Amazon thinks to herself, “Okay, your arms aren’t your only weapons, you can fly, etc.” But we never get to see that pan out because the issue takes an awkward jump to Superman placing the ship he’d previously lifted out of the water back into the water. He asks her if she’s alright, and she responds with something along the lines of, “Oh, yeah, totes. I mean, my broken arms are already healed because I’m a bastard child of Zeus and stuff.” But she does remark about never having been hit that hard. Superman takes her to the Fortress of Solitude (TM) and a page and a half of exposition later, we find that the Kryptonians had imprisoned Doomsday in the Phantom Zone, but that the barrier between ours and that dimension must be weakening. What that would make Doomsday appear on Earth instead of Krypton, I do not know. Clark worries, but Diana places a reassuring hand on his giant pectorals and tells him that he is going to win because he’s not just mighty but also a good ol’ Kansas farm boy… With a fucking demi-goddess for a girlfriend.

Yeah, bitch, what use were you last time? Now you're gonna be Superman's sidekick?!

Yeah, bitch, what use were you last time? Now you’re gonna be Superman’s sidekick?!

In the next scene, Diana has taken Clark to see Hephaestus about weapons, and their conversation alludes to him possibly constructing a suit of divine armour. Their scheming is interrupted by Apollo and Strife, who then proceed to belittle Superman just like my family at Thanksgiving the Greek gods are known to. Apollo calls Superman (due to his Alien heritage) an inhuman “thing” and says it doesn’t even bother him who Diana chooses to “slut around with.” Superman asks Apollo to clarify their definition of “god” and, satisfied, tells Apollo that he’s glad that he won’t have to hold back if the new ruler of Olympus disses his boo-tay like that again.

Super bitchslap, super satisfying.

Super bitchslap, super satisfying.

Then we see a brief moment of Cat Grant from the Daily Planet leaving him an angry voicemail… So, I guess Lois and Clark can’t even be partners in journalism.

Fuckers.

Ahem. So, Diana freaks out with a massive “NO!” because Clark’s been slapped into one of the vats of molten something-or-another in Hephaestus’ forge, and Strife delightfully says that she’ll never see Superman the same, strong way again after that TKO. In a moment which I’m sure is meant to be much more impressive, Clark emerges from the fire pit and socks Apollo on the jaw. The god of the sun is knocked back and down… But not ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOM like a certain bro from Krypton. Apollo then blasts Clark with, I dunno, a ray form his face (like ya do), but Clark emerges all glowy because, y’know, sunlight.

Last issue, she pulled a knife. This issue, he roughs up her brother. This is TOTALLY a healthy relationship.

Last issue, she pulled a knife. This issue, he roughs up her brother. This is TOTALLY a healthy relationship.

Apollo takes himself a pounding and Clark returns to politely thank Hephaestus for his help. Strife, in the background, gushes. Meanwhile, in Wonder Woman, she’s sworn to kill Diana and stuff, but let’s ignore that for comedy that is misogynistic and falls utterly flat. After all, this is New 52 DC.

She IS a god. One of MANY. Why would she SAY "god," in the singular, as an exclamation?!

She IS a god. One of MANY. Why would she SAY “god,” in the singular, as an exclamation?!

The issue wraps with a bunch of guys on camelback in the desert being ripped apart by something unseen… And the apparent return of General Zod. And me snoring.

RRRRRHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH! Indeed.

RRRRRHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH! Indeed.

——

Wonder Woman #025 – Strife commissions a weapon to defeat Wonder Woman and Hephaestus provides her with what looks like a single, red-hot nail. Hephaestus, even though he made the thing, is skeptical, but Strife looks super psyched. Meanwhile, Cassandra is on flying metal cockroach of a plane and using Ol’ What’s-His-Name to find baby Zeke (because, obviously, he’s a child of prophecy and destined to be ultra powerful).

This is What's-His-Name. I seriously cannot remember his name, nor can I be bothered to remember it.

This is What’s-His-Name. I seriously cannot remember his name, nor can I be bothered to remember it.

Hermes and his weird-ass chicken feet are creeping all over Diana (dressed in a burlap sack but still wearing her tiara in public), Hera, and Zeke’s-Mom-Whose-Name- I-Also-Forget as they eat lunch and discuss how mortality made Hera a shit ton less crazy. Suddenly, Orion zooms overhead and announces that they’re under attack. He fries the tree that Hermes is leaning against and the two fight TO THE DEATH– Except for that they don’t because Strife shows up to giver her condolences to her brother, mother, and “baby sister” Diana amongst all of the fucking oblivious mortals just eating their sammiches and shit. Diana apologizes for Ares’ death, and Strife’s pretty much like, “Psh. Yeah, sure you are, skank.”

What a good daughter..!

What a good daughter..!

In a quick scene, we see Dio serving bits of a still living and conscious First Born to Apollo for dinner, because why not? We then return to Diana’s apartment (where that severed head is still on the mantle) and Strife is giving out presents AND THERE ARE BALLOONS! She has brought Hera the peacock feathered cloak she wore as queen of the gods, making her mother sort of sadly nostalgic, and has brought War’s horned helmet to Diana. Diana calls her a bitch and it rolls off of Strife’s shoulders as she gives the last gift, a magic spider-silk blanket for baby Zeke.

Back on the airship with Cassandra, she reveals that she, too, is a demigod, and then What’s-His-Face goes nuts and talks to no one as warthog- or dog-men chill out underground with video screens in a single, unexplained panel.

Back in the apartment, Orion has a temper tantrum because Diana won’t let him fight Hermes in her living room and Strife watches on with an amused smile.

Drinkin' champagne out the bottle...

Drinkin’ champagne out the bottle…

Sriracha Siracca blows in through the window and warns Diana that Milan (HA! That’s What’s-His-Name’s fucking name!) is being held captive by Cassandra, that he loves her, but that she’s torturing him, etc… Orion and all of his testosterone use the distraction to open up a BOOM Tube and Diana asks Strife to keep watch as she, Siracca, and Hermes travel to Chernobyl to save Milan from Cassandra. Strife is confused by the notion of Diana’s trust in her, but when Zeke’s mom re-entres the room, we see that their journey to Chernobyl apparently falls right into Strife’s plan.

No sign of that nail thingy... YET.

No sign of that nail thingy… YET.

——

World’s Finest #17 – This issue felt very much like filler. I’m still holding out for the crossover with Batman/Superman in January, but the past few issue shave fallen very flat. In this issue, Karen’s trying to find the silver lining of her still-fluctuating power levels by… Getting a tattoo?

How can this man be confused when everybody and their grandma has superpowers (unless their costume has pointy ears)?

How can this man be confused when everybody and their grandma has superpowers (unless their costume has pointy ears)?

Right, because she’s a tremendously successful business woman and getting another distinguishing characteristic is gonna be great for the maintenance of her secret identity.

We also get this completely realistic moment where Karen pulls down Helena's pants to reveal HER incredibly telling tattoo in public!

We also get this completely realistic moment where Karen pulls down Helena’s pants to reveal HER incredibly telling tattoo in public!

Speaking of which… While Helena is off trying to track down a coincidentally heavily tattooed murderess avec les pouvoirs super, Karen has decided that now would be a good time to go for the ultimate sunbath, hitching a $10 million ride on a shuttle to Right-In-Fucking-Front-Of-The-Sun, where she promptly strips down in front of the shocked pilot and goes for a little space walk.

He's looking right at her boobs...

He’s looking right at her boobs…

So, Helena’s trying to tackle this tattooed chick who, by the way, has tattoo-related super powers… And Karen’s sunbathing takes a bad turn when she apparently overloads. This, for some reason, sends her falling back towards Earth.

In space, no one can hear you "SWOOOOSH!"

In space, no one can hear you “SWOOOOSH!”

Karen conveniently lands in the water that runs under the bridge that Helena is also conveniently fighting a low-grade supervillain atop… And the impact distracts Helena so that she can go to her friend and comrade’s aid and so that Tattooed Chick can run away to fight in another issue. Whoo…

How is the water around her not boiling, then?

How is the water around her not boiling, then?

I actually had lots of pictures to attach to this review, but so little happened in this issue that I had to go back through and make sure that it was a full issue! This series opened a lot stronger, I feel, and I need them not to coast. The crossover needs to be amazing, because I’m considering dropping a lot of books and, until now, World’s Finest wasn’t among them.

Also, SUPER crazy about the product placement for "Man of Steel" in the background.

Also, SUPER crazy about the product placement for “Man of Steel” in the background.

What happened to you, DC? You used to be cool.

That’s it for the reviews this month! See you next time, Nerds!

The Originals and the Whitest New Orleans I’ve Ever Seen

I’ve only actually been to New Orleans once. It was post-Katrina, back in 2010 with a large and diverse group of friends. We had a fucking blast. I gave and received beads, drank too much booze, ate too much food and listened to as much live jazz as I possibly could.

Even in that kind of hedonistic haze, I remember QUITE a few black folk who were not me or part of my group. I remember them being at the airport when we got in, at the hotel and in the restaurants. Hell, there were even black folks just standing outside, hanging out…Because they are tons of black people in New Orleans. Because they live there. Because of slavery. But apparently slavery only really happened in a ‘when necessary to the plot’ kind of way on the CW. That’s why we can tap dance around Marcel having been a slave and even back to Mystic Falls where we tap dance around the fact that the Bennett witches were slaves ALL THE TIME.

Fine. I get it. Talking about slavery brings down the mood on your teenage vampire love story but y’all purposefully sent Klaus to NEW ORLEANS! You cannot throw a beignet without hitting a black person in NOLA! We’re kind of everywhere.

Unless you’re in New Orleans on the CW. Then you could throw whole bakeries and not hit one single negro. It’s kind of mind-blowing, actually. And turrible.

I guess I’ll just go watch American Horror Story: Coven where they have voodoo and other coloured things that are a huge part of life in New Orleans.

T-Dub, out.

Catching Fire: Movie vs Book (Part 2)

I would like to apologize for taking so long to write the second part of this blog, but I was doing NaNoWrimo for the month of Nov.  For those of you who do not know what that is – well you write 50,000 words of a novel in a month.  Crazy right, I did it last year and won, unfortunately I cannot say that about this year.  I really did try, the other fangirls can attest to that.  That happen to take my attention last week.  I do apologize to those who were waiting for this blog to come out.

Now onto the blog, in this installment of Catching Fire: Movie vs Book, I would like to look at the characters and do those comparisons.  Especially with the introduction of a few new important characters such as Finnick, Joanna, Beetee, and Plutarch, I will start by looking at old favorites first.

Obviously Spoilers:

Katniss

Obviously, we need to talk about her, she is kinda important to the plot and the movie.  I think they did a good job with showing how she is more damaged now.  In the movie, she spends more time alone in the woods, which is something she does in the book.  Granted in some ways I do not feel there was not that much change in her personality from the first movie to this one.  In some ways, I did not feel that way about the books as well.  As I mentioned in the previous one I do appreciate what attempts they made to show her PTSD.   In doing that, they did a great job of showing her vulnerability, which is definitely one of the biggest changes in Katniss.  She would have never asked Peeta for help or to stay with her. Katniss’s reaction to Peeta “dying” was perfect and really shows how much she has come to care about Peeta. With all that being said Jennifer Lawrence does a great job playing Katniss, she portrays her hard edge while at the same time playing the vulnerable emotional Katniss as well.

Peeta and Katniss as they enter the training arena

Peeta and Katniss as they enter the training arena

Peeta

I love Peeta, Team Peeta all the way.  Since the books are told entirely from Katniss’s point of view, it really gives the movies a chance to do more with some of the characters.   All the others characters are all well developed in the books, but the movies are able to take it a bit further.  With that being said, I love the edge they put on Peeta.  He is suppose to have one because like Katniss, he was affected by what he saw and did in the games.  He is affected by what the Capitol and President Snow is doing to them.  At the same time, he is still Peeta the guy who has loved Katniss since he was 5.  The sweetness of Peeta comes out when he gives her the pearl and the locket.  Because of this I would have loved to have seen the picnic on the roof top.  Josh Hutcherson really does a great job with this, he has said many times in interviews that he loves playing Peeta because they are similar and it comes out.

Haymitch

I would like to say that I love Woody Harrelson as Haymitch, he does a great job with the character.  In this movie you get some more in depth with Haymitch.  His hated of the Capitol, the fact that he does care for Peeta and Katniss and more of his wisdom, but with the movie cutting out some things you don’t get the full extent.  Without learning how Haymitch won his Hunger Games, you don’t learn what happened to him as a result you don’t find out the reason why he is a drunk.  While there are some things that are left out, the movie does a great job with that they do show.  You really get to see Haymitch’s investment in saving Peeta and Katniss this time because he knows they can survive.  As I said Woody Harrelson really does a great job with this character, especially with the drunk aspect.

Effie's Capitol Portrait

Effie’s Capitol Portrait

Effie

They really added more to Effie; I think even more then what the book.  She is snippier and has some amazing comments.  One of my favorite moments is when she tells them to smile and add that she is talking to Katniss.  It shows how well she knows the both of them.  The movie also showed how much she cares for them, by showing her reaction during the reaping ceremony; she looked like she was going to cry.   I have to say I really enjoyed the extra’s that were put into movie.  Of course Elizabeth Banks does a wonderful job playing Effie.

Gale

The movies really do their best to play up Gale, since he is so underplayed in the first 2 books.  Liam Hemsworth does a great job with Gale, I have always been Team Peeta and even while watching the movies, I am still Team Peeta.  I do appreciate that they keep Gale true to who he is in the books.  I do appreciate that Liam actually did get whipped for the whipping scene.  I think it is because of that it helps make that scene harder to watch and actually makes you feel for Gale.  The movie does a great job of showing how much Gale cares for Katniss.  I still think he came too late to the game on that one, but while watching the movie I really get the impression that he cares about her.  I really didn’t think he cares about her when I am reading the books.

President Snow's Capitol Portrait

President Snow’s Capitol Portrait

President Snow

Donald Sutherland is an amazing actor to begin with so it is no surprise he is amazing as President Snow.  The scene where President Snow visits Katniss at her home is amazing.  Donald Sutherland and Jennifer Lawrence play off each other so well.  The scene when Snow shakes his head telling Katniss she failed was just perfect.  You really dislike him, just like you are suppose to.  The extra scenes that were added in help emphasis this point, especially the scenes with Plutarch were perfect.

Cinna and the Prep Team

I just love the prep team they are hilarious.  Lenny Kravitz is great as Cinna, he comes off as someone who it not really “Capitol.”  The movie does under utilize the prep team and you don’t get to see their attachment to Katniss like you do in the books.  The movie does a great job with Cinna.  I was crying during the scene when they beat him.

Prim

Willow Shields, I love as Prim, she does a great job with the character.  Prim comes off with some more edge to her and an amazing understanding of what is going on.  That is different from the book at least to me, I felt that Prim was still a bit more naive in the books.  I did love seeing the scene where Prim helps the mom heal Gale after the whipping, it really shows how much Prim knows and her maturity.  Which makes me excited to see what they are going to with her in the next movies.

For our new characters:

Finnick

Finnick

Finnick

I am not in love with Sam Clafin as Finnick, do not get me wrong I liked Finnick.  Sam Clafin did a great job, especially with the sugar cube scene.  He definitely has the flirtatious nature down.  He has the hard edge and annoyance with Katniss’s attitude down.  I think I even flipped him off while watching the movie.  I have so say his relationship with Mags was great though.  I could see the bond between them, which made it even more tragic when Mags dies.  I remember not liking Finnick as much in this book as I did in the third one.  Looking at it from that point of view, he did a good job.  There just is something that I am not feeling with him, I hoping that will be fixed for the next movie since I love Finnick in Mockingjay.

Joanna

Joanna

Joanna

I will admit when I first heard they cast Jena Malone as Joanna I was like the girl from Saved.  I was nervous since Joanna is one of my favorite characters.  Jena Malone nailed it, she does an amazing job, I didn’t like Joanna until the third book and I was loving her in this movie.  She hit all the right aspects of Joanna and none of it seemed fake.  She played Joanna with the indifference and anger that is needed to make the attitude and bitchiness come off.  The elevator scene was amazing; Jena Malone did a great job with that.  As well with the interview scene and the scene where she yells at the capitol during the games.  I really hope they go into why she is the way she is in the next movie since they did not in this one.

Beetee during the training arena

Beetee during the training arena

Beetee

I have to say I love Jeffery Wright as Beetee, he plays him so well.  It really comes off how brilliant he is.  His calm nature is amazing and it does come off how much he cares for Wiress, that they are friends.  I am super excited to see the next movie since…. well I won’t say for those who have not read the book, but all of us who have read the books will understand.

Plutarch and Haymitch at the Capitol Party

Plutarch and Haymitch at the Capitol Party

Plutarch

Phillip Seymour Hoffman is great in this role, easily.  In the books, this character is very under developed since he has very little interaction.  I do love how the movie gives him the extra scenes with President Snow.  Those scenes were great because it shows how well Plutarch can manipulate the Capitol.  He understands how the game is played and based on those scenes you would never know that he was a part of the rebellion.

Wireless

Wireless

Wiress

I wanted to mention her because even though she does not survive this movie, if it was not for her Katniss would have never figured out what the arena was a clock.  I have to say Amanda Plummer did a great job with the role, I knew she would since she played crazy in So I Married an Ax Murderer.  I liked Wiress in the books and I liked her in the movie.   Amanda did a great job of playing the slightly unhinged Wiress during the arena, “Tick Tock, Tick Tock.” I was sad to see her die at the hands of Gloss.

Mags

Mags

Mags

Again she deserves a mention because if it was not for her sacrifice Finnick, Peeta, and Katniss might have been killed by the acid fog.  Lynn Cohn did a great job as Mags, instead of mumbling when she talked she just mimed everything.  The way it was done, I am really alright with that change it seemed very fitting.  The relationship with Finnick was beautiful.  She came off as a lovable grandmother.  Which made her sacrifice at all the more tragic, I really fine with the fact they did not show her death to be painful.

Overall I thought the casting choices were great even though I have some issues with Finnick.  All the actors really did a great job with the characters.  Without their portrayals  the movie would not have been as good.  The movie really did a great job of adding to some character who we do not get to see a lot of in the books.

I hope you liked my Catching Fire blogs, be sure to check out my first one if you have not done so already.

Until next movie,

-Christena